When ADHD Gives You Brain Drain
Crafting a survival guide for days when your brain just won’t brain
Some days, my brain just refuses to brain. Let me explain myself.
Every now and then, I wake up, and my brain refuses to do the most basic shit, like figure out how I want my coffee in the morning. I have written about my struggles with decision-making in this space before; however, some days, decision-making is not the only problem. My brain has difficulty prioritizing, making it challenging to figure out how I want to structure my day. Additionally, I find myself zoning out on calls, and even if I end up finding something to work on, my brain has a hard time focusing on the task at hand. These are the days when my brain is running incredibly low on dopamine, and executive functions just don’t show up at all!!
I had one of those days recently, and all I wanted to do was lay on the couch with my dogs (obviously) and scroll through social media. That was the only option/decision that sounded good at that moment. AKA, my brain refused to brain or make a choice, and I am sure I am not alone in this.
While I would like to claim that my ADHD diagnosis has permitted me to accept these days of zero to low executive function as a possibility and that I have come to terms with it, I don’t think I am fully there yet. I am working towards accepting myself and my ADHD brain with all its beautiful (and, at times, infuriating) quirks.
However, I can definitely claim that on low-dopamine, high-executive dysfunction days (AKA “Bad ADHD days”), I don’t expect or force myself to perform at my best, nor do I reprimand myself for not showing up at my very best (which is highly overrated anyway - I remind myself). This, alone, is a massive step for me. My inner critic can be fierce, which makes this newfound kindness and compassion towards myself a gigantic improvement from the guilt and anger generated by my brain’s low-capacity days.
I am trying to create a “template” of sorts that can be used when I am going through a Bad ADHD Day (or B.A.D.).
Here’s what it looks like for now:
Allow myself to reschedule events or calls:
I have surrounded myself with people who understand that now all days are equal, and while we might plan to catch up in person or over Zoom, we extend each other the kindness and compassion needed to reschedule or cancel as needed. I want to be present during the interaction, and if my brain has no capacity to focus at the moment, forcing myself to be on the call will not lead to a meaningful conversation. I am allowed to reschedule or cancel events on B.A.D.Incorporate some gentle movements:
While the idea of an intense workout sounds excruciatingly painful, I know that some form of movement will help me get out of the funk. Instead of a high-intensity workout or an hour-long weight training class, I go for a walk with my dog. I get out of the house, breathe in some fresh air, AND connect with my dog. It might not bring me back to my 100%, but it sure as hell makes me feel good, and that’s all my brain needs.Journal:
I know, I know, but hear me out. I won’t speak for all ADHD brains, but mine is terrible at processing everything in real-time. Writing down how I am feeling helps me process things better. If you are new to journaling or free writing is not for you, I recommend looking for journaling prompts online. I recommend Suleika Jaouad’s substack, Isolation Journals, for an endless supply of journaling prompts.
Additionally, here are some prompts that I have found helpful on bad ADHD brain days.Write some joys from the past week/months.
Pretend the day is over, and it was absolutely amazing. Write as if you are reflecting on the day.
List some of your hidden talents.
How do you like to express yourself when words don’t cut it?
P.S. I didn’t come up with these. I wish I could link the sources, but they are probably from The Good Trade, Isolation Journals, other journaling substacks, or a journaling book like The Inside The Out.Simple, low stake activities - additional points if it is something creative:
I am not trying to start a new project or even make significant progress on my existing projects on days like this. I am just trying not to doom-scroll ALL DAY LONG. I am looking for activities that bring me peace and joy. For me, watercolor painting fits the bill. Painting some mushrooms or greenery does the trick. If artwork isn’t for you, here are some options you might want to consider:
Scrapbooking - an excellent way to use all the crafts supplies you may or may not have. Have you tried tearing some magazines? It feels good!
Doodling - draw the various plants in your space (maybe that is just me, lol). Draw your favorite mug or all the mugs you have.
Dance party - put on a song, any song, and dance like the drunk uncle at an Indian wedding. Trust me, it has to be to an Indian wedding. Close your door if you don’t want an audience, and then you will literally be dancing like no one is watching.
Stretching - you can say that this is the mid-30s talking, but a 15-20 minute stretch session feels divine, irrespective of my mental state. However, these stretch sessions are extra lovely on a B.A.D. (I am making it a thing now 😉).
Naps - this one doesn’t speak to me, but I know it works for many folks.
Feed myself!
Even though I am not cooking on bad ADHD days, I need to make sure I feed myself. Luckily, I have access to Doordash, and usually, I have a go-to meal of the season. A while back, it was Chipotle, but lately, it has been one of those bougie warm salad bowls. You know what I am talking about: the Sweetgreens or Mixt salad bowls that come with some grains and lots of veggies. Anyhow, lately, those warm salad bowls are all I want. I can have those any day of the week, which makes feeding myself relatively easy because my brain can’t be bothered to make decisions, especially when my brain has zero capacity for any executive function whatsoever. Oh! And drink lots of water.
Self-compassion:
You knew I wouldn’t end this list without a reminder to be kind to your brain so, here it is - a reminder to be compassionate to ourselves. It is a good reminder for any day, but it is critical on days when our brain is struggling. I realized that being hard on myself for such days only delayed the recovery process and even led to a depressive state at times.
The “template” here for my low-dopamine, high-executive dysfunction days is a work in progress. I would love to know if anything on the list resonates with you. What is your approach to coping with bad/silly brain days? I would love to hear about it in the comments below. I am always looking for inspiration on ways to cope with such days.
My strategies not working any more; when they did I meditate for ages until I get GROUNDED AUTHENTIC messages just to do 2-3 simple things..John.
Yup. Good to see that dialogues about ADD/ADHD are starting to appear. Thanks.