Hi beautiful souls,
Wow. It’s been awhile and although I’ve spent my time away deeply inhaling all the changes, the sweet aromas of newness and transitions, and being stretched once again, I’ve missed this space. I’ve missed weaving words together from my heart and courageously sending it out into the world. I’ve missed intentionally slowing down and allowing my thoughts and what resonates pour out of my fingers onto a blank canvas - with hopes that I’m walking in obedience and doing what is pleasing to the Lord. I’ve missed writing, to put it plain and simple. It feels so nourishing to “love my neighbor” in this virtual space and to do so abundantly.
Fall is my favorite season. To me, it represents goodness and new beginnings. It represents stillness. It represents shedding. It represents speaking less and noticing more. I’ve spent so much of my time away just…noticing. (You’ll be surprised at what is hidden beneath the surface when you pay attention.) Speaking when needed but returning back to my quiet places even more. There’s been a level of longing, tenderness, and gentleness that this season brings and I’m learning that if I’m not careful, I can miss the fingerprints of God being distracted by everything else. Sometimes, it can be hard to cling to the sweetness and goodness when it’s knocking on our door because we wonder, “How long will this last?” and then we hold our breaths waiting for the rain, the heartache, the discomfort, the stretching. So as we prepared to PCS, once again, to upstate New York, I found myself holding my breath and having to guide myself back to the present moment - God is and will always be good. Where He leads comes with divine covering, protection, favor and grace but taking my hands off the reins can be and IS hard.
This new beginning, I’m claiming and expecting lightness, even as the snow comes and rapidly cover the ground in thick clouds. My intention is to both notice and cultivate it and allow it to wash over me, continuously.
What some moments of lightness, joy, and being has looked like for me lately: finding hidden treasures in upstate NY. Noticing the beauty of the different colors of the trees and how intentional it all seems. Reading books, not just to learn a new thing, but to experience the love of a hobby. Turning on the fireplace that’s nestled in our tv stand in the hush of the mornings. Hearing the excitement in my daughter’s voice when she says, “Mommy, I like this place.” Purging and donating things I no longer need or use. Kind smiles from strangers. Finding cozy places in my home for new plants. Interior decorating. Porch sitting. Fruit from farmers markets. My daughter starting preschool *tears*. Turning the kitchen into a sacred place. Morning dates with my hubby. French pressed coffee with brown sugar and organic half and half. Soft lighting from lamps. Natural light from opening blinds. Homemade biscuits in a cast iron. Bible reading and worship listening. Body butters, soaps, fragrances, candles. Deep belly laughs. Rewatching romcoms. Listening. Trusting. Self-reflecting. Being.
On a Thursday, after about a week of being in our new house, surrounded by other military families, where building community is a priority for so many, I thought to myself, “Nobody has come over to introduce themselves or to say hi.” I often find that my family and I are the first and sometimes only ones who are intentional about meeting our neighbors and that realization brought a level of sadness. Bringing fresh, warm homemade banana nut bread and our love as an open invitation that says, “We’re here and ready to serve/help in any way we can.” is what fuels us. As I was slowly going down a deeper hole of negativity and “maybe I should stop”, I heard God say, “When I tell you to do something (serve and love your neighbor), don’t be consumed by getting recognized or it being reciprocated.”
“Let us not get tired of doing good, for we will reap at the proper time if we don’t give up.” - Galatians 6:9 CSB
I’m not afraid or ashamed to say that I need community. I firmly believe although there will be seaons where God keeps us separated and hidden for His glory, to mold and transform us, for a greater purpose, we were never created to do life alone. I prayed and asked God to keep me open and ready me for new beginnings and possibilities. I prayed that while we’re here, in a new place, where we don’t really know anyone, that God would bring anointed and equally yoked people in our life - to help and not hinder and in turn that we would help and not hinder others.
Two days later and the first day of my spiritual fast for the month, I was home alone while my husband and daughter left to run an errand. The doorbell rang and with confusion I checked our Ring App and saw a husband, wife, and their 2 children standing on our porch holding a covered aluminum foil pan. I opened the door and all of their faces lit up. As they greeted me, introduced themselves, and handed me the brownies she made, I smiled like a goofball — not so much because of their kindness but more so because God is ALIVE, REAL, and GOOD! The entire moment felt like a God wink. There are times where I pray and request something specific and He moves immediately and wow, that feeling is overwhelming.
As the seasons change and as I continue to be molded by God, I pray that I remain open and ready for all that He is doing — without questioning, hesitation, uncertainty, or thinking it’s supposed to go my way. There’s a tenderness of trying, serving, and loving and letting it matter more than the outcome. There’s a lightness in our posture when we keep our heart soft to the possibilities. There’s a gentle peace in knowing that God is not just Lord but He is Lord AND good (“And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.” - Romans 8:28.)
The trees trust the change. They trust the process. It’s about time I do the same.
Song That’s Been on Repeat:
Massive love and light,
Amber
Im so happy to see that you have started your newsletter again. It really helped me in the past and this newsletter really blessed me today. Love tou much.
Absolutely Beautiful! Ahhh the sovereignty of our loving Abba Father. His ways are so beyond us! May He continue to show Himself faithful to you and your family in this new season/chapter of your lives. 🥰