Man who sat out war declares war on those who didn't
"People say, ‘Oh, they risked their lives, they served their country.’ But did they ever have to convince a medical doctor to write a note? I don’t think so."
“How is your meditation practice going?” my instructor, Shunyamala asked.
I enrolled in a 4-week group meditation class focused on the topic of Mindfulness of Breathing.
Inhale, filling my lungs all the way down my diaphragm and into my belly. Exhale, acknowledging the passing breath with a count. One.
Inhale, my shoulders rise as I try to breathe in deeply — pushing past the tension in my chest. Exhale, feeling the tension release as I slowly let go — it feels good to let go. Two.
I repeat the process of accepting the in-breath and paying gratitude on the out-breath until I reached the count of 10 — if I reach the count of 10.
Sometimes, I don’t reach 10.
Sometimes, I get to the fifth count and my mind suddenly wanders. I start thinking about what I will have for dinner or the text messages I haven’t replied to yet. Sometimes, my mind wanders to a happy place where I am reminiscing about a sweet time with a loved one. Sometimes, my mind travels to a dark place and it can be difficult to find myself again.
When I notice my mind wandering, I usually channel my inner Homer Simpson and mentally exclaim, “D’oh!” A few foolish D’ohs can quickly turn into frustration and I realize the immense pressure I place on myself from home and work even carries over into my meditation practice. I was being extremely hard on myself.
When I tell Shunyamala this, she smiles and replies, “That’s what minds do, they wander. When you notice it, gently welcome it back.”
That’s when I discovered my mind is a butterfly. Would I scream at a butterfly to stop flying away? I mean, yeah, I could. Would it stop flying away? Not at all.
Stillness is when a butterfly decides to linger at a flower a little bit longer than usual. The flower it lingers on is you. Acceptance is appreciating its presence delicately, gently, and kindly without yearning to control or influence it. As it floats visiting other nearby flowers — as butterflies naturally do — it also returns. And when it does, I smile and acknowledge, “Hey, there you are again.” And, I begin to count again. If I misplace my count, I simply start over at One.
During one of my hikes, this beautiful Tiger Swallowtail stayed with me for over 15 minutes. Or rather, I stayed with it.
