In my last newsletter I told you I was getting up at 5.00am and working until 10am, well that all went out the window after a couple of weeks. The summer holidays were suddenly really busy with visitors and trips away, and then the sun came out I had the urge to be outside and spend time with the fam.
But that’s OK, it worked for a while. I find that things work for a WEE WHILE, then THEY DON’T, and a new thing works for a while. I like that. It keeps things fresh.
Anyway, yesterday Pie went back to school, so now I am dusting off my creative brain and getting back to work.
I should add that my partner is an illustrator too, I am not left to do all the domestic stuff because he has a ‘more important’ job. No, it’s not that. We share the domestic stuff, I couldn’t have spent my life with anyone who didn’t see my work as equally valuable. Imagine! 😱
Life as a couple is a big negotiation isn’t it? And Gerry and I have bickered over work time A LOT. Thank goodness we bicker, because that’s how things get worked out. There’s no predetermined assumption that one of us should have the priority over work time.
An old boyfriend once told me that his music was more important than my art because music is THE art. Idiot. Why was there even a competition? My blood boils even thinking about it. He told me women should do the cooking too. Thank goodness younger Helen knew she had to get away fast 😮💨 I was small but I had big ideas, and cooking for an ungrateful muso idiot wasn’t one of them. I was out of that relationship fast!
Anyway, enough of that. I slow down during the school holidays because it feels necessary for ma’ brain. Gerry and I probably could carry on working, juggling work time, swapping shifts, but the whole family would feel miserable, so we don’t. We grab an hour or two whenever we get a chance and just tick over in the summer.
We don’t have family nearby, so that’s not an option. And even if it was, that’s not simple is it? There’s always a payoff (Granny might feed them cous-cous when you believe in frazzles and smarties for breakfast, dinner and tea 😂) and paid help from someone didn’t feel right for us either. No judging folks who went down those routes though, life is complicated, we all muddle along as best we can.
There were times when Pie was small that this really impacted our finances, and it was stressful. We often had holidays at Grandma’s house and we had long days rambling on the beach rather than holidays abroad. But we managed, and I don’t regret it one bit.
I love that Pie gets to see both parents following their creative noses every day. (I know, she will probably become a scientist or something! 😂)
I am really interested to know, how do you manage in the summer holidays?
By the way, after 27 years together, Gerry and I decided we’d like to be each other’s next of kin legally speaking. So we got hitched this summer!
Gerry’s REALLY good at drawing, sharing work time, cooking good currys, and sweeping the backyard, so he’s just about perfect.
I have always had big issues with being ‘a bride’, the word fills me with horror. Do you remember that Billy Idol song ‘Nice Day for a White Wedding’? He sounded so angry at weddings to me (I don’t know what it’s ACTUALLY about, I must have another listen), and I loved it. When I was a kid I played it endlessly on repeat (rewinding the tape) on my Walkman 😂😂😂 This bride/ wedding fear started years ago, and it goes deep.
So we decided to get married quietly with just our best pals as witnesses.
Ten minutes before the wedding I asked Gerry to pull up outside Co-op. I ran in and bought a loaf of white sliced bread as my bouquet. It felt more apt than flowers. It represents the practicalities of our life together far better than flowers. Plus it was handy for toast later 😂.
Here I am throwing the bouquet 🍞. Our pal Rufus caught it, so he was the next to get married eat toast.
We have been together so long that I thought getting married was just a bit of paperwork, but actually when I heard the registrar read our vows, tears of laughter and love were pouring down my face. The registrar had to nip out for a box of tissues 😂
If you’re interested, here’s a snippet of our daft but truthful vows.
‘In their nearly 30 years together, they have never felt the need to get married before. Their knowledge that they love each other and that this is a life they want to spend together was enough. The thought of a wedding made them both feel uncomfortable, it felt too conventional, and it wasn’t a good fit.
But they are both turning 50 this year, and their accountant and life insurance broker both suggested things would be better if they were married, so they decided to do the legal bit. So here they are doing the conventional thing, and actually they tell me it feels OK! They know they can get married and still be in love, and lead a creative life, and be happy, and argue, and do all the stuff they’ve always done.’
As we left the registry office, Pie said, ‘Well, I’m NEVER getting married.’ Job done 😂😂😂
Go fly your freak flag!
Photos by Alan (Tank Girl) Martin.
In case you don’t know, I run an online art school The Good Ship Illustration with my good pals Katie and Tania, and there’s NEWS Popping out of every porthole on the Good Ship Illustration today!
ART CLUB IS BACK! We are doing some special POP-UP art clubs 🥳🥳🥳
26th August 7pm AND 2nd September 7pm (UK time)
SAVE THE DATES! We go live on The Good Ship Illustration Instagram, and it’s totally free!
AAaaand! 📣📣📣📣 WE MADE SIX BRAND NEW PODCASTS for your ears. They are available to listen to right now! 📣📣📣📣📣 They’re called ‘Message in a Bottle’ and we answer all the illustration questions you sent us over the summer.
Tell me about your summer, did you work, or take a break, or work even harder looking after your kids/pets? And your thoughts on being called a bride, is it just me who curls up and hides in a corner at the mere mention of the word? Have you listened to one of our Good Ship podcasts?
Thank YOU! We are getting married after 23 years of living together and we feel exactly the same. I actually proposed when my partner was having a heart attack because I had been talking about it that morning on a dog walk and so it was on my mind. Completely inappropriate and just to make it worse, I went to pottery to stay calm and supportive during his recovery and could only think of making a vessel which I kept accidentally calling an urn! Maybe I shouldn’t admit this but while we are all flying our freak flags...
I was married for 22 years and honestly I'd have gotten less for murder. Never again.