There has been a battle raging inside of me. I believe there might be one raging inside of you too.
The injustices, corruption, zombified masses, creeping totalitarianism, erosion of freedoms and rights, etc., etc,. etc., and so much more all seem pervasive. The tide seems to be rising all around our high ground. Our safe havens and hard fought sanctuaries are under siege.
Do we go John Rambo? Are we filled with vengeance? Is righteous indignation our default state?
Can we really subsist like this every day, in perpetuity?
Perhaps.
It would undoubtedly be a grind. It might syphon the joy out of life as well as the vitality.
Is it worth it?
Maintaining a warrior ethos that solely focuses on the fight, the foe, and the friction is unlikely to yield a bounty worthy of this sacrifice, in my humble opinion.
Perhaps in different circumstances I would feel differently. However, here and now, as a father and husband and someone with enough to be grateful for, I do not wish to be Spartan with my life in order to oppose the potential of great tyranny. I will stand in allegiance with the resistance. I will fight for my family, rights, freedom, and justice, but I do not wish to preemptively relinquish all I hold dear to become a samurai.
The time might come when I have no choice but for now I still can marinade in the joy of what beauty and love exist in my life. There was a period in the early-mid pandemic where I turned from my fortunes and had a grievance that invaded all of my life. My wife suffered. My children suffered. And I suffered - unconsciously, at first, then with full self-awareness and yet, I continue to stoke the flames of my rage.
I sacrificed my happiness, my time, and my blessings because the world is unjust, cruel, and only getting more so. But I did not wait for the apocalypse to reveal itself in actuality, I conjured its completion every day.
When we hold the potential catastrophes of the future as already realities of our present, we sacrifice the joy of now for an imaginal sorrow that might never arrive. This is self destructive behavior.
I partook in it.
However, there is a fine line between resisting self-sabotage due to anticipatory projections and burying one’s head in the sand in the face of encroaching evil. It is good to be prepared and aware. This I still hold with the outmost of conviction. However, it is a disservice to self and the world to live as if the worst is inevitable and present.
I will not sacrifice the bliss of life right now for anything, including the reality of a dystopian future.
Why not?
One, I do not need to give both my present and future to the darkness.
Consider this. Would you not rather live happily until a second before an asteroid hit the Earth ending all human life than to live fearfully for months or years in anticipation?
Two, if I can do something, I should, and then release, surrender, and enjoy.
I have prepared. I will continue to prepare but I will also continue to squeeze the joy out of life until there is none left for me.
So, what is this war within?
It is the schism in my being between the part that knows treachery is planned and being enacted and beauty is real and to be savoured.
It is the question in my soul of: Should I be a lover or should I be a fighter?
Can we not be both?
Can the warrior not reveal his might by boldly enjoying life in the face of malevolence?
I touched on this in my article, No More Time to Fight Against…: Preparing for the post-pandemic world, and it is worth remind myself of often. Focusing on what I am fighting for is a far healthier perspective than concentrating on what I am fighting against.
I think a warrior needs to consider what is the objective of battle and what is the value of sacrifice. To fight because there is a fight to be had but not to consider the trade off in engaging in the attrition of war is a Beserker’s calling.
For those of us who have something to lose, this does not seem like the way.
Don’t get me wrong. I will not go gently into the night as a sheep to the slaughter but I also will not ruin my present, my relationships, my sunny days for the clouds in the forecast and the whispers of the darkness to come.
May my strength be a source for holding dearly the love and life I have now for as long as possible.
I will continue to build resilience that will serve me if the time comes when the Great Reset, or any other iteration of dystopia truly manifests itself but I will not spend this time in fear or anger. I did so for too long. I will prepare and if the day never comes, I will still be better for it - in health, happiness, security, self-reliance, and more.
While I am proud of not succumbing to the social pressures and insanity of the pandemic psyop, I was robbed of joy for too long. Perhaps this was part of the psyop but I will take responsibility for letting it happen to me. It won’t happen again.
Are you ready to build for the future? Or, are you focused on the fight?
Do you have another perspective? Please share.
P.S. If you are Canadian or know some Canadians, please watch this and act accordingly. Thank you!
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