The Sweetness of Doing Nothing In Order to Succeed
The only thing I took away from 'Eat Pray Love' was Julia Roberts learning “dolce far niente”
In Italian dolce far niente translates to the sweetness of doing nothing. In theory it is the ability to completely enjoy and savor a moment. The Italians invented this concept of how they live their everyday life. And if you have traveled to Italy, any part of it, or live there, then you have witnessed what dolce far niente looks like and envied it.
It is sitting in random streets at a cafe table, sipping on espresso and watching people go by. It is stopping to have conversations with friends and acquaintances without having to look at a smartphone, much less your watch. Time can stand still, because Italians can appreciate the preciousness of it. See, we all have this perception of time wrong, completely and utterly wrong. We live by minutes and days, and not moments. I can only speak for Americans, in that we depreciate time and let moments pass us by, whereas Italians simply value it.
The notion of doing nothing can be interpreted as being lazy. And the act of laziness tends to imply that you have no goals or tasks to achieve. Well, I think it all depends on who is doing nothing and how they are doing it.
Being lazy can be a part of being productive. The only way to recognize that is to rid yourself of the guilt of being lazy, having that one day of doing absolutely nothing. Once you can understand and believe that you deserve to enjoy the sweetness of life, that is part of being successful. It’s just that nobody (at least in America) ever talks about it.
Saturday is the one day of the week where I relish in doing absolutely nothing. My one true lazy day. I stay off of social media (although somtimes I’ll do a quick search on TikTok for a weekend dinner recipe). When I say nothing, it is zero work, freelance or otherwise. Instead I do stuff. I get lost in things. I grocery shop without a time deadline. I take longer walks with my dog. I nap. I catch up on my watch lists on various streaming platforms. I shop for skincare. I meet a friend for mid-morning matcha or afternoon pastries and deep conversations. I try to finish a book. I go down YouTube rabbit holes (I don’t count that as social media, it sometimes has better custom programming than most streaming series). Nothing of importance is done on Saturday. I try my best to keep Saturday as stress-free as possible. Emails are left unread and unanswered on Saturdays. On a few occasions I’ve laid in bed with no music or TV on and just stared at the ceiling. At the most this took up half an hour, but I enjoyed the silence and swimming in my own thoughts. I scheme out my plans, *manifesting deeply the goals I have already achieved. It felt like dreaming with my eyes open.
*Side note: manifesting is not about wishing for things, but rather admitting that it has already happened. Delusion at best, but that is the core of manifestation. Anyway, maybe that’s for a future newsletter.
I want to succeed in creating something of longevity, not just of a trend that people will forget in two years or less. Not in it for the short haul, but for the longer journey that will allow my skills and mind to expand and grow. I suppose that’s the difference between creative types and other people.
I briefly dated a tech bro (no more than 3 dates), and learned that what was sufficiently going to make this guy happy was an invention of the next big thing. That was his world, and it was go go go all the time. The next big thing sounds like a fake timeshare scam. The kind boomers buy into only to realize that their retirement savings is now obsolete. In a nutshell, almost like a sci-fi existential dream, that’s what I think of Silicon Valley as a whole. But I never voiced that to my tech bro, imagine the baffled state it would put him in, he comes from an inner sanctum where quilted vests and a Sweetgreen salad affords him a ticket to a short-term paradise. His category of success just wasn’t my cup of salad dressing.
My lazy Saturdays has afforded me time to myself and call that self care if you will, but for me it really is a vital part of productivity. The hustle no longer works for me if I want to build something of value.
The real great thing about having a lazy Saturday is that I don’t have the Sunday Scaries. I look forward to what I call Sunday Aesthetics, where I am still thriving at a slow pace with hints of leftover sweetness from a Saturday of doing nothing. I am recharged come Monday morning, rekindled with my to-do list and aspirational feats. And I am reminded how lucky I am to do things that I love and feel passionate about.
There is no guilt in doing nothing as long as it leads you to do things that give you pleasure. Dolce far niente will be the true secret to my success.
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