Fighting A Spirit of Discouragement: Part I
A Personal Encounter with a Spirit of Discouragement
Season of Reflection
In the days leading up to Easter, I always try to reflect on the significance of this holiday as a follower of Christ. Sadly, for too many years, I let this time go by without much thought of what it meant in regard to the foundation of our faith.
Today on Good Friday, I find myself thinking especially about what the disciples must have felt on this day. While this holiday should be viewed as one offering the ultimate hope to those of who follow Christ - after all, Easter is why we have the opportunity and promise of eternal salvation - I can’t help but think about the disappointment and hopelessness that must have been felt prior to the resurrection.
The level of discouragement must have been overwhelming for those who had finally found their hope in Jesus Christ.
Just think about it for a moment - creation had waited around 4,000 years for the birth of the Messiah. Prior to the birth of Christ, there had been a period of 400 years that Bible scholars refer to as the “400 Years of Silence” where we have no record of communication between man and God. I honestly cannot fathom the darkness that must have existed during those silent years before the Light made His way to earth.
When viewed from this perspective, I think one can better understand why the presence of Jesus on earth was such a big deal to those who had been waiting faithfully.
Finally, the answer to their prayers had arrived! And yet so many were skeptical, refusing to believe that Jesus was the Promised One.
For those who did follow Jesus, though, his presence surely must have dawned like the arrival of a warm and radiant sun after a long, frosty winter had numbed the soul. And yet, His physical presence on this earth seems so short when viewed in light of eternity.
According to scripture, we understand that Jesus’ public ministry was only about three years long. For a people who had been waiting for centuries for the Messiah, His earthly tenure likely felt as brief as the flicker of a candle flame amidst the vast darkness of history, especially when it appeared as though His flame had been extinguished in a single day’s tragic event.
And that brings us back to Good Friday. I can only imagine what the disciples must have felt once Jesus gave up His spirit, succumbing to the brutal crucifixion.
Even though the Old Testament scriptures had foretold what was to come for centuries, and Jesus himself tried to prepare his followers for what would happen, there still must have been such fear, confusion, disappointment, and a crushing discouragement that felt like all hope was gone.
Why Write About Discouragement Now?
Some may question my decision to write about discouragement when we're just a couple of days away from celebrating arguably the most profound symbol of Christian hope, Easter Sunday.
Well, to be transparent, discouragement has been a big topic of conversation in our household for the past few weeks. I have felt for a while now that I was supposed to write on this subject, but every time I sat down to write something, I just felt stuck.
However, in this week leading up to one of the most significant holidays in the Christian faith, I finally felt as if I knew what I wanted to say on the matter. I hope you will join me in this three part series where we explore the topic of discouragement - specifically how to recognize a spirit of discouragement and then how to fight it with biblical Truth and Knowledge.
A Storm Brewing
About a month ago as I was trying to fall asleep, I wrestled with my mind as it refused to settle down and shut off for the night. Lying awake, I found myself reflecting on the events of the day and naturally thinking about all of the things that I needed to complete the next day.
What began as a simple mental to-do list of sorts quickly began to grow into something more ominous as one errant thought after another seemed to quickly gather like dark clouds on the horizon, foretelling the arrival of an impending storm of anxiety.
I am still not sure how the synapses of my mind went from one topic to another as quickly as it did.
All I know is that one minute I was innocuously thinking about what I could cook for dinner the next night, and in just the time it took me to inhale, I was suddenly engaged in a battle for my peace of mind.
Seemingly out of nowhere my thoughts began to race. I started to think about how leaving here to permanently move to Mozambique would impact my family, specifically my parents.
A despair from somewhere deep inside began to rise up, and I suddenly found it difficult to breathe. From there, I began to spiral pretty quickly.
What had started as an errant thought or two simply fluttering through my mind suddenly took on a life of its own. There was now a voice playing aloud in my mind, nearly audibly, as if someone was literally lying next to me whispering in my ear.
Lies from the Enemy
Anxious thoughts fired off one after the other like fiery darts targeting my sanity and peace.
How can you seriously rip your son away from his Nana and Papa? They are such a huge part of his life. This is going to destroy your parents, and it will all be your fault.
How are you going to make it financially? You can barely make ends meet right now, and yet you think it is a good idea to quit your jobs? What will you do for health insurance? What about your student loans?
What if something happens to your kids while you are overseas? What if they get sick? What if the terrorists move to the southern part of the country? If anything happens to your babies, their blood will be on your hands.
What if your husband leaves you? You will be all alone in a foreign country. You have no friends or family there. You will be isolated in your home without anyone else.
You will not have the means to travel back home whenever you like. What if something happens to your family stateside? You won’t be able to make it back home in time. You may not even be able to come back at all.
Your family will struggle there in such a remote area. You will live in poverty all the days in your life, never having a nice home or things. You will always have to rely on other people to support you. You will be a burden to everyone.
You don’t even speak the language. How are you going to minister to people? How could you possibly do any good in a remote area where you can’t even communicate with the people? God can’t use you there.
Are you sure you even heard from God in the first place? What if you are mistaken? Are you all really going to give up everything here because you think you heard the Lord? What if you are wrong? You will have nothing to come back to.
And it only got worse from there. My deepest fears and worries started to reveal themselves, no longer hidden.
Strangely, I didn't even recognize many of the thoughts as familiar fears. It was as though the doubts and panic had taken on a life of their own and were breeding one anxious thought after another.
By this point, I genuinely could not breathe. I was gasping for air, my sobs wracking my body and shaking the bed frame. I remember thinking at one point that it felt like I was literally drowning.
I could feel my throat closing in, and I suddenly saw myself being taken underwater, wave after wave crashing over me. I was fighting to come back up, but the thoughts were just coming too quickly to keep my head above water.
Deliverance
Just when I thought that there was no point in fighting anymore, a hand suddenly plunged into the darkness of the abyss I was sinking in and grabbed ahold of me.
Simultaneously, in the depths of my mind, I abruptly and distinctly heard the words: “This is a panic attack. These thoughts are in direct contradiction of what I have told you and spoken over you.”
And just like that, the power of the truth - Papa God’s Truth - cut through the darkness and began to take back control of first my soul, then my mind, and lastly, my body.
Finally able to think rationally again, I realized that what I had just experienced was a direct attack from the enemy. More specifically, I felt the Lord tell me that what I just encountered was a spirit of discouragement.
A Familiar Encounter
About a week later, my husband was quietly sitting on the couch after dinner. I could tell that he was struggling with something, so I asked what was wrong.
A look of anguish on his face, he said, “I feel like I am literally going crazy. There is so much on my mind, and it just will not stop.”
Immediately, I felt as if the Lord showed me that he was facing the same spirit of discouragement that I had battled just a few nights earlier.
I called it out for what it was - a spiritual attack - and began to pray over him, over us, our family, and over the dreams and visions that the Lord had given us for this next season of our lives.
I confided in a couple of our spiritual mentors, including our pastors, and felt confirmation that we were, indeed, battling a spirit of discouragement in our home.
Perplexed by the encounter, I was compelled to turn to scripture to learn more about the biblical interpretation of discouragement - specifically how to recognize it, why it might occur, and what we can do to fight against it. And after digging into God’s word, I knew that I needed to share with others what I had found.
End of Part I
I hope you will come back tomorrow to read what scripture has to say about discouragement as we delve further into this topic from a biblical perspective.
As always, I pray that the Lord blesses you greatly and that you forever look to Him as your personal guide and Savior as we all continue to travel between two worlds. 🤎