Notes from a cluttered mind

Episode 5: What is the sound of one hand typing?

1. Let’s just end the suspense now. The answer is this. This is the sound of one hand typing. Though I suspect you can’t hear much difference between this column and some of those I typed out like a 1940s office dame.

   It’s like the old joke about people who can’t read very fast: don’t you worry; I’ll just type slower. Though in this case, the exact opposite obtains. In fact, you’ll be done reading this before I’m finished typing it out. That’s just math.

   Anyway. My surgical follow-up is on Wednesday. While I’m in the cast, I’ll try to peck out 3 columns weekly — today’s, Wednesdays’ hump day reviews of the news mid week, and Fridays’ “mental sorbet” offerings. I wish I had the physical stamina to do my long-form columns, but I don’t. Just sitting at a desk with my hand elevated is already painful enough. It would be unwise to bring editing and spelling and revision and anger and frustration into the mix.

   

2. If you don’t suspect that part of FEMA’s actual role right now is to suppress certain votes in North Carolina and Georgia, you don’t distrust the uniparty near enough. David Axelrod even did us the courtesy of speaking the quiet part aloud: you filthies only matter because you stubbornly continue to exist — though hopefully apocalyptic weather events will take care of that in sufficiently large numbers.

   

   The priority for the Deep State and its Praetorian guard is stopping Donald Trump from winning back the White House — not because he’s an arch conservative, but rather because he’s too forthright about how we citizens are managed, controlled, “nudged,” and contained.

   100+ years of progressive machination hangs in the balance — it takes a long time to create the grand illusion of a healthy, properly functioning democratic republic — and the left knows it.

   Trump is a threat because he doesn’t need the adoration of other elites. He wants that adoration, sure. It’s a failing of his. But he’s not going to beg for it, either — and those who try to diminish his cultural standing aren’t going to be met with the class and grace they’ve grown accustomed to, as self-styled masters of the universe. Instead, they’re going to get the bird. A tiny but confident bird. With a twist and a thrust, should he wish to insert it. And that willingness is a strength of his.

3. Speaking of the uniparty, I wonder how much thought establican twats like James Lankford ever give to how they’re so easily used by Democrats as cover for disastrous policy — in this case, a Biden-Harris border policy that has allowed somewhere near 20 million illegals into the US, where they strain resources and public services and, we’ve recently learned, commit crime at impossibly elevated rates.

   

   The “bipartisan border bill” Lankford helped negotiate — supported by GOPe Chamber of Commerce types looking for cheap illegal labor to keep overall workforce wages down — is now ubiquitously cited by Democrats as a way to suggest that Donald Trump strong-armed his own Party into rejecting fair and rigorous legislation meant to curb border abuses so that he might use illegal immigration as a political issue in the Presidential race. This is, of course, a lie — but it’s a lie that took shape out of GOPe flaccidity and a willingness to sell out citizens for the appearance of “bipartisan compromise.” That is, it represents precisely the kind of legislative one-way ratcheting Republican elites are happy to support — then, when the legislation predictably exacerbates the problem it purports to address, those same Republicans will express shock and outrage, and they’ll fund-raise off the failure they themselves helped design.

   Why, it’s almost like they desire government to work that way!

4. I’ve tried having coffee four times today, filling up and preparing four separate cups with creamer and sugar-free burnt marshmallow coffee syrup. Four times today that coffee has gone cold while my attentions wandered elsewhere.

   It’s like my late father would always say: “well, had you poured yourself a bourbon neat, you’d right now have two things: a bourbon neat, and nothing else to bitch about.”

   Lesson learned, idealized Papa who never actually said any such thing. Lesson learned.

5. By the way, the legacy press, along with the Biden-Harris Admin’s bureaucratic flunkies, are pulling out all the stops to pretend that a dearth of funds for FEMA hurricane relief haven’t been squandered elsewhere — like, for instance, on aid to “migrants.” Sadly for them, however, internet sleuths have already unearthed both documentation and the testimony of the President’s very own Press Secretary disputing these fevered disputations — such outrage! Why, you’d think somebody’d accused FEMA of feeding displaced flood victims house cat! — and now, Libs of TikTok has posted data showing FEMA funds going toward COVID-19 (?!?) relief just last month!

   BREAKING:@fema's Disaster Relief Fund monthly report reveals that nearly $4 BILLION was spent on "COVID-19 aid" in September of 2024, the most of any month since October 2023.

   Billions of dollars are being spent on a pandemic that's been over for years while Helene victims are struggling.

   See for yourself where the priorities lie in Kamala's America.

   

   Less than 30 days, everyone. And if the votes come in outside the margin of fraud, maybe — just maybe — we can begin to put this shit show behind us and start fixing the mess leftists invariably leave in the wake of stultifying arrogance and colossal ignorance.

   ****

   Buy me a cup of coffee? Lunch? A sports car? Or buy me some beer. I avoid prescription opioids.