Unscripted Unabashed Uninhibited
For those who don’t know me, I’m Geri Brin, an early Baby Boomer. Married at 21. First affair at 25. Inaugural orgasm at 41. Oversharer. Incessant insecurity. Abject anxiety. Arbitrary anger. Cool style. Good taste. Salesmanship. Generosity. Humor. Sociability. Not-a-model mother.
A writer and publisher for five decades, I enjoy transforming ideas into concrete, practical ways to help others. So, I thought it would be fun - and beneficial - to invite you into my life - past & present - to share what I’m still learning, how I’m looking and feeling, and what I’m doing.
I refuse to let aging make me think, act or appear old. If you feel like this, too, you’re in the right place.
I’m calling my weekly journal Unscripted Unabashed Uninhibited, where I’ll tell you things like how I…
View men, sex, and companionship after years of relationship flops
Stifle anger and frustration, my age-old nemeses
Behave whenever I meet someone new
Select gifts that I’m sure the recipients will love
Counter my darling daughter when she thinks I’m an idiot
Deal with my son living 3.5K long miles away
Find cool products for my home
Challenge my body and my brain, because I’m terrified of Alzheimer’s, and of moving like a stereotypical old lady
I’ll be creating four UUU emails every month, for a teeny tiny fee. Writing behind a paywall helps ensure that every woman who reads UUU genuinely wants to read it! Besides, it’s not the kind of content that I’d want spread willy-nilly all over the web.
This first newsletter is gratis, to give you a taste of things to come. You can subscribe yearly, or month to month. If you can’t swing a paid subscription right now, we’re giving away 10 free subs every month. Add your name to the list by emailing geri@faboverfifty.com.
It’s truly a great pleasure to have you here. UUU awaits your eyes.
I entered this world in the first wave of Baby Boomer women. And, even if we’ve made great inroads in academics, business, politics and the arts - we sucked at marriage. What’s more, we continue to suck. Those of us born between 1946 and 1964 are divorcing more than any other generation.
By 2019, people 50 years old and over accounted for 36 percent of divorces, up from 27 percent in 2010. And, get this: Women who were at least 65 accounted for one-in-four of these divorces.
Married at 21, separated at 41, and officially divorced at 51, I’ve committed many notable love life blunders. They’ve taught me how to spot red flags, which I’ll try to heed in my next life.
But, for those of you who still crave great love in this life, my blunders could be your blessings. Your daughter’s, too!
Without further ado, I lovingly invite you to pour a glass of wine, make yourself comfortable, and get a stunningly personal look at my relationship with men.
These first 1,800 words of my journey should intrigue you. Even my closest friends, who already knew every detail, wanted to read more. An old pal once told me: “Geri, with you as a friend, I don’t need to go to the movies.” To this day, I wonder what kind of movie she meant. I never asked.
You’ll receive a new chapter each week, so if you fancied this one, you’re in for a wild ride. Every word is true.
Enjoy!
You don’t have to be Jewish to let every single word of Rabbi Sharon Brous’s sermon about death seep into your soul.
Recounting portentous events during the months preceding her ailing dad’s death, the 50-year-old Los Angeles rabbi speaks with extraordinary warmth, passion, and spirit. We can practically feel her see-sawing emotions as she readjusts her relationship with her dad’s final days, minutes and seconds.
These will absolutely be 33 well-spent minutes.
My paucity of patience (aka horrible impatience) has been responsible for much of my mean, nasty, disagreeable, off-putting behavior throughout my life. I confess that this conduct, in fact, stemmed from my low self esteem. But being older, wiser, more confident - and self aware - I’ve noticeably increased my ability to be patient.
BUT…I’m far from perfect, and some things still press the button that sets me in fly-off-the-handle mode.
My ex, with whom I live again (that’s another story for another week), isn’t against new technology; he’s just not too good with it. He can write, send and receive emails, and Google on his laptop, but has a devil of a time opening and sending attachments, downloading and uploading documents, and more. Projects on which he’s worked for hours will mysteriously disappear. He has no earthly idea how to retrieve messages on his Android phone.
No matter how many times I explain how to do - or undo - something, the same problems pop up again and again.
Hearing Douglas’s exasperated muttering yesterday about a lost document, precisely when I was rushing to get to the gym for my weekly pilates class, I exploded. “How many times do I have to show you how to solve the same problem????” I said impatiently, raising my voice. “I paid for these pilates sessions, and I don’t want to miss them!!!!”
“So go,” Douglas answered, with not a hint of anger. Guilty for my harsh tone, and seeing his defeated look, I sat down at his computer and made the fix in a frenzied state. Then I calmed down and went on my merry way.
