Maybe discomfort is a good thing?
An exploration of seasonal discomfort to break out of life on autopilot and explore new internal places and realisations you didn't know existed.
Do you sometimes stop and ask yourself what you ate yesterday?
Do you always remember or does it take a minute before it returns?
More often than not, I have to go digging for the dinner menu in my memory bank.
Sometimes it’s with an ounce of panic “What’s happening to me? Am I becoming a gold fish?”.
The panic arises more strongly whenever I reflect on different childhood experiences.
I have an overall sensation that I had a good childhood. But it can be hard to remember what I did at a specific age. Nothing in particular stands out except the one time we moved when I was five or when my father fell ill the first time at 12. It just was what it was. A day at the time in the same place, largely at the same school (only exception was high school) with the same people, the same routines.
My panic mostly arises when discussing this with my husband who seems to have a very vivid collection of earlier memories. But in further exploration we both conclude that many of those vivid memories are attached to change and discomfort.
He moved many times. He changed schools (social setting) an even greater number of times. He got uprooted and replanted more times than he would’ve wanted, yet it profoundly impacted who he is today.
I sometimes wonder whether the idealized comfort that we strive so hard to achieve, is perhaps the very thing that makes things blend together?
If we never uproot the routinely systems, challenge the status quo or try something new, we will perhaps never expand our consciousness beyond an existence on autopilot?
I don’t mean that one has to go travel the world, move across continents or plunge oneself into the unknown (though I’ve done all those things as an adult). What I mean is that maybe discomfort, even at a smaller scale, is a good thing.
Have you ever faced a challenging and uncomfortable situation without appearing on the other side with new-gained wisdom and resilience?
Frankly, I don’t think it’s even possible. You just can’t gain new experiences and NOT learn from them…
It’s illusionary to think that we can escape discomfort altogether as it’s an inherent part of life.
Without it, we wouldn’t know or be able to fully appreciate and/or distinguish the highs from the lows.
Without it, we wouldn’t have the same energy to power through another obstacle in pursuit of more comfort (?!)
But what happens ones we reach the desired comfort level? Do we get complacent?
Yes. I think many people do out of fear of what would happen if they dare to challenge or change again.
It’s why most never throw themselves head first into a potentially uncomfortable creative life. It’s deemed “too insecure” to be considered a viable option.
I can’t help but find this last bit somewhat ironic in today’s financial reality. How can working on your own dreams, building your own assets and skills, be more insecure than to work on someone else’s dream from which you can get kicked out (if you were ever included) without any assets to your name more than the experience in a sentence on your CV…?
Too comfortable and you’re more prone to be ruled by fear than ambition, dreams and a problem solving mindset.
Maybe being challenged isn’t a bad thing. Maybe rocking the solid boat is the only way to not only get interesting stories to put in your backpack, but to also live a longer life (relatively speaking).
The more disruption and discomfort to your everyday, the more you’re forced to become aware of time passing and ground in the present to get through to the other side. And ones you’re out, back in comfort again, the cycle can start afresh with a new round of disruption, discomfort, healing, growth, enlightenment and lastly comfort (for as long as that season allows).
Behind the scenes:
Thank you
for bringing my attention to who just spent 3 days in total darkness and was generous enough to share his lessons with us. Kevin’s post is what inspired this responsive article as he questions the inevitable; Why would anyone go through such an uncomfortable experience?Well, if anything, it disrupts your autopilot mode and forces you to face yourself and your own existence. It makes you question your whereabouts and become aware of memory gaps caused by actions done, you guessed it, on autopilot.
So, maybe discomfort is actually a good thing?
Thank you for reading!
Elin, xx
Ps. Hope you enjoyed this reflective piece…
If you did, I’d love to hear your thoughts and experiences around discomfort and to live life on autopilot.
Do you consciously try to get out of your own way to disrupt the status quo or do you tend to take the safe route, you know, just in case?
Hi there, new here?
I’m Elin, Swedish (expat) artist and mother of two who have plunged into the unknown of Substack as a new writing home. Despite having 500k+ across mainstream social media platforms for my embroidery art, I decided to start afresh here. It’s hard, thrilling, heavy and joyful all in ones. Come and join me for the ride if you haven’t done so already! You can expect thought-provoking and poignant writing about creativity, life and soulful art business with a touch of motherhood.
You can also check out the how, why, who and what in the post below:
Thanks for your reflections, a very interesting question indeed and I enjoy the discussions in the comments. I’d say there are different ways to look at it, I like facing new challenges and discomfort frequently equals growth for me, but it’s by choice. On the other hand there are specific life hardships I’d prefer to have been spared from, but I didn’t have a choice. Some difficulties make you stronger and some difficulties give you a ptsd :)
In my life at least discomfort has been necessary for any kind of forward motion or growth. Forward motion requires traction, which needs friction. I’m still learning to embrace discomfort. Still not a fan of it, to be honest, but this is the way. And thank you for reading and sharing about my darkness retreat experience. I’m glad it was encouraging to you. 🙏🏼