As a person who lives life ebbing and flowing with the tides of chronic depression, I am no stranger to pessimism and doom. I’m also viscerally familiar with the icky shame and frustration that sprouts from pressure to convince myself that “actually, it’s not that bad” or “it could be worse” and other glass-half-full attempted reframes for my natural thinking patterns born out of a lived reality. I’m therefore pretty wary of the idea that keeping a kind of conventional, psychotherapist-prescribed “gratitude list” will somehow treat my misery. So, I came up with something else instead.
If I was tasked with crediting just two people I’ve never even met for my fascination with searching for beauty, they would certainly be Andrea Gibson, who wrote the poem Things That Don’t Suck, and Ross Gay, author of The Book of Delights: Essays. (Both of which I would recommend to any human anywhere, by the way!) Both Gibson and Gay’s work captivates the miraculous in the mundane; shining glimmers that surround us whether we pay them any attention or not. I found this chronicling of goodness to be something I could do in my own life. Not in a “write down three things I’m thankful for to guilt me into gratefulness and rid my brain of “disordered” negative thinking” kind of way. As I mentioned before, I’m pretty sick of trying to adopt that kind of attitude. Frankly, it doesn’t work very well, especially when prescribed or forced. Rather, I think of that spotting these instances of sweetness and joy in my everyday life as little invitations to relish in what I love.
I created a photo album on my phone to collect evidence of these loves. (They even have a dedicated Instagram account, if you’re curious.) I call them Big Little Good Things because they can be massive in size or importance, or they can be tiny and fleeting. No matter their size, I treasure my Big Little Good Things.
The vital force of collecting these objects, moments, and feelings is that it is a self-directed project. When I am in the throws of a depressive mood, I will not force myself out of bed to my desk to make a fraught list of three things I like about being alive. Instead, I might just scroll through the photo album on my phone for reminders that beautiful things exist, even when I feel bad. Big Little Good Things do not exist to coerce or trick me into not feeling the way that I do, but they will be waiting for me on the other side, on another day, or just around the next corner. Here are a few of my favorite Big Little Good Things:
Blue raspberry soda. Flapping my hands when I’m happy. Best friends. Pen pal letters. Being shirtless on the beach and feeling the wind on my chest. Outer space. Street art. Roasting marshmallows. Spotting Mount Tahoma from the window of an airplane. Really soft blankets. Independent book stores. Sunrises. Sunsets. Bubble wrap. Fried Oreos. Sun showers. Rainbows. Bounce houses. Nature documentaries. GameBoy Tetris. Pop Rocks candy. Fidget cubes. Pumpkin patches. Birthday cake. Artist journals. The squeaky noise my cat makes when he yawns. That first gulp of cold water you swallow when you’re really thirsty. Audiobooks. The way the ripples on the surface of water catch glints of sunlight. TikTok skits that make me giggle. Movies shot on film. Winnie the Pooh. Weighted blankets. LEGO sets. Tiny artwork. Caramel lattes with lots of rich foam. Cassette tapes. Starling murmurations. Mangos. Polaroid pictures. Big Little Good Things.
Thanks for reading. I hope you notice a Big Little Good Thing or two in your own life today.