(The below school newspaper article was published in response to a school group project, “Studying the Effects of Rabbits Feet on Passing Tests” - a 4th grade science project that was conducted by the students of Mrs. Campbell’s 4th grade class. The project proved controversial!).
In a recent research conducted by schoolkids in Mrs. Campbell’s 4th grade class on the effectiveness of rabbits' feet as a good luck charm for passing tests, results were inconclusive. Bobby Schoonover reported in the school paper Friday that this showed that “Obviously rabbits feet don’t work, and only doofuses ever believed otherwise.”
Look, the fact is Mrs. Campbell’s class bought a whole bunch of rabbits feet at the Dollar Store, and the kids who were really into this weird study worked the room to promote the use of rabbits' feet – but let’s face it - a lot of kids kept losing their rabbit’s feet. Some were trading them for candy. A lot of them forgot them in their lockers. Basically, they just didn’t try hard enough.
This made it difficult to draw firm conclusions on whether the use of rabbits' feet actually helped reduce the risk of failing a test.
So look, let’s not be too harsh on these kids. The study did not definitively conclude that rabbits' feet do not work as a good luck charm for passing tests, but rather that the results were inconclusive due to limitations in the available evidence.
So, you can’t say “rabbits feet don’t work.” That’s just not right.
You can go on believing in rabbits feet and if you just hold onto that rabbits foot real tight and keep it with you all the time, I’ll bet it will bring you good luck, at least some of the time.
They wouldn’t sell those darn things at the Dollar Store if they didn’t work for someone.
LMAO. Terrific essay.
There's putting your best foot forward. Now there's putting your beast foot forward.
Nice analogy. Also, I guess almost everything works some of the time.