While taking a long drive with my sister, Danielle, we listened to Howard Stern interview Dolly Parton. In the interview, Dolly tells the story of how she heard Whitney Houston’s version of her song “I Will Always Love You” for the first time ever while driving in her Cadillac. When she heard the song, she was so overcome by Whitney’s voice and interpretation of the song that she had to pull off the road to listen to it.
Danielle and I looked at each other at this moment as if to say “remarkable”. I mean, right? We both knew that if we had been in Dolly’s position, we would not be nearly as gracious. I know that if I had first heard that version of my song on the radio, I would have been pissed and hurt. I would have thought, what the hell? Why didn’t I get to listen to the version of MY song before the rest of the world did?
How is it possible that Dolly heard Whitney’s incredible version of “I Will Always Love You” for the first time only when it came out on the radio? How was she able to just ignore the blatant disrespect they showed her and instead just enjoy the fact that she was witnessing something sacred (and was also about to make a lot more money)?
But I guess that is what makes Dolly Dolly.
Dolly acknowledged that this was a bit of a surprise, but it didn’t make her mean or mad or disillusioned. She didn’t choose the worst version of the story. Instead she focused on the beauty of the moment.
But, let’s not confuse her ability to see the best in people with being a pushover. Dolly can be tough and advocate for herself when she needs to. She has had incredible business acumen. For example, she talks about how she quit her first TV job when it was at its peak of success because she knew she was destined to be more than someone’s sidekick. She held firm to her vision for herself even when people thought she was crazy not to stay at that job. In another example, she denied Elvis the rights to her song “I Will Always Love You” when he requested it. Yes, you heard that correctly, she said no to Elvis. That took gumption. She did not want to give up rights to her song.
Maybe one of my goals for 2024 is to be more like Dolly.
How can I see the best version of a story? Give someone the benefit of the doubt? Stop being so darn sensitive? But at the same time be strong. Stick to my principles. Have a vision for myself and make hard decisions to stay aligned with that vision. Dolly seems to have a superhuman ability to know when to lean into the good and when to fight like hell. I can only hope to achieve a small slice of her wisdom.
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GIFT GUIDE
OK, I am definitely not Oprah, but I do have a few of my favorite things that I recommend for gifts this holiday season.
Family Fun
Eeboo puzzles
eeBoo is a woman owned, mother run, sustainable company. Their puzzles are beautiful and just the right level of challenge for me. Doing puzzles is probably the only time I forget to check my phone. It is a perfect activity if you need to clear out the noise in your brain, transition from one activity to the next or just feel satisfaction of making progress on something. It also can be surprisingly social. Doing puzzles with my daughter Gabrielle ranks among my favorite things.
OK Boomer Trivia Game
This is a picture of my aunt during Thanksgiving cracking up as we played OK Boomer (see the cards on the table). OK Boomer is a trivia game with 5 categories: Gen Z, Millennial, Gen X, Boomer, and Silent generation. The goal is get a right answer for each generation. If you need a good inter-generational game, OK Boomer is perfect. You are guaranteed to laugh and learn.
Online Cooking course with Julia Turshen (gift cards available)
Gideon and I have taken a handful of Julia’s cooking classes from the comfort of our own kitchen over the past 6 months. We have learned so much, fed many people delicious food and have had a ton of fun. When you sign up, Julia sends you a list of items to buy before class and then you can cook along with her during class. After an hour and a half, you have a beautiful and delicious meal! It’s educational, community building and food positive (there is zero diet talk in her classes). She also provides online kids classes if you have a budding chef in the family.
BOOKS
Fat Talk by Virginia Sole Smith
With eating disorders at an all time high as well as a desire to live authentically and challenge societal expectations that do not resonate, Fat Talk comes at the perfect time.
“Fat Talk is a stirring, deeply researched, and groundbreaking book that will help parents learn to reckon with their own body biases, identify diet culture, and empower their kids to navigate this challenging landscape. Sole-Smith draws on her extensive reporting and interviews with dozens of parents and kids to offer a provocative new approach for thinking about food and bodies, and a way for us all to work toward a more weight-inclusive world.”
Buy Fat Talk for friends, family, doctors, therapists, teachers and trainers. Now is the time to question our anti-fat bias and create a safe world for all people.
Date Night Questions Experience
As many of you know, my sister and brother-in-law have an amazing podcast called Marriage and Martinis. Each week they discuss different topics and work on their relationship in real time. Over the years they have accumulated discussion questions that have helped them connect and gain insight on each other and their relationship. We are lucky enough to benefit from their hard work by having access to these questions in their Date Night Questions book.
Find out why top therapists and thousands of couples from all over the world have chosen this as their prime resource to help reignite intimacy, strengthen communication, spark laughter, and plan for a brighter future together
Buy it for a spouse, a young couple, empty nesters and everyone in-between. The Date Night Questions is an investment in the relationship.
Young Adult’s first apartment
Jar Key
My sister-in-law Joanna introduced me to this and my life has never been the same. It will open literally any jar with a tight lid. It somehow breaks the air-tight seal in a way that allows you to open the lid without effort. The days of banging a jar against the table are over.
Digital Meat Thermometer
Take the guesswork out of making chicken. There is a way to know for sure if it is cooked through. A meat thermometer has reduced my cooking anxiety by a lot.
Environmentally friendly
Java Compost
Is a friend or family member trying to reduce their carbon footprint? Composting can be the answer. Locally, we use Java Compost to collect our leftover food (we tried and failed (badly) to compost in our own backyard, now we pay the experts). They compost the food to make nutrient rich soil for farms and gardens. Since Java Compost started their business, they have kept 2,750,996 pounds of food scraps out of landfills and incinerators. If you don’t live near me, I bet you can find a service–either provided by your town or by a private company like Java Compost. It’s a perfect gift for a friend and for the environment.
I hope this list of gift ideas has been helpful. Let’s start a thread of other ideas. Share your gift suggestions by clicking the comment button below.
The Bird Hotel by Joyce Maynard
After a childhood filled with heartbreak, Irene, a talented artist, finds herself in a small Central American village where she checks into a beautiful but decaying lakefront hotel called La Llorona at the base of a volcano.
The Bird Hotel tells the story of this young American who, after suffering tragedy, restores and runs La Llorona. Along the way we meet a rich assortment of characters who live in the village or come to stay at the hotel. With a mystery at its center and filled with warmth, drama, romance, humor, pop culture, and a little magical realism, The Bird Hotel has all the hallmarks of a Joyce Maynard novel that have made her a leading voice of her generation.
The Bird Hotel is a big, sweeping story spanning four decades, offering lyricism as well as whimsy. While the world New York Times bestselling author Joyce Maynard brings to life on the page is rendered from her imagination, it's one informed by the more than twenty years of which she has spent a significant amount of her time in a small Mayan indigenous village in Guatemala.
As the New York Times said, "[Maynard] has an unswerving eye, a sharply perked ear, and the ability to keep her readers hanging on her words." People Magazine said of her: "Maynard's spare prose packs a rich emotional punch."
Love your gift guide Amy! I too really enjoy doing puzzles--the eebo-ones look gorgeous, I didn’t know them yet. I’m personally a sucker for Michael Storrings’ puzzles, I love how they tell so many small stories 🧩