“I’m sorry I was mean this morning,” I said to Douglas later in the day. “I have to stay calm and patient when you’re upset about the computer. But you need to pay closer attention when I’m solving one of your problems, so you can try to solve it yourself next time.”
I have a tough time when others don’t quickly grasp a task or concept that’s easy for me. I’m confident I inherited this distressing trait from my dad, who consistently seethed when it took me hours to fathom geometry problems, for example.
Moral: My father may have bequeathed his short temper to me. But it’s up to me to keep it at bay, knowing how it can affect those on the receiving end.
Do you admit to any shortcomings?
My natural fingernails were strong and shapely for about five days in 1994. No doubt smothering them with silk, powders, acrylic, chemicals, and gel polish over decades hasn’t done them any favors. They’re soft. They peel. Chip. Crack. And, if one of them dares to grow, the tip invariably breaks off. The mechanic who inspected my car had better nails.
Rocket Nail Fuel from Beauty Garde is the latest discovery in my never-ending quest for improved nails. The brand’s website claims the clear coating (it appears blue in the bottle) is blended with “plant extracts and antioxidant rich ingredients to restore and strengthen nails.” Thousands of women give it almost five stars and hearty praise.
The instructions told me to apply one coat a day, on top of the last coat, for a full week, then remove the layers and start over. After following the rules for three weeks, I notice my nails are slightly stronger, and have less peeling and chipping. Not much growth. It’s supposed to take from eight to 10 weeks to see significant results, so patience is in order.
I’m not using nail polish, but it won’t hamper the process if you do. You’ll just apply the seven coats each week right on top of your polish. It dries in a jiffy, isn’t sticky, and has a nice shine.
Look for periodic updates on the progress. At $22 a bottle, this nail treatment had better mean business.
Has a nail repair treatment worked for you?
I'm clueless about the qualifications you’d need to become a beauty expert. Covering skin care products for decades, however, has taught me the importance of knowing YOUR OWN skin issues, and which ingredients most effectively treat them, before buying anything.
This Brinsight is especially important as we age, and our skin experiences profound changes! Relying on a beauty counter salesperson, your best friend, or clever ads for guidance is, simply, wrong!
We all have different skin. Distinct tones... textures...elasticity… lines...creases...wrinkles...hydration levels...discoloration...pores...and more.
Logically, one woman's skin won't react the same way to a single product as another woman's skin.
While beauty scientists generally agree which ingredients in lotions, creams and serums are currently most powerful, each ingredient treats a different skin issue. So, it makes perfect sense to use skin care products whose primary ingredients attack YOUR main issues.
Tylenol and Alleve are each effective on different aches and pains; Olay Regenerist and Dr. Strum rich face cream, for example, each works best on unique skin problems.
Dry Or Dehydrated
Let's take dehydration and dry skin, actually two separate issues, although most of us incorrectly think they're the same.
Dry skin is a skin type. It lacks oil, so it can’t hold the moisture it needs to stay plump and hydrated. Dry skin often feels flaky, bumpy, and itchy. Some of us are born with it, but cold or dry climates, certain medical treatments, super hot showers, and aging can cause it.
Dehydrated skin is a skin condition. Its uppermost layer lacks water, which is necessary for plumpness and suppleness. Dehydrated skin often feels tight, dull and irritated, and has fine lines and wrinkles.
All skin needs oil moisture and water moisture to function well, and look and feel great. Unfortunately, both decrease with each passing year - which is why our skin begins to look washed out and less youthful.
Glycerin & Hyaluronic Acid To The Rescue
Products with glycerin attract and hold water, increasing the moisture level of cells. By drawing moisture from the air and deeper layers of the skin, glycerin helps to smooth the look of wrinkles. It’s gentle enough for most skin types.
Hyaluronic acid helps the skin retain moisture, and can hold up to 1000 times its weight in water. Products with HA can help to plump and hydrate our skin, reduce the look of fine lines and wrinkles, and stop dry skin from getting worse.
If your skin cells don’t have enough moisture in the first place, hyaluronic acid alone won’t do much good. So you’ll likely want to apply two different skin care products: One with a high concentration of glycerin, and the other that’s heavy on hyaluronic acid.
I won’t recommend specific products. I suggest, though, that you sample creams, serums and lotions from a few different brands to see how your skin reacts. Many brands offer gratis samples, but sometimes it’s wise to use a product for a month or two to determine its effectiveness.
Although expensive skin care products - and they can get mighty expensive - aren’t automatically more effective than drugstore brands, the majority of them have far higher concentrations of the best ingredients. Higher concentrations of good stuff usually means better results.
What’s more, well-known brands like Olay and L’Oreal spend obscene amounts of money on promotion, and not enough on quality ingredients.