I Want a Doctor Who’s Good at Pretending
I want a doctor who’s good at pretending. I want a doctor who’s willing to lie. I want a doctor who’s not above sending Me home with the certainty I’ll never die. I want a doctor who won’t tell me things like, “PSA doesn’t matter at your advanced age.” I want a doctor in whom my EKG spike Sparks histrionic expressions of rage. I want a doctor to whom living forever Is a real possibility for one such as I. I want a doctor so incredibly clever That he can convince me I’ll never die. I want a doctor who looks at my history And sees that my ancestors all passed away. I want him to say, “Gadzooks! That’s a mystery, Given that you will live infinite days.” I want a doctor who thinks of cancer As a minor ailment to be cured with a pill. When he runs tests I want every answer To be that I’m healthy, not that I’m ill. If someday, somehow, my life winds up ending Because of the facts my good doctor denies, I hope at my service he goes on pretending That my death was, to him, a stunning surprise.
This poem first appeared in the AWC Awarded Writers’ Collection 2023.