I get it, you’re feeling overwhelmed with your to do list. You feel as if you’re not enough. As if you didn’t do anything all day, yet you spend your time doing everything.
We need to shift our perspectives of what “being productive” means. What it means to do something vs not to do something.
If you spend your whole day caring for your children - is it correct to blame yourself for not doing anything?
NO!!
It becomes so obvious when writing it down, yet I fall for this cognitive bias constantly.
It’s as if my brain is wired for self-punishment and I’m tired of it. I don’t want to be a victim in a situation that I want to be in… I adore my children, I love to be a mom. But I don’t love to feel like I’m never enough.
This is a statement to stop sweating the small stuff
I now declare an end to an era and the beginning of a new one. Let’s stop to sweat over things that doesn’t matter. Focus on things that matters and for God’s sake: recognize all the hard work you put in.
The saying “nothing worth having comes easy” couldn’t be more true than for motherhood. It’s the hardest thing you’ll ever do, yet the most rewarding. Hang in there.
Love, Elin
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Hello from Montana, USA! I'm excited for you as you begin this new writing adventure! :) As a mom of two girls at the other end of the age spectrum--my youngest is 17 and oldest is going to be 20 in January! 🤯 --I want to applaud and encourage you in going against the grain. Part of what you're experiencing--your internal strife and self-blame for supposedly not getting "anything" done--is the result of having unwittingly absorbed our societies' views on what a "successful" woman is. I grew up in the 80's and 90's, where it was very much pushed on us females to do and be everything our male counterparts could do and be. Yet I wanted to be a stay-home mom, ever since I could remember. I went to college for an education since I wasn't assured of getting married or being able to stay home with my kids, but God blessed me with both. So it came as a shock when I became a mom and suddenly I was thinking, "Wait, I'm not JUST a mom. I'm more than that!" And for a time, I became resentful of the very thing I had wanted all my life, simply because I had subconsciously taken on what society had pushed at me for 26+ years of public schooling and movies and commercials and books and magazine articles, etc.
Society says women aren't enough if they're "just" mothers and homemakers, yet those are arguably the most important jobs a woman can have. Yes, it requires self-sacrifice and patience and compassion and more patience and more sacrifice, but we're better women for it--and our families are better for it. No, it doesn't come with an income, but I know from experience (and statistics show) that children would rather have the presence of their parents than fancy vacations and more "stuff" to pack into their bedrooms.
So continue following your God-given gut; He gives mothers amazing instincts and abilities, because we're fashioning the next generation; we're keeping these little human beings alive, who would get into all sorts of messes if we weren't there to guide them, love them, protect them. It's an unbelievable responsibility that seems overwhelming when you're in the toddler trenches. Being on the other side, I'll tell you (like every middle-aged woman told the younger-me) it IS amazing how fast the years go by. You won't regret giving of yourself during this season of life; life WILL continue for you after the toddler and grade-school years are done. 18 years seem like a lifetime (18 is when Americans typically graduate high school and head off to college) when we're holding infants in our arms, but in the grand scheme of life, it's short; and they're precious years.
May you be encouraged to keep plodding forward through the toddler trenches. Thankfully, we only have to deal with it one day at a time!
Blessings,
Laurie Germaine