Brace yourselves… this one’s gonna be juicy. Let’s just say I had one intention: to have the full Berlin club experience. And that’s exactly what I did.
It’s crazy to think, this time last week I was in Berlin about to fall madly in love with the techno scene. And now I’m in Sicily which feels like a completely different world. I wound up in the Berlin black hole and have a lot of catching up to do with blogs, but before I tell you about the rest of my Berlin experience, I want to get straight into the really yummy stuff.
So it’s Saturday last week and I’m wandering the streets of East Berlin. Doing the inevitable tourist thing, checking out the wall and taking photos at the East Side Gallery. Later that afternoon I was meant to be going to the sauna with my friend. But the moment I was out and about I knew that wasn’t going to be happening. I could feel the nightlife calling. She assured me you can go out any night in Berlin, but if this was my only weekend I wasn’t going to miss out on going all in.
Rejected from Berghain
I had my heart set on getting into Berghain so I spent the afternoon reading blogs and figuring out how I was going to get into the infamous club. Most articles said these main things:
Go between 4am - and 8am on Sunday as the lines are shorter. All the tourists try to get in on Saturday nights so that’s when the lines are longest and you’re less likely to get in
Wear black - easy since half my suitcase is black clothes
Don’t talk in line - that one was also easy since no one wanted to come with me
Know who’s playing so if you get asked why you’re there you can legitimately say you’re there for the music
Don’t make eye contact with the bouncers
Speak German if you can - well that one wasn’t happening
So it’s Saturday evening and I’m pretty ready to go dancing. I was contemplating whether to go somewhere else and try Berghain in the morning, but I ended up just staying in and deciding I’d try the early morning lineup.
It was pretty weird getting on the U-Bahn at 5am with all the people who had clearly been up all night and I was fresh out of bed and ready to party. Even weirder walking to a club at sunrise when that’s usually the time I’d be leaving. I walked to Berghain psyching myself up to get in. I was intuitively walking and trusting I was going to find it and it was pretty easy to know when I had. I stumbled into a sea of people wearing black. Like everyone knows it’s the uniform.
As soon as I got in line I felt out of place. Even though I was wearing black, I still had my typical glittery flair, and despite my better judgement, I had done my makeup and hair. I lined up anyway just to see. I could feel it wasn’t going to happen and by that point, I decided I almost didn’t want to get in. The energy didn’t feel like where I wanted to be. But I was already there so I stayed in line just to see.
I caught eye with the bouncers a few times and tried to remain indifferent. It’s such an interesting experience being in a line and trying to follow all these rules that are just word of mouth. But they’ve somehow become gospel and everyone just does it.
Thankfully the line wasn’t long and I didn’t have to wait too long to receive the inevitable nod of rejection. There’s 3 guys at the door. One asks you how many of you there are, then he looks over to the other one and waits for a nod. If you get the nod of approval you get to pass to the next one to get your stamp and pay. If you don’t make the cut, you get a sorry and be on your way.
Meet me at Sisyphos
In the end, it worked out for the best. I didn’t really feel like being alone in a club, even though I knew in Berlin it’s totally normal. To ease into it I thought it would be nice to go with a friend.
So I happily messaged my friend to let her know I didn’t get in and we made plans to meet at Sisyphos. Which, according to friends I met later, turns out to be the better club anyway cos it’s not as hyped up as Berghain.
I got there and accidentally walked into the guest list line. Where I had little confidence at Berghain, I had total confidence at Sisyphos. It didn’t even cross my mind I was in the wrong line. And the bouncer clearly felt that and let me right in. Before you enter you have to put stickers over all the camera lenses on your phone. There’s strict no-photo policies which add a whole new level of depth and connection to the experience.
I could feel the techno and was drawn straight into the dark warehouse. Raver mode instantly activated. You wouldn’t even know it was broad daylight outside. My friend arrived shortly after and we got into dance mode at the front of the stage. Drawing lots of attention with our “embodied” movement - very different to the traditional techno trance moves. We received a lot of compliments from people who were loving our energy.
At some point the warehouse closed and the party moved outside. True Sunday session vibes. Deep house in the sunshine. We found a spot overlooking the dance floor and continued bringing our moves.
Alone in the club
In the early afternoon hours, my friend was ready to leave. She was still feeling fairly sick and jet lagged after only arriving from Australia a few days earlier.
I was definitely not ready to leave so I decided to stay alone. By that point I had eased into the atmosphere and liked the vibe of the place so felt safe enough to be on my own. I kept dancing for a while loving the energy of the DJ and enjoying the deep house vibes. It’s been forever since I’ve danced to that kinda music so I was really loving the shift in pace.
I was still completely sober and my energy was starting to wane though so I decided to go to the bar to get myself some drinks. I wanted some MDMA but apparently, that’s not so easy to come across in Berlin clubs. Even though pretty much everyone is openly on drugs, I came to realise that’s not the one of choice here. I asked around a bit and started to resign to the fact that I was probably just going to have to drink.
A few hours later I was lining up for the bathroom and this guy caught my eye. He commented on me not smiling or something like that. I told him I was tired. I could tell he was in there with a group of friends so I figured it was worth a shot to ask if they had anything extra. I knocked on the door and ended up in a cubicle with 4 guys. They had one ecstasy which was the closest I was going to get to what I wanted so I decided to take it. I didn’t have small enough change though so I told them I could buy them drinks.
