Dear Lily
My friend's 10-year-old daughter sent me five brilliant questions about being a writer. Here's a slightly longer version of my answers, dedicated to Lily Thorpe.
Dear Lily,
Thank you so much for your questions. It’s lovely to hear you’re interested in writing and want to know about life as an author.
First, though, I’d like to share with you the one thing that’s helped me more than any writing qualification, any writing experience or any teacher or mentor:
Curiosity.
When we feel curious, we focus on what we’re interested in. We’re less distracted by our fears (“What if this isn’t any good?” etc). We’re focused on what is possible, what is interesting, what we want to explore. That’s when we create what only we can.
Everything I’m going to say to you in some ways comes back to staying curious. (So if these answers are a bit long, feel free to jump to number five, The Pizza of Life, which is a game or tool for exactly that: staying curious!)
1. How did you become a writer?
One of my earliest memories of being at home with my mum and grandparents is of making tiny books. I’d illustrate them myself (although my mum would staple the pages together for me), and the stories would usually involve characters I loved from books or TV programmes. In a way, I suppose I was writing fan fiction! The other thing I did when I was very little was tell myself what I called ‘quiet stories’ before I went to sleep. I didn’t think of myself as a writer, but everything I loved involved stories even then.
A big part of becoming a writer is getting past the things that discourage you from becoming a writer. When I was thirteen, a visiting author at my school kept in touch with me after her visit. Years later, she told me the teacher who’d invited her to speak to us had said to her “Rachel can’t be a writer” because of my dyslexia and dyspraxia. The author knew that wasn’t true – which showed me that when someone says you “can’t” or “won’t” succeed at something, it’s more to do with their own fears or regrets about not trying themselves than to anything do with you. So keep writing!
My first published articles were around the same time as this author’s school visit. I wrote to a Beatles fan magazine and they accepted my article about why I loved Paul McCartney (I still do!). I also had a short story published in the school magazine. I learned then you had to be brave enough to submit your writing and that it feels great when readers tell you they enjoyed your pieces: I even made a friend when a fellow Beatles fan wrote to me through the magazine so that was an early, very happy experience of connecting with readers!
In short:
We become writers by disobeying the voices telling us we can’t – including our own fear!
2. Did you have to study to become a writer?
After my A-Levels I did an English Literature BA, not because you need one to become a writer but because I truly loved literature and reading. I went on to a Creative Writing MA and a Creative Writing PhD. I’m now a visiting lecturer at the university where I did my BA twenty years ago! Best of all, though, I took a PGCert in Business and Personal Coaching. This means I support writers and speakers to build creative confidence: to strengthen their focus and curiosity, and to make the art and lives they want instead of being limited by what they fear. It’s the best training for being a writer, and being a writer is the best training for being yourself!
Although you don’t need qualifications to become a writer, if you love what you’re studying there is no greater pleasure in the world. My youngest writing coaching client is seven years old and my oldest is in her eighties and the joy and confidence they develop through studying writing is an absolute joy to be part of.
So while you don’t have to study, if you have the chance to (and the curiosity) then it’s a wonderful thing. It certainly has been wonderful for me, not because it directly led to the published books, stories and articles but because it helped me get to know myself better. And that’s what keeps on improving our writing.
In short:
You don’t have to study to be a writer – but the more you read what you love, the richer, deeper and stronger your writing will be.
3. What made you want to be a writer?
I’m fascinated by stories because I’m fascinated by people: why we do the things we do, our behaviour patterns, what we want, what we fear. All of that has always been really interesting to me. In fact, writing this to you has made me remember that during an early relationship nearing its end, my boyfriend of the time said, “You’re always saying you want to understand all the time!” He didn’t see the point of that at all, but twenty or so years later it’s a great summary of why I do what I do (as a writer and as a coach). The more we understand what we want and what we fear as characters, the more we can begin making the best choices for ourselves.
Perhaps the most magical thing about being a writer is is this: we can never truly know what it’s like to be someone else, but by taking the time to understand how someone else thinks as best we can, we get to explore other stories than our own. And we get to enjoy the differences rather than being scared by them. That’s why imagination is such an important life skill: it makes us kinder.
In short:
Writing stories and creating characters is how we connect with people. It helps us understand the world and our place in it. Imagination about each other makes us kinder to each other.
4. What is the hardest thing about becoming a writer?
The hardest thing about becoming a writer is also the most important thing about it: there’s no one else in time and space who can ever do what you do, be the writer you are.
You have a unique artist’s palette of imagination, memory, observation, questions about the world. You need to practise spotting when you’re blocking yourself, and we usually block ourselves by focusing on how good we think it might be when it’s finished, rather than getting it out of our head and on to a page.
Even though you’re absolutely unique, you’ll need to keep developing. The rejections will come, but so will be the useful tips: when readers tell you what moved them, what interested them, what they were convinced by and what they weren’t. Feedback isn’t instructions, only you decide what to do with it, but if you stay curious about your idea and use the feedback to shape it then it will become more and more itself. And when it’s ready, it will find its place in the world.
In short:
Stay curious, keep writing, keep developing. It all gets better, all the time.
5. What advice would you give to a young person wanting to be a writer?
The best writing advice isn’t about writing. It’s about the creative confidence, and the curiosity, beneath it.
That’s why the advice I’m giving you today is a game called The Pizza of Life. It’s based on a coaching tool I first discovered through Barefoot Coaching founder Kim Morgan, which I developed for my clients (so it doesn’t matter how old the writer is – like I said, my youngest are in primary school and my oldest are in their eighties!):
The Pizza of Life
1. Draw a big circle in the middle of your page. You don’t have to be neat and you don’t have to be tidy. Just give yourself lots of space.
2. Divide your circle into ‘pizza slices’. Write everything love, do, enjoy, etc, so all the things you love have their own slice. Everything is relevant – from your favourite sport or activity to your favourite food or drink.
3. Circle or underline the names of three of your slices. Don’t think about it, just pick three that call to you today.
4. Write a line or two about what you love and what interests you about each of of those three slices.
5. Now comes an ‘I dare you’… I dare you to write a list of all possible ‘markets’ for an article or essay about that thing. Your school magazine or class newsletter, your youth club noticeboard, your family fridge. No ‘market’ is too big or too small, too impossible or too easy. It’s all practise in getting your work out there and not being afraid to share your words.
6. Pick one… and write a nice email to the person who can make it happen! If some of them say no, that’s okay – send it to someone else! It’s not so much about getting over the fear as knowing the fear will always be there – and that’s okay. Listen to what it says, give a pat on the head and let it sit quietly beside you Be the reassuring friend it needs – and then keep writing.
Love,
Rachel x