Awkward Anecdotes: Bloody Butt of the Joke
“I was out shopping with my 3 year old on the heaviest day of my period when I started to sense my menstrual cup wasn’t going to make it until we got back home. As I corralled the two of us towards the front of the store, I said a silent prayer that the family bathroom would be open. I’ve learned the hard way that if you have to wait for someone to exit the family room, you do not want to go in there (let’s just say it’s very rarely a family using it and more often someone dropping a different kind of kids off at the pool), but of course it was occupied so I reluctantly steered us towards the women’s.
My daughter was more than happy to come along for the ride, touching and talking about everything along the way as I contemplated how I was going to navigate this procedure with a tiny audience in close proximity. Once we’d squeezed into a regular stall and I’d started the messy work of emptying my cup, my daughter (who only has one volume) abruptly announced, “Mom your butt is bleeding!” I quickly whispered back, “Yes, and someday, when you grow up your butt will bleed too.” There was a pause. I watched the wheels turning in her head and thought for a moment I’d survived this particular round of public shaming. Then she whipped out her trademark sass we all love to hate and shouted, “YOUR butt is bleeding because it’s GROSS!”
Judging by the laughter outside our stall, I’m guessing everyone else enjoyed our trip to the bathroom much more than I did.”
Have an Awkward Anecdote of your own to share?
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