We went to the bar together and once I got their drinks I expected us to just go separate ways. But once they found out I was alone they wouldn’t have that. And that led to me making some lovely new friends and having the best first Berlin club experience I could’ve had. So far beyond what I even imagined when I decided I wanted to go all in.
Backstage friends
One took particular interest in me and we got chatting about all kinds of things. There was a little barrier, him being from Bavaria and me not knowing a word of German, but his English was good enough for us to manage to understand each other. You don’t really need a lot of words in a place like that anyway.
He ended up getting backstage passes and gave me one too which was really nice. I loved being back there with all the local people, even though I couldn’t understand a word of the conversations, it was a cool vibe. And it was great to be in an area where you can openly do the drugs without having to hide in toilet cubicles.
One of the things I really love about Berlin is how stuff that’s usually hidden in the shadows, is so openly accepted and celebrated here. It suits the energy of rebellion that’s so present all through the city. Clubs are open from Friday to Monday non-stop so obviously drugs are gonna be present. The vibe is, instead of making people feel wrong for it, just let them be and encourage it to be done responsibly. It creates a way better atmosphere!
And because of the no-camera policies, there’s way more freedom for people to express and be themselves.
When we weren’t backstage we were in the techno warehouse dancing. Sometimes I stayed alone cos I didn’t want to stop dancing, but they always came back to find me. And really made me feel looked after - instead of trying to feed me drink and drugs, they were bringing me water and making sure I was ok. I felt this from other people in moments too. There’s a real community feeling and everyone looks out for one another.
Dark and delicious
We danced until the early hours of Monday morning when the final beat dropped. And we emerged from the dark warehouse into an outdoor undercover area where things turned a little hot and heavy.
While some clubs are known for sexual activities taking place in the open (aka Berghain & KitKat), Sisyphos is a little more contained. So we found ourselves back in a bathroom cubicle. Love that it was a full circle moment from how we met to how our night/morning ended.
I won’t go into all the delicious details but let’s say all my inhibitions went out the window and I decided to fully lean into the Berlin club experience. I haven’t let myself do that in public since my 20s and it felt so good to fully embrace the moment and lean into the current of aliveness. There was no RBDSM convo involved and it was just totally reckless and fun (which made it way better when I shared the story with my friends over the next few days). Sometimes I think this kind of heat and passion is lost in conscious communities and in this moment I was glad to just let my slut out. She’s been contained for quite some time now. It helped that I felt really safe with this guy after him being so caring and genuine all night. So my body opened easily. And even though we hadn’t spoken about it, there was aftercare which made it a lovely experience.
We walked outside to meet back up with his friends and it was pure daylight again. I was happy to know I succeeded at my intention to make it through the whole night.
On a scale of 1 to 10, I’d say I totally nailed my first Sisyphos experience with a 10/10. I’m very grateful for the people who were so warm and welcoming and took me under their wing to make this happen.
Here’s a photo of us all as we left the club. I was very happy they wanted me to be in it. They did invite me back for afters, but let’s just say I really needed to go home for a shower and was going to meet them at their place after. But then ended up falling asleep so it didn’t work out. Which I was sad about… but there’s always next summer!
Here’s some notes I wrote to myself as I was dancing alone at some point…
“Dance is my religion. Rave dens are my church.”
“I went right into the belly of the beast and I loved it. Berlin nightlife is every bit as dark and dirty as I imagined it would be. Sisyphos is a vibeee.”
(notes I write to myself while high on the d floor)
Final notes on Berlin clubs
Berlin has ruined me in all the best ways.. the city has a pulse. It doesn’t sleep.
You feel the rave wherever you go. Pumping. Alive. It has its own beat.
The techno clubs shrouded in mystery. Black holes that suck you in and spit you out after having their way with you. Time warps. Reality fades into the distance.
And once you’ve been in, you’ll never come out the same. There’s no other place like a Berlin club. At least not that I’ve experienced.
Things that are usually in the shadows are openly embraced here. The ultimate symphony of freedom, expression, hedonism, art and magic.
Do the drugs, but do it safely and look after one another. Have the sex but make sure there’s consent. Don’t hide from your desires… let them be known.
Love the music. Love one another. Dance until the final beat drops.
Turn off the cameras. Respect each other’s privacy. It’s safe to be yourself here.
The tech witch dream. Dancing in a dark warehouse. Lights flashing red and blue and white. Techno music pumping. Creating the ultimate trance state. Feeling the heartbeat of the tech witch organism.
Pulsing. Writhing. Moving.
Magic and technology merging. Portals opening on the dance floor. It’s clear how much these worlds begin to collide. This is the new religion.
Sending ripples out to those who feel the call. There’s nothing to do but be yourself. Let the music take you over. Nothing to hide.
The revolution has already begun.
Freedom and expression are what matter most here. No masks. No one to impress.
Vision blurred but everything becomes so clear. Codes and systems forming in the mind.
The tech witch is weaving her magic. Those who are meant to be in her coven are finding their way in.