The girl was excited. It was Christmas eve and Santa could come in the night. Very carefully she placed a cushion on a chair by the computer table in the living room. She wanted Santa to have a comfy place to rest for a while. She put a can of soda and some cookies on a plate on the table so Santa could have a snack. Then she placed the letter she had printed on the table so that Santa would read it. The girl was on the cusp of being too old to be a true believer, but magic was still very much a part of her world. She was realizing that she was different. She had been told that she had Asperger’s syndrome, and that her brain worked differently than many other people’s brains worked, but she was a very special person and loved by many people.
She worked hard in school and got above average grades. She believed that if she worked hard enough, she could be “normal”. The anxiety and deep depression that would ultimately lead her to take her life because she just couldn’t try anymore, leaving great bloody holes in the hearts of a hundred or more people who loved her, was a long way on the future. Tonight, she was happy and warm and loving and loved. She believed that it was important to do good things for others. Her letter asked Santa for a magic coin that could grant wishes. She promised to use the magic coin only for good. She wrote that she had been a very, very, very, good girl, had worked very hard in school, and was a good girl for her Mommy and Daddy. It was all true. She would not lie to anyone, especially Santa. The girl had trouble getting to sleep that night, but eventually the Sandman won, as he always did.
In the morning the girl ran to the living room and looked on the computer table. There was a bite taken out of the cookie and a sip taken out of the can of soda. Santa had left a letter for the girl on the computer.
Dear Emily:
Thank you for the comfy place to rest, the cookies, and the soda. It is hard getting all the presents delivered in just one night. Thank you for having faith in me. As long as one girl or boy believes and has faith I will be here.
The elves and I have watched how hard you work in school and at being good. We are very proud of you. Your family is very proud of you and loves you very much. Your Mommy and Daddy love you and try hard to do what is best for you. They are proud of how hard you work and how much progress you have made in the past year.
I wish I could give you a magic coin, but you have to understand that magic is a very rare and special thing. I use quite a bit of it getting down chimneys and getting the reindeer to fly every year. Magic in the wrong hands can be very dangerous so we have to keep a close watch on it. I know that you would use the magic to do good, but the rules are very strict about mortals having magic.
Many of your wishes can come true if you keep working hard and learning.
Don’t be sad because in a way you have magic in you. When you do things that you didn‘t think you could, that is a magical thing. The way your Mommy and Daddy feel when you have a group hug is magic as well. I know that your Daddy thinks that the time you spend with him is magical.
Many girls and boys don’t have parents who love them, and you have two that is magical in a way.
The way that you have grown and dealt with your condition is magical too. You are different in some ways that make some things harder for you but part of your being different makes you the wonderful girl that you are. You would not be you if you weren’t different.
Me, the elves, your parents, your family, and all your friends at school know that you are a special person who brings joy to people with your kindness and the way you care about others. The love that you give is the most magical thing of all.
Merry Christmas.
Santa
PS
The sleigh was very full, so I had to leave the rest of your presents at your Granny and Grandad’s house.
I don’t know how long magic lasts, but I know it is real. I saw it in the eyes of a girl on Christmas morning a long time ago.
How you cherished her!
She would love your tender story
if she could have lived to read it.
She had the magic in her
to live as long as she did.
This is your elegy for her
to share her lovely soul with us.
Thank you, Fred.
Words give courage
Words give strength
Give your words to the world