The Fears We Carry
Why it’s hard to shed backpack weight on a long distance thru-hike. Plus a few notes on our first day on the trail.
Our Trail Angel Lunch
On Thursday, we flew to San Diego, got picked up by Kristen’s past boss, Tom Daniel, who treated us to Thai dinner. Then we stayed with Laurie and Dave Sheehan for two nights. On Friday we had lunch with Frodo and Scout who are San Diego Trail Angels. In the spring they host 20 PCT hikers each day then deliver them to the trail in Campo. Scout also wrote a wonderful PCT book, “Journey’s North.”
They had lots of advice for us, mainly about hiking as a couple. While his wife went to the bathroom, Scout shared this: “There will be lots of really shitty days on the trail. On the hard days, be particularly kind to each other. There are enough challenges on the trail— you deserve each others’ kindness.”
His other nugget: “Trail towns become the focus of conversation during the long wilderness stretches. We learned to limit the conversation to one day before arrival. Otherwise the conversation is never-ending. But in that last day talk about your expectations before you hit town. When Frodo arrived all she wanted was a shower and meal. But I wanted to get out and re-connect with other thru-hikers. It took us a while to find a shared agenda.”
Then Frodo talked about a phrase I had heard before…
The Fears We Carry
The challenge of shedding backpack weight is you tend to carry a lot of unneeded gear. This gear is an expression of your fears.
I packed one pair of pants, one t-shirt, three pairs of socks and underwear, warm gloves, hat, one wool shirt, and rainproof pants and jacket. Pretty normal.
But it’s the extra stuff that expresses our fears:
An arctic puffy jacket (my fear of cold)
Two gravity-fed water filter systems (thirst)
A hopeless pile of batteries and cords (my fear of losing access)
Two Garmin emergency devices (Kristen’s fear I will fall off a cliff with the single Garmin)
Two headlamps each, a requirement of Kristen. (I don’t think she’s afraid of the dark, so I’m not sure what’s up. Prudent?)
A one pound chair for each of us. I’d ditch it but would then have to watch Kristen sit comfortably while I suffer.
A one-pound medical kit. Kristen put it together and she’s ready to treat anything. It includes antibiotics and enough sutures for on-the-trail knee surgery.
Kristen insisted I bring a towel and bandana to wash myself. I have no fear of dirt but she fears stinky things (me).
I think it’s related to above but we’re carrying a lot of toothpaste.
I’m sure we’ll shed our backpack weight as we slowly adapt to life on the trail.
Trading One Set of Anxieties For Another
Laurie Sheehan drove us to Campo in her shiny new Tesla 3. She plugged in “PCT southern terminus” and we left San Diego at 6 a.m., Saturday morning.
As we got closer, I noticed that Google Maps highlighted a different route. We got within sight of the border wall, the road turned to dirt, and we blithely passed multiple “RESTRICTED ACCESS” signs. It didn’t feel right that the Tesla nav showed a route right along the border wall. A joke by Tesla engineers? A sign that Teslas are too bougie for the PCT?
But the worse problem was the quickly diminishing car battery. Turning around to find another route would deplete the battery further, kicking in Laurie’s range anxiety. We were just three miles from our destination.
In the end, by two to one vote (Kristen hates to backtrack), we turned around, pushing our range anxiety to the side for the next twenty minutes.
After a ten mile workaround, we found the southern terminus and took the obligatory terminus photo. What was hysterical was the Tesla that was trapped on the other side of the barbed wire— they had chosen to press on regardless. “Happens all the time,” said the trail host.
As Laurie and Kristen/I went our separate ways— Laurie to confront her range anxiety and us to take on this 2,650-mile challenge— it was obvious to me that this trip would be all about giving up one set of “on the grid” anxieties for a new set on the trail.
As I write this, we’re twenty miles up the trail at a ten-by-ten cabin at Moreno Lake. Our new record mileage backpacking is now twenty miles! We started well and are enjoying the provisions of a heated cabin on a thirty-degree morning. (We’re sixty dammit!)
For more photos, you can also follow us here:
If you have questions or words of encouragement, feel free to leave a comment.
Onward,
Gib
(With Kristen)
Second shorter post. The "gear fears" is an interesting exercise in psychology. As I mentioned in my other post, right around mile 600 I had stopped for the day and was really tired of my heavy pack. I decided to create two piles: 1) things I had used 2) things I hadn't used (or not very much). At the next town I got out my "mail ahead" box and put in everything from pile #2. It allowed me to go to a lighter pack (20-25lbs) and I also switched to trail shoes. Keep up the great progress!
Truly enjoyed your first official PCT post. Great start!