Growing up in a household where perfection was the only standard of existence can leave lasting impressions on a person. In my experience, mistakes and failures weren’t permitted, and everything had to be perfect.
My parents would remind us that this world has no room for mediocrity. Even activities pursued for fun were subjected to the same rigorous scrutiny.
My sister and I grew up taking painting lessons - an hour, five days a week for years. Not everything we did was great, but we weren’t necessarily terrible at it. Then again, we weren’t planning to be professionals here or pursue an art career. It was a hobby, something we genuinely enjoyed.
However, even in our artistic endeavors, the critical eye of our father loomed large. Months of effort could be met with dismissive comments or suggestions for improvement. The pressure to achieve perfection was relentless, often taking away the joy that should have accompanied our creative pursuits.
Our father's exceptionally high standards extended beyond painting and infiltrated even the lighthearted dance performances we would put together for special occasions. These elaborate productions with various costume changes, created by two children, were meant to bring joy and celebration. Yet, our father's harsh criticism during the final show sucked the fun out of the experience. The pursuit of perfection infiltrated every aspect of our lives. (Side note: yes, these performances were as dorky as they sound.)
Recently, I have been trying to find my way back to painting and the joy it once brought me. Starting with doodles using ink pens, I allowed myself to experiment and have fun. However, when I transitioned to watercolors, I felt my inner critic dampen my enthusiasm by criticizing everything or labeling it mediocre. Although to be honest, it sounded nothing like me but more like my dad.
Wait, why call it mine, then?
In fact, let me share what my voice would sound like. For example, for the painting below:
I would say something encouraging like: “Your painting is fine! YOU ARE FINE! You know how to draw bees now. That’s cool.”
On the other hand, my dad's critical voice, disguised as my own, would nitpick the bee in the middle and how unrealistic it looks or even criticize the lavender.
Therefore, I find it more advantageous to focus on my positive inner voice. I would like to showcase some of my art pieces from the past six months, along with silly captions that reflect my internal dialogue.
Striving for perfection can rob us of the joy in our creative pursuits. I need to remember the importance of embracing imperfection, nurturing self-compassion, and rediscovering the joy in artistic expression.
By releasing the need for flawless outcomes and celebrating the process, we can rekindle the spark of creativity and find fulfillment in our artistic endeavors. I am sure; I am not alone here.
Dear fellow cultivator, have you encountered the pressure to achieve perfection in your creative pursuits? How has it affected your joy and fulfillment in the creative process? What steps have you taken or will you take to let go of perfection and rediscover the beauty in embracing imperfection? I would love to read about your experiences and even see some pictures!
I'm re-learning how to paint, too, and there's definitely critical voices coming up. I loved reading your positive voices here - funny and inspiring!
You are f*cking fantastic, Asmita! You could put those on a line of greeting/note cards and they'd sell like hotcakes! Jealous of your talent. I stopped at stickmen. xo