August 1st, 2023
Essex, Vermont - Nest Coffee and Bakery
On the menu:
Mixed berry turnover
Mocha coffee
I’m sitting across from the Essex train station. Memories of stepping on or off the train feel present, which then leads me to feel the nostalgia of when I’d go back and forth with NYC. I do desire this. It’s the recent past that was the most shiny, glimmery. As if everything else didn’t exist. It’s like I was pushed out of NYC. But guess what, my womb and heart still long for it. Like a long lost lover. What if instead I focused on what’s to come? The exciting delicious adventure that’s just around the corner. Travel, seeing new places, taking it all in. I love to eat. I’m so excited to eat and explore all of the delicious food the world has to offer. That’s something I do love, is traveling with food. Also travel via strolls. I love to stroll, take pictures, soak up the magic of a new city deep inhales. I want a cannoli, freshly packed with ricotta, handed to me by a proud Italian grinning with glee to share his pride and joy.
I want to meet new people. Artists, travelers, kind and grounded individuals with bursting hearts and a radiant Spirit.
I want a home, a place where love is
honored, the softness of my edges, the openness
of my heart, melting into a puddle, craddled by
two hands, cupping together, looking up from
their hands, our eyes meet, and I know
my heart is held with love, it is safe to take
off walls I built while away
any masks I put on to protect myself, to let go
relax, and be held.
It’s okay to want someone, it’s okay to do this
with someone. I can be alone, and why not
be together?
This is part 1 of a 4 part Cafe Journal series I’ll post on Wednesdays. These are all entries in my journal I was resisting to share from the summer. After I transcribed them from journal to Substack drafts, I realized there is a beautiful sequence of reflections that connect in unexpected ways.
Part 2: The cosmic grind
Part 3: Vivid Coffee
Part 4: A Bridge between worlds
I’m excited to invite you into the circle as a subscriber. Everything I write is free to access with no paywall. If you feel inspired to give back every month, you can become a paid subscriber for $7.99 a month. Your contributions directly support me as a writer.