Go with good enough
When I first started this blog, it sat empty for over a year. I had tons of ideas and things written, but I just could not post anything. My biggest problem was that it all had to be perfect and my biggest fear was that it wouldn’t be perfect. I didn’t want to face the possibility of a total flop. I couldn’t possibly post anything if it wasn’t phrased just right or had any kind of grammatical or punctuation error. What if my blog was a total mess? What if I sounded really stupid? It took a perspective change and a little bit of courage for me to question …what was the point? Having to have it perfect made it non-existent.
We all struggle with putting things out into the world, changing how we do something or avoiding something because we think if its not 100% its not good enough. Or that if we don’t do it, than we don’t have to risk failure. But if we are constantly striving for perfection nothing will get done. Often times, the biggest procrastinators are those of us who are also perfectionists. This backfires though because it ends up being the opposite of perfect if its not done at all. Or if you are avoiding something because you are afraid to fail, you are still failing – failing by forfeit.
Whatever you are trying to accomplish in your life, sometimes you have to be okay with 85% and you have to be okay with the possibility of failure. There isn’t a rule that says you can’t improve on something or try again… often times it is our failures that light the way to something better. Take this post for example – the first time I write this it will probably need to be revised a couple of times. There will be things I will forget to include or something won’t flow quite right. But after 2 or 3 times revising it, it is a waste of my time to keep trying to make it perfect because in my eyes it could always be better. Nothing says that 3 months from now, I can’t add something or change something. I have to be okay with putting it out into the world, even if its a flop. Maybe the flop will evolve into something better or lead me to something I wouldn’t have never discovered without it. And I had to keep reminding myself – the whole point is to get my writing out into the world to help people, and its not doing that when it is sitting in my draft folder.
This can apply to so many things – goals, work life, self care, parenting, relationships. Sometimes we may not see the point of putting forth the effort if its not just right or has a possibility of backfire. Or we keep screwing something up, so we stop trying. But this is doing ourselves a huge disservice. If you are trying to make a new habit stick remember this – 85% is good enough. Don’t give up just because you don’t do something perfectly. Don’t give up if there is a possibility of failure.
Say you are trying to work out more and you do all the things… plan out the day/time you will work out, how many times a week it will be and where it will be, you buy the work out clothes and the weights – its all in place. But you forget one week, or your kid gets sick, or the couch and T.V. wins one day; don’t let those things be a reason to give up. Remind yourself that 85% is good enough and get yourself back on track. What if you and your partner want to spend more time together but you can never seem to get that date night to happen? Are you trying to make it perfect? Getting dressed up and going out to a nice restaurant? Getting the sitter and finding the time? Maybe scale it back a little – make a coffee date instead- 30 minutes of un-interrupted time. Or maybe you meet on your lunch break to squeeze in a walk together. Do whatever you need to do to get that date in – even if it isn’t ‘perfect.’ What if you are trying to give up a habit like drinking, but you succumb to the urge after weeks without – does that mean those weeks don’t count? Are the experiences and knowledge gained in those moments of alcohol free clarity no longer a reality? Of course not!
Allow yourself the space and grace of that 15%. Don’t hold onto something because its not at 100%. Things don’t always have to be perfect and sometimes the imperfect -ness of things gives us perspective. Messing up and facing regret can be just the thing that gives the strength to succeed the next time. Also, being willing to fail, look stupid, or face embarrassment; these are all just a part of life. We have to be willing to embrace the discomfort! If we aren’t willing to embrace the uncomfortable feelings of life, we miss out on so much!
I have applied my motto of ‘simplify and apply’ to this piece on avoiding perfectionism… Just remember: be open to failure and be okay with 85% and life will open up in so many ways!