Just ONCE, can I please...
A list of wishes for the new year. And the rest of my (digital) life.
I have lots of lofty wishes for the new year about simplicity, equanimity, and inner (and world) peace.
Just once, could I please:
Fill up my gas tank without the pump accosting me with questions (“Rewards card?” “If no: sign up for rewards card today?” “Zip code?” “Car wash?” “Pin?” “Bra size?”)
unsubscribe to something in ONE EFFING CLICK
not receive emails I didn’t sign up for in the first place
watch a tutorial video for the task I’m trying to figure out how to do (or any video, ever), without having to watch an ad first
land on a website without the immediate popup encouraging me to enter my email address
be able to attend an event that does not require creating an account in order to get tickets, (or tell me I already have an account, because I bought tickets to something five years ago —but of course didn’t write down the password)
do anything, ever, without having to create an account
be able to see the password I’m trying to create. (Why why why won’t you just give me the “eye” every time?)
log in to my email at work without having to verify via my phone that it’s me
be allowed to create super easy, memorable passwords the way I did in the past, (like that period of time I got away with using “I HATE PASSWORDS”)
give a charitable donation to an entity without receiving unrequested return-address labels (and requests for more money) from said entity for eternity
open a recipe without needing to scroll through a memoir to get to the ingredient list. (My favorite words in the English language: “Jump to recipe.”)
scan an item at the ALDI self-checkout without the computer voice IMMEDIATELY telling me to “scan another item.” Over and over and over. (I am scanning, lady, I am! Calm your t _ _ s.)
read a news story without being slapped by a paywall popup that makes me feel like I’ve committed some kind of offense
…and don’t. even. get. me. STARTED on job application/resumé portals and the Applicant Tracking System (ATS). Mark my words: if I find myself needing to start re-applying again, (a process I’ve been through an ungodly number of times since 2020), I will jump off a cliff.
(But don’t worry — a pile of junk mail and plastic bags will cushion my fall.)
As an indie writer putting in multiple hours each week to try to keep posting, I do a happy dance around my apartment any time someone helps support my work with a $5/month donation (or $50/year). Please consider being one of those people! Make me dance! Right now everything is FREE, but I’ll be paywalling some content soon. Get in while the gettin’s good!
Iowa Writers’ Collaborative
I’m honored to be included in the Iowa Writers’ Collaborative, which consists of current or former professional writers: journalists, columnists, novelists, memoirists, and media professionals providing excellent writing you don’t want to miss. Please consider picking a few you’d like to support (including me!) by becoming paid.
Don't get me started! Passwords are truly the devil's work. "Make it unique" ... just so I can order a pair of slippers!
Great writing, my friend!!!
Loved your Aldi comment! Reminds me of when the credit card machine starts honking at you if you don't take your card out RIGHT WHEN THEY TELL YOU TO!