Donny doesn’t want to hear about your devastating storms, he’s too busy golfing
the Commander-in-Cheat had a Very Special weekend
on Saturday, ginormous fucking storms tore the shit out of America’s midwest and south. at least 40 people died as huge tornadoes — at least 32 of them — leveled entire towns in Louisiana, Mississippi and Arkansas.
on top of that, wildfires swept through Oklahoma and Texas.
it was apocalyptic as fuck, so let’s check in with the president of the United States, and see if he has any words of comfort for the survivors.
“I just won the Golf Club Championship, probably my last, at Trump International Golf Club, in Palm Beach County, Florida. Such a great honor! The Awards dinner is tonight, at the Club. I want to thank the wonderful Golf Staff, and all of the many fantastic golfers, that participated in the even. Such fun!”
that’s right, Little Donny Fuckface went golfing this weekend — just as he’s done every weekend of his second reign. according to the Trump Golf Tracker, Donny has spent over a quarter of his presidency golfing.
but this weekend was extra-awesomely delightful for America’s Very Special Golfer-in-Chief — because he won the Trump International Club championship, just as he does every year.
want to become a perennial golf champion, Donny Convict-style? bro, it’s easy as pie! all you have to do is buy your very own vermin-infested golf motel, and surround yourself with lackeys who look the other way as you cheat your ass off.
Trump always uses a “turbo-charged golf cart that goes three times as fast” as his competition’s, which gives him time to move the balls around before people catch up.
“One time in L.A. he was playing $50 a hole with these three guys. He hits it in the pond. They see the splash. By the time they get there, [the ball’s] in the middle of the fairway, and they’re like, ‘What the f— Donald,’ and then he goes, ‘It must have been the tide.’”
I know you’ll be fucking shocked to hear this, but when there’s a camera on Donny and he can’t cheat, he’s actually quite shit at golfing. enjoy this minute-long supercut of Donny failing to sink putt after putt.
but obviously it was a mistake to seek empathy for storm survivors from Donny. we’re not exactly breaking any new ground by pointing out that the guy is a broken-inside sociopath who is incapable of giving a shit about anyone but himself — so let’s check in on Donny’s Confederacy of Sewer Clowns and see if we can elicit any words of comfort.
hey, Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent, whatcha got for Americans worried that Donny’s gonna fuck the economy straight into the shitter?
Kristen Welker: “Can you guarantee the American people here and now that there will be no recession on President Trump’s watch?”
Scott Bessent: “there are no guarantees. who would have predicted covid?”
exfuckingscuse me? there are no guarantees?
I seem to recall that there was this guy who campaigned on the GUARANTEE that he would make prices come down on day one.
“Starting on day one, we will end inflation and make America affordable again, to bring down the prices of all goods.”
that was Donny, lying out of both sides of his face on August 1, 2024. he spun that bullshit over and over, and hoodwinked so many voters into believing his ‘prices down on day one’ fairy tale that they handed him the presidency. and now we’re being told that there are no guarantees? fuck you, and fuck the turbocharged golf cart you rode in on.
but please do continue, Scott. I believe there was something you wanted to say to reassure Americans who worry that Dear Leader’s tariff fuckery will make basic necessities unaffordable.
Bessent: “access to cheap goods is not the essence of the American dream. the American dream is rooted in the concept that any citizen can achieve prosperity, upward mobility and economic security.”
Welker: “Mr. Secretary, are you essentially saying that the Trump administration is comfortable to have consumers pay more for goods in America?”
Bessent: “not at all, Kristen. what I’m saying is not ‘let them eat flat screens.’ if American families aren’t able to afford a home, don’t believe that their children will do better than they are, the American dream is not contingent on cheap baubles from China.”
‘let them eat flat screens’? what the fuck is that supposed to mean? people are genuinely freaked out about rising prices, and this rich smirking jackass is all no one said you had a right to any of that shit.
this out-of-touch plutocrat has a net worth of over seven hundred million dollars. he has no idea what it’s like to worry about money. here’s a fun fact about Scott. when Donny nominated him to be Treasury Sec, Scott went out and bought himself a house in Georgetown. after all, a guy’s gotta live somewhere, right?
The Wall Street Journal reported last week that the billionaire former hedge fund investor and Little River native has bought a five-bedroom house in Washington’s tony Georgetown enclave for $12.5 million, citing unidentified “people familiar with the deal.” The agents involved in the transaction declined to comment.
The four-story, 8,000-square-foot spread on R Street NW was built around 1941 on nearly a third of an acre. The grounds include a manicured garden and a saltwater pool.
twelve point five mil. that’s walking-around money for a gazillionaire. now check this out: he bought that house in January — before he was confirmed. he didn’t even know for sure that he was going to get the job. he was basically plunking down millions of dollars on a what-if.
so this out-of-touch asshole — who buys houses on a whim — has the nerve to tell you that if you can’t afford a flat-screen TV because Donny’s tariffs have jacked prices sky high, don’t come crying to him. maybe you should have American-dreamed better, you lazy fuck.
lastly, what the fuck is going on with Holy Mike Johnson’s face?
Mike debuted a new look this weekend. but what exactly is going on? botox? has Mike gotten into Dear Leader’s secret stash of burnt cork face-spackle?
is this what happens when you don’t have one friend who can show you how to properly apply makeup?
also, what’s up with Mike’s incessant blinking?
Mike, are you in trouble? are you being held against your will?
blink three times if you need help, Mike.
here’s your daily reminder that I can be found on Blue Sky at this link.
this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:
practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.
to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.
we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.
thank you everyone for all the birthday greetings! there were far too many for me to respond to, but I can promise you this: when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness. so you got that goin' for you, which is nice
'memba Katrina, Dubya gazing down at the damage from an airplane? He spent all of his remaining political capitol in one photo. Donny could piss all over the ruins of a house, the dead people in it, and his base wouldn't blink. This country is in the throes of mass mental illness.