I got in a bad habit of only attending the things I was hosting and leading, be it the book club or co-working day or hikes on a mountain. I stretched myself pretty thin professionally so that attending other people’s events (professional or personal) was not in the energetic cards.
However.
Moving to a new town where you don’t know a soul is a way to explore receiving in all forms. I receive messages from the Universe that this must be the place for my family and for my heart for now. I received support from the community as I started traveling again and I actually don’t know how to do that with three kids and both my husband and me working full time. I receive a barter like I bring a jar of soup and my neighbor friend gives me frozen chicken feet. It’s neat. And I receive the invites to do the things hosted by others.
So this past week I attended the local library’s evening book club. They have a morning book club but the librarian nudged me to the evening sesh. I was still the youngest by 30+ years but when I took a look at the morning group, I might have edged to 40ish years younger than everyone. And the AM people didn’t have snacks and wine.
I loved it. Let me set the scene for you….
I am going to be late which my husband cannot even begin to understand how the book club starts at 5pm and the library is 11 minutes away and I am leaving at 4:52pm. I am assuming he is all stressed out as the kids are being…kids, but it is not that - it is the fact that I am going to be late to a book club that he is not even attending.
Sadly, I don’t mind being late.
I am, by nature, late.
And I know some of you, like my husband, might stop reading because you are so annoyed that someone can be so laissez faire about being late. I get it and how fun when words make you feel something.
So I arrive late. And every door I usually use is locked as the book club is after hours. So then I am more late. I consider leaving and say maybe not meant to be but no, I read the book and it was over 500 pages, I am not not going to discuss this thing! Should I tap on the window? Okay now that is rude as they are already seated and into the first question, of course. See, now my book club would not have started on time (wink).
I find an unlocked door and make my entrance. Not subtle as I am wearing a neon pink hat and a ginormous wool sweater jacket with reindeer on it I found years ago at a thrift store and once a year someone tries to buy it off of me. Will you believe this? There is one seat left at the long table of two tables pushed together, as if they saved me a spot.
I take that seat and they stop the entire meeting to introduce me. Oh no, a full stop for a rude-late-youngish-person intro? Fine, I mind being late! I care! Next time I will be early, I make the promise to myself.
It was a quick intro, thankfully. There are 8 people in attendance, I make it 9. All women and one older gentleman named, Bud. He is the only man and makes sure I have full permission to have some snacks from the charcuterie board and finds the last wine glass for me and fills it - whisper-asking me white or red while the book club questioner is talking. I love him. He has very kind eyes with many wrinkles at the corners, a plaid button up and is hard of hearing as I repeat myself, red, red, oh I love red and thank him with eye contact and placing my hand on his shoulder for endearment.
I am seated at the far end of the table. The charcuterie boards line the center and there are festive turkey napkins and wine bottles. I learn later that the person who chooses the book that round brings the snacks.
Seated across from a woman in readers and an ivory sweater, I notice she has loose printer pages sneaking out the edges of the 500+ page book we are discussing and she is listening intently as everyone shares. She reminds me of one of my Aunts always trying to find her turn to speak and be heard. Quickly she grabs a few pages out and finds her spot and interjects. These are printed pages of research about the book we read that she has brought to share. Like fun facts, how to pronounce certain words from the book and geographical history, it is fascinating. She is fascinating.
I listen.
I listen and nod.
I agree often.
And I pick at the nuts on the charcuterie.
Nod again.
There is another woman in a blue sweater with a large brown button that makes it a dramatic-ish cowl neck, she is down at the other end of the table. She was a teacher for a while which she announces and I can tell. She speaks loudly and really believes in the words she is saying. I have a ping of recognition as this meeting rolls along and the questions begin to linger to random topics that don’t really need to be discussed yet clearly, opinions need to be shared out loud.
I am transported to a familiar feeling in circles of older woman I used to meet with my Grandmother at her church circles - be it pancake-making one morning, her epiphany dinner she planned or who knows what else in the basement of the church rec center where my Mother actually went to elementary school many moons ago. The gumption is what is familiar as my Grandmother explained to me that you reach a certain age where you really don’t worry so much about what other people think and as she said, ‘you have earned your right to your beliefs and you share them’.
Familiar gumption.
More of that please, I whisper to myself.
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