Small victories 💌 🍀
The 2 beverages I make every day, a looks-great-on-everyone sweater, an offline-first morning routine, the best sweatpants I've ever worn.
I last wrote you deep in the belly of some existential despair. Even my body felt like it was giving out on me, with a myriad of ailments that all seemingly set on at once, for no good reason other than I was having a no good, very bad, terribly stressful time. I hit send on that letter on Friday, still not seeing much of a path out of my situation & mindset. Today, I can say I’ve come round the bend a bit, thanks in large part to you.
I’m picking out little things each day that are feeling like a small victory and trying to tread through a yucky chapter with just a little more ease.
🌥 These are some of the bright spots that are making me feel one little centimeter better, every day: 🌥
Strictly enforcing a little routine that makes me feel better. I started by deleting Slack off my phone and personal laptop after I realized how addicted I was to doomscrolling there. Now I start each day as I used to: by reading a book for about 30 minutes, doing my morning/gratitude journaling, getting up, making coffee, and talking the puppy on a solo walk, all before I look at anything work related or sit down in front of a screen. Big impact already. Yes, I start a half hour later, and yes, I’m sure there’s a strong preference for me to have Slack on my person at all time— this is my boundary and I’m sticking to it.
I found some ease yesterday padding around the kitchen, making tahchin (I make it from memory but there are some good recipes out there!) and unloading the dishwasher while catching up with my friend
.Alisha made me feel a little bit of hope and sparkle, and knowing some of the hideously vulnerable things I’ve written here about entrepreneurship rang true to her feels especially sweet— she really is *the* newsletter queen to me. Last week I’d shied away from reconnecting with old founder friends or past coworkers, this week my calendar is stacked. I can feel that beginning to fill up my cup, a delicious reminder that when your instinct is to close yourself off to people… you likely actually need their help the most.
Not to keep singling out Alisha, but she recommended a sweater the other week in her “boring but it works WFH uniform” and I bought it and now it is my favorite item of clothing. My “boring but it works WFH uniform” is the now beloved Quince sweater and either these flares, these leggings, or, to be honest, these sweatpants, which are the best I have ever own and are essentially a cloud. My friend Sophie and I talk of almost nothing but Abercrombie sweats, they are the pinnacle of comfort. There is a little delight in crawling into them at the end (or beginning) of each day.
I actually committed to self-care, i.e. going to my beloved hole in the wall “spa” twice in the last week— an expense I would normally never allow myself— to try to fix my new disastrous back problems. (As an aside: if you’ve ever had spasms/knots that impaired your movement and you think came on from stress, please tell me what to do! I am hesitant to see a chiropractor but nothing is working and every day I get more warped like the old crone in Snow White.)
To Sam, a kind reader who wrote me one of the most thoughtful letters I’ve ever received on Friday. 💗
I have two signature beverages that I make every day.
The first is my iced americano. We were gifted the most incredible espresso machine ever by my parents in December and the amount of trial and error it took for us to make edible espresso has been incredibly embarrassing. I have finally perfected the “not too sweet, not too strong” balance with this iced americano with a splash of pistachio milk, super fancy (and really fucking good) vanilla bean, and the tiniest sprinkle topping of coffee cake sugar.
The second is sparkling water on the rocks with an extremely hearty squeeze of winter citrus. Every week I order a new batch of citrus from Farm to the People (frequent readers will recall this is my favorite way to get farmer’s market quality groceries delivered, code AZORAP19 gets you $25 off), and lately I’ve been loving sweet lime (!!), meyer lemon, oro blanco grapefruit and pink variegated lemons. I sip on this all night while we relax on the couch.
🔑 The major unlock with both of these beverages is that I recently bought new glassware, the very popular Marta glass from CB2. I get why influencers always plug these glasses— they’re affordable and really perfect for almost every beverage. I see myself ordering many more.
We are watching the new season of Fargo. It’s very good. I am easily scared and found the first 6 episodes very high-stress, mostly because it’s the plot of a recurring nightmare I’ve had since childhood. Jon Hamm gives a great performance, really incredible toying with Trumpian MAGA motifs, very John Dutton/Kevin Costner in Yellowstone. (If you haven’t read about how they had a dedicated nippleologist on set, you’re missing out.) I am a really really huge fan of Fargo in general, if you haven’t watched seasons 1-3, I urge you to make that a project.
I have a few friends who have been checking on me with so much intent and care— I feel really lucky to have people who remember little details about who I’m talking to or what I’m working on and will ask me how it went. What an amazing difference a little tenderness from your friends can make. 🤍
I hope you’re having a great week— happy hump day! All ears if you have feedback about today’s letter, and if you’re missing the longer form personal essay format, I have some headed your way soon. xx
Please please please if you get any good advice to not have a back like the old crone in Snow White, share! I am hesitant to see a chiropractor as well. I have relied on expensive medical massages and a foam roller to help my shoulder/back pain. I would love to hear others ideas in the next newsletter, thank you!
Ah yayy - and glad you love the Quince sweater. And that coffee cake sugar !!! looks amazing.