Bonkers Boeing / Core Issues / NBC Fuck Up
Could be worse. We could all be corpses on Mt. Everest.
Good morning!
I’m under the weather, so this will be brief and hopefully not dull.
It’s a good thing I didn’t get that job in Boeing’s strategic communications department because dealing with this shitshow ($) ain’t worth the whiskey. Now is the time for the plane maker to cut ties with some of its top brass—CEO Dave Calhoun, CEO and President of Commercial Airplanes Stan Deal, and Larry Kellner, Chairman O’ the Board, have slid down the emergency slide to get off this crashing airplane manufacturer.
"President and CEO Dave Calhoun today announced his decision to step down as CEO at the end of 2024, and he will continue to lead Boeing through the year to complete the critical work underway to stabilize and position the company for the future," Boeing said in a statement. All this really means is he’s making sure his platinum parachute is fucking festooned with goodies, so he’ll never ever have to work again—but he will work again since big industry loves retreads (well, all industries, actually).
I have a suggestion for these captains of industry who find it necessary to constantly fuck over the companies they’ve been tasked with helping. See, Boeing was a tidy company, once upon a time, where quality soared (so to speak) and had proud employees who enjoyed working on technology that made a fucking difference in people’s lives. Then came some MBA hack from Wall Street who said to Boeing’s top brass, ‘Fuck R&D, let’s make more money! Here’s what you need to do..the bare fucking minimum to make planes safe. That way, you’ll save money.. and you need to save money in order to MAKE money. It’s quite the ruse, but it works! Now, pay me a billion dollars! Thanks!’
The funny thing is, this ruse isn’t sustainable. See every major American company for reference.
I hope Earth explodes tomorrow—and that could happen.
No, not gon’ happen, but do read on, please.
Turns out, the Earth’s core is LEAKING like a blown-out diaper.
There are these people called geochemists (I, too, thought that was a fake job, made up for movies by Michael Crichton), and one of their jobs is to study lava. You know, that super duper hot stuff that spews from the Earth’s core through these danger cones that sit on the land for all to see called VOLCANOS (and there are many undersea volcanos, but let’s not think of those too much since THEY FUCKING FREAK ME OUT!). Well, it turns out that these super smart geochemists have found that through their lava studies, the Earth’s core is LEAKING. And, what is even more disturbing is that these nerds are BAFFLED BY THIS DISCOVERY.
TO WIT: A geochemist at Woods Hole Oceanographic Institution, Forrest Horton went on to explain to VICE: “We know very little about Earth's core, other than that it exists. This makes studying the core both intriguing and frustrating.”
OH, I’m sorry, it’s INTRIGUING and FRUSTRATING?!? Really?? Y’all at CalTech and Woods Hole are just sitting back in your Aeron Chairs, stroking your ironic facial hair and having a chuckle over how intrigued and frustrated you are over the fact that the Earth’s core is LEAKING like a butt cyst?? Fuck me. (Also, Forrest Horton is a cool-ass name. It’s like his parents knew he was gonna be a scientist, so they gave him a very science-y science scientist name. Bravo.)
But wait…THERE’S MORE!
Though, Horton believes that research is far from over and that what his team found has created a whole new dynamic.
He said: “In many ways, our study raises more questions than it answers, so there is a lot of work to do.”
I SHOULD FUCKING HOPE SO.
Oh, and you dumb fucking skank, THAT’S NOT WHAT YOU SAID EARLIER! Former RNC Chair Ronna McDaniel has been hired by NBC News to do what, who knows.
MSNBC said, ‘Don’t bring that hot mess here!’ And NBC News said, ‘Mmkay.’ Morning Joe hosts Mika and Joe say that NBC should ‘reconsider’ hiring McDaniels. C’mon guys, y’all can do better than ‘reconsidering’—tell us how you really feel.
I mean, if they asked me, I’d say something like, ‘No. Dump her pasty ass. Let the Kochs hire her.’
And I’m going back to bed.
I noticed that some travel sites now list types of planes that you can check off as planes I will not fly on. Since Boeing and McDonnell Douglas were allowed to merge, there’s very little choice except f for Airbus. I’ll be checking. Oh and those CEOs, etc. at Boeing? They should be made to fly every day on a Boeing plane sitting by one of the door plugs. Let’s roll the dice with these fuckers.
John Oliver skewered Boeing pretty thoroughly on March 7, this year.
https://youtu.be/Q8oCilY4szc?si=KI75NxFgU0j428Hs