Self awareness can have its downsides too.
Salam Alaykum waramotullahi wabarakatuh
I hope you’re well and in the best state of health and iman.
Personal development is a good thing to do. One of the best things we can do for ourselves, in fact. But nobody talks about how jarring some hard truths can be when we begin to dig deeper.
As we embark on the journey, we may begin to realize our past mistakes and how we once acted in the wrong. The jarring truths that are revealed during these times may make us cringe at the mere thought of the things we once did. The self awareness may even hit so deep that we begin to despise ourselves; or the people we used to be.
But we often forget that having the ability to recognize our own lapses, in itself, is a remarkable thing. That recognizing our past mistakes is one step forward in growth and healing. That we did what we did then according to our level of deen, the amount of information, and self awareness that we had at that time. But now we know better.
Perhaps you can already tell what point I’m trying to make —that even as we begin to recognize our faults and lapses through growth, we should afford ourselves some grace and love, because we now know better, and would do better. That we should forgive our past selves, or the people we used to be, because the moment we turned to Allah, He did.
As we step into a new week, may we find the strength to stay true to our own selves, during the good and rough moments (of healing) —especially during rough moments. May Allah grant us the strength to not only forgive, but embrace our past selves. Amin.
Sending you love, kisses and Du’a. Till we meet again by His grace.
Warmest salam,
Risqah from Jaleesah.