Masking and unmasking is not binary
"To ‘unmask’ means ‘to reveal the true nature of’. Does that mean that I have been hiding my true nature? Does that mean that my masked self is not my true self?"
Hello fellow human,
I’ve been thinking about unmasking this week. To ‘unmask’ means ‘to reveal the true nature of’. Does that mean that I have been hiding my true nature? Does that mean that my masked self is not my true self?
Naturally, being autistic, I like definitions. I like clarity. But the more I delve into this unmasking journey the more I think that taking the word ‘unmasking’ too literally can contribute to low self-esteem.
Everyone masks to some degree. My husband, who is neurotypical, masks in his office job. The difference is that neurodivergent people who mask tend to mask to a greater extent and more frequently, with the negative impact on our health being greater. In fact, other than when I was home alone in my room I was very rarely ‘unmasked’ anywhere else until after I burned out, discovered I am autistic, and went through a period of being physically unable to mask.
But when we talk about ‘unmasking’ it’s easy to picture someone literally taking off a mask and choosing to put it down. In reality, it’s not that simple. When you lead your life believing that your masked self is your ‘true nature’ (even if flawed, as I know many of us came to believe), and then one day you see everything from a different perspective, the process of shifting between the mask and the unmasked versions of ourselves is not simple.
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