August 9th 2023
Church Street Burlington, Vermont - The Cosmic Grind
On the menu:
Almond flavored iced coffee
A few pages of Italian Days by Barbara Grizzuti
Sometimes words don’t flow out of me until I sit down and read someone else’s words to jiggle the creative center of my being awake.
The past week since I last wrote, has been tough. I feel like I need to know my direction but I’m simultaneously grieving the end of a relationship. Just a few months ago, my focus was on growing a wellness centered business, moving into an apartment with my boyfriend, and gearing up for another year in New York City.
At the time it felt wrong. But now, as I sit alone most of the time, in the tranquil hometown of Burlington, my heart misses all of it. Letting go to switch directions, holding space for both loss and something new.
I can feel in me, my time is coming up, to shift, to pursue a change. I love change. I love to jump around the various desires of my heart and ask myself, what’s next? How can I get there?
There is so much I don’t know about tomorrow yet I know everything about tomorrow. I feel like I’m waiting for a savior moment. For something magical to be offered to me. Because right now, I don’t feel the spark I felt a few months ago to pursue something special.
I wrote this right before work and had to pause abruptly to start my shift. This is part 2 of a 4 part Cafe Journal series I’ll be post on Wednesdays. These are all entries in my journal from the summer that I resisted to share. After I transcribed them from journal to Substack drafts, I realized there is a beautiful sequence of reflections that connect in unexpected ways.
Part 1: Beginning of the journey
Part 3: Vivid Coffee
Part 4: A Bridge between worlds
I’m excited to invite you into the circle as a subscriber. Everything I write is free to access with no paywall. If you feel inspired to give back every month, you can become a paid subscriber for $7.99 a month. Your contributions directly support me as a writer.