When still enough to consider the works of His hands we will see anew the ways the Lord has been shaping our entire lives.
During my final years of college, I gave my life to Christ. In the years since I’ve tried to live in a way to demonstrate the hope I have in Jesus. Of course I fall short every day. However, in addition to attempting to live worthily in the present, I’ve found it useful to look into my past to see how God was present yet not perceived. Seeking and finding God in your past, I find, stabilizes the assurance of His faithfulness1.
What’s become increasingly clear on reflection is the significant role my grandfather, Pawpaw, played in planting seeds that would ultimately grow me closer to Christ. As I’ve mentioned before, much of my recent thinking has been brought on by the incredible podcast The Lord of Spirits. In the episode, “World of Priestcraft,” Fr. Andrew Stephen Damick and Fr. Stephen De Young discuss the role of a lowercase-p priest and how priests are to function as a true form of masculinity in the world. To paraphrase, the role of all is to be a lowercase-p priest at every level of life. To be a priest in this sense means you take what you are responsible for – family, friends, house, land, work, etc. – and present it to God. In turn you are supposed to come back to your world and represent God to what you are responsible for. After diving into Genesis 1, the fathers expand on the notion of priesthood and Adam as the original priest.
Fr. Stephen: …if we want to give sort of the quick definition, then, of what a priest is, starting with Adam, the priest represents God to the rest of—to other humans, and, really, to the whole creation: represents God to the creation in that, like Adam, putting things in order, filling them with life, participating in the ongoing work of God in the world.
Fr. Stephen: He is sort of a conduit that runs in both directions, and so this is—because this is a way of relating to the world and a way of being in relationship to God in the world, this is really an element of what we call human nature.
This is not meant to diminish the role of women in any way within the church. But as God created men and women differently it can be understood that men and women also function differently at various levels. Not that one is better than another, only the understanding that men and women are necessarily different and truly need to cooperate. I am certainly not well versed enough theologically to make arguments about how women should or should not serve but as a man, I assume some small qualification to speak on masculinity (or lack thereof) in our culture.
That being said, the fathers did touch on this a bit in the episode and it’s certainly worth your time to listen. There is also a transcript of the episode here if you’d like to read the content instead.
Moving forward on the idea of a priest, it is with joy now I realize how blessed I was to have a priestly grandfather in Herman Brown. Make no mistake, I’m not saying Pawpaw was perfect, but his life was evident of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. But how did he act as a priest? First, how did he present his world to God? In practice and prayer, he took what he was responsible for and tended it well. He taught me that if I have been given, or volunteered for, any sort of task it is my responsibility to do it to the best of my ability. That too goes for work no one will ever see you do. As one of 12 children (many of whom were older and less mobile) and deacon to his church, Pawpaw had no shortage of projects. So while my retired grandfather was providing my single-mother free childcare for her twin boys over the summer, he was also demonstrating for us what it is to work as unto the Lord (Colossians 3:23-24). If a strip of grass remained uncut by the novice lawn mower-driver, he would make sure I returned to the area to finish the job. If a portion of the church fellowship hall was not swept or mopped suitably, he would guide me back to the dust to instruct me in completing our work. And if the baptismal pool needed replumbing, all other summertime fun was on hold until the leaks were fixed and the sanctuary was back in proper order.
But it wasn’t just manual labor. We often visited family and church members who were homebound, in assisted living, or living alone. It was so much more than dropping by to say ‘hope you’re well.” No no. We spent time with them. We talked to them. We shared meals with them. We sat or walked with them. Or sometimes, we said nothing at all. As these friends and family began to leave this word sometimes our presence next to the still quiet bed was enough. And though in retrospect I can see we were serving them, their impact on me shapes my life to this day. As a true servant, Pawpaw spent every day taking his lot and doing his absolute best to leave it (or them) better than he found it. In lifting up all he cared for, he lovingly offered back to God what had been given him.
