It’s been awhile! I’m back with something different this time around.
Recently, I was tasked with a project that can be called a “remix” or “an original plagiarism.” The point of this is to use other people’s work and words to create your own piece of writing. I had some ideas about how to write a fictional monologue or diary entry or something else of that sort with quotes that I had saved through music, webweaves on tumblr, and the like. The actual assignment has ended up being more of an essay than a fictional piece or prose poetry, so I’ve had to pivot on that original idea. However, I didn’t want that piece to die, so I thought I could use it as content for my Substack! (especially considering that it’s been almost a month since I’ve posted)
The following piece is my fictional plagiarism, a sort of decent into madness and disenfranchisement with one’s religion. I thought it was an interesting way to work the variety of quotes that I’ve saved. There will be footnotes to give credit to the actual authors, especially since I’ve taken most lines verbatim from their source.
Act I: The Unwaivering Faith
I am looking for god1, that grandiose colossus2. Oh good god, hear me3. I surrender to be guided by your will, and I ask for nothing more4. That man up there drips goodness like a sweat5. God! I've been cold without you6. God knows I lost, I lied, I tried7. For you, god, there’s only love8. Man has nothing on you9. [You see it]; everything looks better from above10.
Act II: The Questioning of Faith
It was impossible for me to believe in the existence of heaven11. Was ever-after a wish, once upon a lie12? Jesus Christ, it hurts13. I talk to God, but the sky is empty14. Sometimes I think it’s getting better, and then it gets much worse. Is it just part of the process15? I am trying to get out of the flames16. [The fire consumes, endlessly, with an enduring hunger.] No rivers and no lakes can put the fire out17. [God either cannot, or will not.] Is god all good, or is god all powerful18? The world hurts God19. Or is it that god hurts the world?
Act III: The Separation from Faith
I wish to be so invisible that god forgets to kill me20. I want to cut the rope tied around my neck to pull me up to Heaven21. He would call me at the hour of my death22, rip apart my soul23, and say he saved me. The grace of the gods is a grace that comes by violence24. [I wish to be spared.] Holy water cannot help me now25; even hell is holy26. It’s tiresome knowing oneself evil always27. I don’t have much time left; I don’t want to waste it on God28. What is a god? What is not a god? And what is there in between29? I know that desire can make anything a god30. We can ask god: why did you allow all this? And the answer will be an echo, why did you allow all this31? What is in that emptiness where god would be32? I’ll betray him like a man33.
Thank you for reading! I hope you liked my collage-esque piece of fictional writing that is built almost entirely from the writing of poets, songwriters, authors, and so on. My footnotes are below. Anything I found online is linked, but I pulled quotes from quite a few book I already physically owned, which are not linked. There ended up being 33 in total! This piece was a bit of a challenge, but it was fun to produce.
Sylvia Plath, “Letter to a Purist” from Plath (published by Everyman’s Library Pocket Poets)
Anima Christi (prayer)
Prayer of Surrender
Jamie O’Neill, At Swim, Two Boys
Lana del Rey, “Salvatore” from the album Honeymoon
Lana del Rey, “God Knows I Tried” from the album Honeymoon
Lana del Rey, “Religion” from the album Honeymoon
Sylvia Plath, “Letter to a Purist” from Plath (published by Everyman’s Library Pocket Poets)
Lana del Rey, “Salvatore” from the album Honeymoon
Hadara Bar-Nadav, “A Brittle Heaven” from Lullaby (with Exit Sign)
Florence + The Machine, “Big God” from the album High as Hope
Sylvia Plath, The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath
Florence + The Machine, “Big God” from the album High as Hope
Ted Hughes, from an uncompleted poem dated May 1969, featured in Letters of Ted Hughes (via existential-celestial) (via https://tedhughesroosting.tumblr.com/)
Florence + The Machine, “Seven Devils” from the album Ceremonials
Loosely from a Neil Degrasse Tyson quote
Sylvia Plath, “Fever 103” from Plath (published by Everyman’s Library Pocket Poets)
Florence + The Machine, “Heaven is Here” from the album Dance Fever
Anima Christi (prayer)
Aiskhylos, from Agamemnon; translated by Anne Carson in An Oresteia (taken from tumblr https://www.tumblr.com/betraythestars/668129489358815233?source=share)
Florence + The Machine, “Seven Devils” from the album Ceremonials
Gregory Orr, from The Caged Owl; "Tin Cup" (taken from tumblr https://www.tumblr.com/betraythestars/678788560763142145?source=share)
Jamie O’Neill, At Swim, Two Boys
Albert Camus, The Outsider (taken from tumblr https://www.tumblr.com/betraythestars/667200738423914496/he-started-talking-to-me-about-god-again-but-i?source=share)
George Seferis, tr. by Edmund Keeley, Helen (taken from tumblr https://www.tumblr.com/betraythestars/667219184417210368?source=share)
Mark Doty, excerpt of The Death of Antinous (taken from tumblr https://www.tumblr.com/betraythestars/674453459456622592/longing-of-course-becomes-its-own-object-the?source=share)
Ilya Kaminsky, “A City Like a Guillotine Shivers on Its Way to the Neck”, Deaf Republic (taken from tumblr, https://www.tumblr.com/betraythestars/710791203283681280/soracities-ilya-kaminsky-a-city-like-a?source=share)
Anne Carson, The Paris Review (Fall 2004) (taken from tumblr https://www.tumblr.com/betraythestars/694029175983652864?source=share)
Mitski, “I’m Your Man” from the album The Land is Inhospitable and So are We
This was so well done and thought out! I love this style, it is something I have never seen before. So cool!!!!!
Wow what a cool piece! Such an interesting way to go about writing; it’s almost like sampling in music. So cool!