madman unleashes lunatic rant before Ireland’s Prime Minister

another day, another insane press conference

when world leaders meet, do you think they draw straws, and the loser has to go to the White House to do a press conference with Donny Convict?

at this point there’s no other logical reason why someone with a country to run would step onto an airplane and fly halfway around the world to sit next to a halfwit.

what’s the upside? best case scenario, you’re stuck there with a fake smile plastered on your face as Commander Crazypants blithers incoherently, and you get to go home without sparking a major international incident. worst case, you end up like Zelensky, tag-teamed by Donny and some shithead who fucks furniture.

the thing is, you never know what you’re getting yourself into — and yesterday was Irish Prime Minister Micheál Martin’s turn to play Batshit Bingo.

hey, here’s a little-known fun fact: did you know that the Article II powers of the US Constitution confer upon a president the ability to decide who gets to be a Jew?

I shit you not.

“Schumer is a Palestinian as far as I’m concerned. he’s become a Palestinian. He used to be Jewish. he’s not Jewish anymore. he’s a Palestinian.”

oh, how charming. with the implication that there’s something terrible about being a Palestinian, Donny manages to be both antisemitic and bigoted at the same time. talk about efficiency in government!

at this point, Prime Minister Martin must be eyeing the exits and reassessing every life choice that brought him to this moment.

well, hold onto your hat, Micheál — it gets batshittier.

“everything is transgender. everybody is transgender. that’s all you hear about.”

fucking hell, not this evil bullshit again. Donny’s got transgender on the brain. was there even a context for this? how does transgender come up in conversation with the leader of Ireland? ‘hey Micheál, was St. Patrick trans?’

no, everyone isn’t transgender. less than one percent of the population identifies as trans. it’s a rounding error away from zero. the only reason that it’s “all you hear about” is that Donny and the Republicans never shut the fuck up about it.

enough with this imaginary moral panic. look how upside fucking down our world has become: last week, cops in Phoenix followed some woman into a Walmart bathroom for the unspeakable crime of not appearing adequately feminine.

for fuck’s sake, leave these poor people alone already. they just want to live their lives in peace.

I’ll bet PM Martin never imagined he’d be sitting next to a madman and listening to him whine about Barack Obama.

“Obama was a disaster. you know, they have with Obama, he gave them sheets. and I gave them anti-tank missiles. you know that, right? it’s called javelin. you know the javelin? I’m the one that gave them the javelins. people don’t say that. and then they say, ‘oh, Trump has a great relationship with Russia.” I’m the one that gave them the javelins. Obama gave them sheets. it’s an expression. he gave sheets, I gave javelins.”

sheets? what on God’s green earth is Sundowning Grandpa Befuddlepants on about with Obama and sheets?

this: “Obama gave sheets” is a fever-swamp hallucination that Donny has been yammering about for literal years. to hear Donny tell it, the sum total of Obama’s foreign aid to Ukraine was a pile of tatty old bed linens. of course, it’s a delusional, but what else is new?

and by the way, Donny gave javelin missiles to Ukraine after he got impeached for trying to extort Zelensky by withholding them. weird how Donny always leaves that part of the story out.

but Donny remains obsessed with Obama. how ironic is it that he and his tyrant Klansman father were fined by the federal government for refusing to rent their apartments to black people, and now Barack Obama gets to live rent-free in Donny’s head?

Donny’s completely broken with reality. the Irish PM is lucky that Donny didn’t turn to him and start yammering about leprechauns. can you imagine what that would have been like?

so you’ve got rainbows with pots of gold in Ireland, is that right? we have gold, too. but not under any rainbows. it’s in Fort Knox. huge piles of gold. beautiful gold, like no one’s ever seen. but maybe someone stole all that gold. do leprechauns steal gold? how else do they get it? have you met any leprechauns? can I meet one? no, wait, even better — I should have one. Ireland should give me a leprechaun. he could live at Mar-a-Lago. have you seen my beautiful golf resort, Mar-a-Lago? beautiful. gold everywhere. the leprechaun could guard it. come on. China gave Nixon a panda. you owe me a leprechaun. where’s my fucking leprechaun, Martin?

and boom, just like that, an international incident. the Irish PM really dodged a bullet here.

of course, no press conference would be complete without the Hawking of the Merch. did you know that Donny has a golf motel in Ireland? well, you do now. Donny’s gonna make sure of it.

“we’ll end it with this. so I have a property, a big property. it’s one of the most highly-rated hotels in all of Europe, it’s beautiful. Doonbeg. six hundred acres on the ocean, and everybody’s knows it. and we have a beautiful hotel.”

wait — if America’s Grifter-in-Chief is going to turn every White House event into an infomercial, why not go the whole nine yards and turn every presser into a game show?

come on, it’s a natural. game shows are the one thing Donny’s good at. let’s have world leaders play a round of guess who’s transgender and compete for prizes.

fuck it, let’s get the Space Nazi involved. he can give away a Tesla. yeah, let’s turn every White House event into the same disgraceful dog-and-pony show we saw two days ago, with Donny and Elon reprising their just a couple of rich assholes in cars vaudeville act.

let Prime Minister Martin drive off in one of Elon’s butt-ugly Swastikcars. at least if there are prizes, it’s a reason to show up, right?

wait, does it snow in Ireland?

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here’s your daily reminder that I can be found on Blue Sky at this link.

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this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:

practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.

to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.

we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.