Find support
Getting support is one of the most important tools I have adopted into my life. But support… that can seem so abstract… What does that look like? Or what does that mean? I think it can mean many different things to each individual. There are several different ways to get support in our lives and if we seek out just one of these ways, it can make a big difference. Some kind of support is so key for us humans because we are social creatures; we seek connection and speaking our truth aloud gives us the connection we need. Read on for several support paths that can change your life:
Therapy: A few years ago I started seeing a therapist. I had gone to therapy quite a few times throughout the years but it never stuck. I don’t think I ever made it past a few weeks. When I went this last time, I was committed and I ended up finding someone I really clicked with. This is so important, because you want to feel comfortable telling this person EVERYTHING. Which is so hard. I had to keep reminding myself that this person wanted to help me…. it was her job and what she was trained to do. But being so vulnerable and raw was a big challenge. I went to her once a week for about 8 months. I really dug down deep and talked through all my past issues and how they were affecting me in my present life. I did all the things… crying, getting angry, crying, venting it all, crying, blaming, crying… you get the picture! When it came to the end I was really sad, but I just knew I was through with that portion of my support and felt really centered and good about how far I had come. Everyone’s needs for therapy looks different – Some people choose to go to therapy for life, some go for a set period, some only go when they are struggling – there is no right way! Do what fits you!
Get a life coach: About a year after I had finished therapy, I joined an online life coaching program called Life Coaching Scholars. This was so life changing for me. I got weekly one on one life coaching plus monthly topics with different online zoom groups you could join. It came with a work book and a bunch of other extras. This was so different from the therapy because life coaching is present and future focused, while therapy work is mostly past focused. This program helped me learn so much about emotional health, relationships, organizing my life, setting goals and so much more. After LCS I had a personal coach, and she would help me figure out strategies and ways to manage my feelings of social anxiety without the social lubricant of drinking. She helped me to look inward and see all that I had to offer – things that I had been dismissing for years. She was there to hear my story and help me to focus on my present goals. I cannot say enough about how much life coaching changed my life. It has helped me tremendously in becoming the best version of myself! A life coach can be a wonderful support system and like I said above, it is future focused and can help you sort through current life challenges, set goals, get mentally organized, build relationships – the list goes on! Plus, a lot of life coaches have a specific area that they specialize in – recovery, health, nutrition, fitness, weight loss, money management, life balance, work place wellness, mindset and goal setting, accountability, career, sexuality, women only, men only, business, health – there are so many! A life coach will help you figure out what you want out of life and help you get there!
Lean on your partner, family or friend: Leaning on our partners, family or a friend when we are struggling is a great way to get support. It may be hard at first to ask for emotional support but, more likely than not, the person you ask will want to help. We are a species, that by nature, wants to help! As I started to get myself mentally organized and emotionally healthier, I began to seek out support from my husband. I didn’t realize until I started improving my emotional health, that we weren’t as connected as I thought. I started opening up to him and sharing things I had previously kept pushed inside. He started sharing with me more and our communication with each other has really evolved. Most of the time, asking for support will build trust and strength in the relationship. Allowing them to support you will also open the door for them to lean on you when they are struggling. Sometimes all it takes is just a small crack to get that door to swing wide open.
Go online: Sometimes we just need some anonymity and going online allows just that. There are lots of online communities where we can seek support! Just like life coaching, there are so many communities and forums out there for people to reach out and talk or get advice. There are tons of social media platforms to choose from with groups geared towards specific shared goals or topics. This is one of the positives of social media! There are also online support programs geared towards lots of different topics – recovery, weight loss, finances, mental health…. So many establishments that were once upon a time only available for in-person assistance have transitioned to include online services or switched over to an entirely online platform. For a great recovery program for the sober or sober curious you can try Tempest, for a great weight loss/health online platform (including an app!) you can try Noom or for a great parenting program try Positive Parenting Solutions or a parenting coach on social media. There are so many options out there!
Get to know and trust yourself: This may sound like a weird way of seeking support but seeking support from within can be life changing. Getting to know yourself, what you want out of life and trusting that you will get your future self to the goals and dreams you desire can be so powerful. This is probably one of the hardest things I have added into my support tool box and it is still something I work on in my daily life. Truly supporting yourself requires you to let go of negative self talk, letting go of the unworthy story and taking charge of your emotional health. Not easy but so rewarding!
Support can be so many different things…. anything that helps us to feel heard, understood, believed in, and accepted can be the support we need! Speaking our truth out loud takes away the scariness and allows us to release. Figure out what helps you to feel most supported and add that to your life tool box!