Now, how did he represent God to the world? Let’s go back to manual labor. There were countless instances of correction done on Pawpaw’s part. This is no surprise. You simply can’t (or shouldn’t) expect a seven or eight-year-old to know exactly what to do when running a Shop Vac to dry a flooded basement. And you can’t expect perfection when you hand a child hedge clippers to improve someone’s yard. But correction never came with condemnation. I can’t recall one single time Pawpaw lost his patience or became some furious tyrant. Any correction he offered was gentle and encouraging. Like our loving Father, Pawpaw offered grace and understanding when things didn’t go as planned.
Of course, not all moments with Pawpaw were exactly peaceful. There were moments of discipline as necessary when charged with caring for children. I don’t recall any specific instances but I’m sure my brother and I threw a ball in the house, or damaged something, or simply disregarded an instruction or request. But in representing God to us, he was slow to anger. It basically took repeated deliberate disobedience on our parts before any firm reprimand. While I can’t bring to mind any specific examples of testing Pawpaw’s patience, I do remember “the look”. “The look” was your warning. It was his way of communicating to us that we were skating on thin ice and we needn’t test the waters any further. I don’t know what you call “the look” when it comes from God. Maybe it’s simply time or the allowance of an unfortunate event. Who knows? But Pawpaw’s look was the signal that whatever we were up to was not acceptable and we’d better take note of the rebuke and change our ways. Any Christian still breathing knows God loves us even more patiently than this. God gives us opportunity after opportunity to change and align our living with His nature. Just as Pawpaw never used force to bring change to my behavior, God will always allow us a choice to follow His ways or not. As I’ve noted before, compulsion is not love. Love must be participated in voluntarily.
Now what about outside of Pawpaw’s direct action with his grandboys? How did he represent God to those others he served? To my mother, he offered grace and forgiveness. My mother told me of being fearful of Pawpaw’s reaction to learning of her pregnancy. We can all imagine the situation. A single divorced woman turns to her Southern Baptist-deacon father to tell him she’s pregnant with twins. Not only this but it is my understanding the two hadn’t spoken much in the previous years after Pawpaw's wife passed away unexpectedly. I’ve been told he understandably didn’t take the news well at first. But after a little time and wise words from his sister, not only did Pawpaw and my mother reconcile their relationship, but he offered her a home. The first few years of my life were spent living under Pawpaw’s roof while he helped my mom look after her babies and save some money in the process. If an earthly father knows how to live so graciously, how much more grace does God offer us if only we truly turn to Him in times of trouble.
Outside of family, there were countless church members or friends would tell me what a good man I had for a grandfather. Many people relayed the message that he’d give them the shirt off of his back if they needed it. And I knew by the way he lived that was true.
For all he did, there was one thing he didn’t do that stands out more and more as time goes on. I never once heard him boast. He was not a rude man and would accept thanks for his work, but he was humble enough to praise God for his ability to help in the first place. I remember him accepting a “thank you” and responding, “You’re welcome. Let me know what else I can do.” Humility was not a virtue he simply spoke but served as his way of life.
Herman Brown passed away a few days before Christmas in 2009. He was a man amongst men. He was strong and steady. He was kind and compassionate. He was not afraid to discipline or offer gentle correction when necessary. Pawpaw cared deeply for those around him and made the effort to show the utmost respect to all. But above all this, Herman was a man who sought Christ with his being. Pawpaw presented his life to God, joyfully working as unto the Lord in whatever task was given him. He constantly gave thanks for his family, community and church and prayed continuously for those he cared about. He told my mother once that he would sometimes cry in happiness when he thought about his family. In return, Pawpaw presented God to the world as a humble servant, blessed in all he had because it had been given to him by God. He led a life worth imitating because his example pointed to Jesus. Praise God for the men who lift up their families. Praise God that He used Pawpaw to work in my life from the very beginning. Thank God that He sent my pawpaw to be a priest.
I would be remiss to not take some time now to discuss how men today, myself included, could strive to be priests.
First, physically go to your church and serve. This is a bit ironic coming from someone who is “homeless” in a church sense. If you’re a regular subscriber you’ll know that my wife and I have recently left our home church. But unexpected things happen and you’ve got to roll with the punches. That being said, we believe in being active members of the body you’re a part of. While “online worship” can be a useful tool to connect homebound members or even reach people not even looking for Christ, it should usually only serve as the starting point. There is something holy that happens when believers physically gather together, sing together and break bread together. In an increasingly hostile digital world, perhaps the best defense we have as Christians is the act of meeting in person to profess the glory and goodness of the one true God while serving each other in the process. And leave your phone at home while you do so.
Second, if you claim to be a Christian and are actually a father to a child, act like it2. You are called to be the leader of your house. Like it or not, it is your duty to get your house in order. Do not wait for your wife to ask you to help with the everyday tasks of keeping up a house. Try to observe and see what you can take on to make your home a better place. If you are needed to do the dishes, do the dishes. If you are needed to do the laundry, do the laundry. If you need to find a way to entertain your child while also cooking dinner for your family, find a way to get it done in peace. Not necessarily quietly, but in good spirits. There is no task beneath you if it will uplift your family.
To add to this, if you are a father who does not work from home, try to master the act of coming home. I’ll be so bold as to say there is no acceptable situation where a man comes home to his family and does anything other than embrace his family when he arrives. If the first thing you do is throw down your work and pick up your video game console, there is a problem. If you walk in the door without looking at your wife or child because you are glued to your phone, there is a problem. If you can’t watch your child play outside without checking your email or social media, there is a problem. I know there are exceptional situations but it’s up to you to not allow the exception to become the norm.
Third, be a better friend and neighbor. If you have local friends you’ve not seen in a while take a moment to send a text, call or letter. Don’t discount the power of a letter3. And don’t let it stop there. Start a conversation that must be continued in person, and work at setting up a time to reconnect in person. Too many studies have shown how lonely modern men are. But while loneliness is almost certainly a product of our own design, we also have the ability to change it. We only have to be willing to take the first uncomfortable step to say, “Hey, what’s up?”
How might we be better neighbors? Do you grow vegetables while your neighbors raise chickens? Perhaps you could work together on more crops or a bigger flock. If you’re in a smaller town, you’ll likely find that you and your neighbors share mutual friends who you can invite to join your activities. Maybe you know an elderly neighbor living alone who would probably enjoy a front porch visit. Or maybe you have kids and you notice your neighbors do as well. Invite them over for a playdate and just watch as the children find some incredible way to connect with each other.
Finally, whatever job you get paid for and whatever task you voluntarily take on, try your best to remember that it is Christ you are serving. This is obviously not my original idea. Again, see Colossians 3:23-24. As heirs of God, we are Christ’s representatives to the world. If we claim his name, how can we take ourselves to work only to berate our boss behind their back? How can we gossip about a coworker knowing that what is done in the dark will be brought to the light? How can we mock a customer while we claim to serve a Creator who made us all in His image? We will all fail at this, but I know our world would be much better off if more of us at least tried to remember whom it is we work for.
Of course God’s faithfulness is not in question. It is only to say our understanding of his faithfulness needs this assurance.
The actions (or inactions) of dads actually spurred my very first post on Substack. If you’re interested at all, go back and take a look.
Take the time to read this essay by
. I’ve not written my first letter since reading this but I have every intention of doing so soon.
Wow, Derek. Wonderful story. Loved every word of this. Made me realize how much I've fallen short in some of these areas. Will probably reread this many times. What an impact your grandfather made on so many, just be being faithful to his calling.
My new mantra is, "Be like PawPaw."
I keep seeing this idea pop up and I love it.
There's a couple different kinds of priesthood we can understand from scripture.
There's the Adamic priesthood--we as men are priests and shepherds just *as men*, and especially in the context of family.
There's the Levitical priesthood--the house of Levi being the house from which the only priests of the hebrews could be derived.
Then there's the new covenant priesthood, which has its own distinct features.
Anyway, I'm not an expert in all that, you're just tapping into something that resonates. Priests offer the sacrifice, priests tend the sheep, priests provide for spiritual and temporal necessities. Priests *live differently*.
The world needs more Priestly Men (in addition to more men who are preists!). Priestly men in our lives ALWAYS leave an outsized impact because intentionally or not they are channeling Christ through their lives and it shows.
God bless your Pawpaw, God bless you! What a great reflection for Fathers Day!