SignalGate is bad. StupidFuckingIdiotGate is worse.

Donny doesn’t know, and Donny doesn’t care

SignalGate — the group-chat shit-show that culminated with Piss-Drunk Pete texting classified war plans to a journalist — is pretty bad.

but there’s an even worse scandal happening alongside it: the President of the United States is a low-wattage imbecile who has no fucking clue — and can’t be bothered to care — what his own sewer clown cabinet is up to.

how mind-bogglingly insane is it that there was a discussion about fucking air strikes and the president wasn’t part of it?

I mean, look at who on the chain: the veep, the defense secretary, the secretary of state, the director of the CIA, the treasury secretary — wait, what? Scott Fucking Bessent was on the group chat? why was he looped in on war plans, but not the President of the United Fucking States? Bessent’s a bean-counter. was he there to make sure everyone submitted their expense reports?

President Dumbfuck still has no idea what a group text even is. he’s under the impression that the whole thing was some kind of conference call. listen to a barely-conscious-sounding Donny explain how Jeffrey Goldberg ended up in the group text.

“somebody in my group either screwed up, or it’s a bad signal. y’know, it’s a bad signal, happens too.”

oh, that clears it all up. no wonder screenshots of bombing schedules ended up in the pages of The Atlantic — it was a bad signal.

thanks a lot, Sundowning Grandpa Befuddlepants, you’ve been a huge help.

Donny is so fucking oblivious that when he hears people talking about Signal, he has no idea they’re talking about an app. he thinks they talking about the sound quality of a phone call. which still makes absolutely no sense, because what does the fidelity of a connection have to do with how a reporter became included in it?

welcome to StupidFuckingIdiotGate.

yesterday, four US soldiers in Lithuania were killed during a training operation. nobody in Donny’s administration thought it was important enough to tell him about it, so he heard it first from a reporter.

reporter: “have you been briefed about the soldiers in Lithuania who are missing?”
Donny: “no, I haven’t.”

no, Donny hasn’t — and he doesn’t express the slightest bit of interest about it. no, I haven’t. next question, please.

isn’t it kind of obligatory for a president to care about the troops? not Donny. he could give a shit about the lives of the soldiers he calls losers and suckers.

has there ever been a more absent president than Donny? he just doesn’t care about anyone or anything but himself. he’s lazy as fuck, watches himself on TV all morning, never shows up in the Oval Office before noon, has no clue what his own administration is up to, and spends every weekend cheating at golf at Motel-a-Lago.

imagine if Joe Biden had been asked about missing or dead soldiers and had responded with ‘huh wut?’ the worthless scribblers of the corporate-controlled press would have had a field day. Hannity would have shit roofing nails on live television. Comer Fudd would have announced a new round of impeachment hearings. Marjorie Sporkfoot Greene would have found a way to bring Hunter Biden’s freakishly ginormous trouser hog into the mix.

and nobody would have howled with faux outrage louder than Donald Fucking Trump.

yesterday President Yap-Yap speechified at a White House dog-and-pony show for Women’s History Month. you’ll be shocked to learn that he used the occasion not to praise women, but to praise himself for imaginary accomplishments.

“but we also, by the way, we lowered energy costs, truvic— really, like tremendously, energy’s way down, cost of gasoline’s way down, the cost of groceries, a word that I used a lot on the campaign, it’s like an old-fashioned word but it’s a beautiful word, very descriptive word, the groceries are coming down, Brooke, at a level that very— I mean we’re finally getting costs down in our country and people don’t like talking about it because it’s so good.”

spoiler alert: none of that shit is true — but oh look, the brain glitches are back. so is Donny’s loopy obsession with the word ‘groceries.’ somewhere along the line, Donny got it in his head that groceries was an archaic word that he personally plucked from obscurity and returned to the national discourse.

what a bizarre thing to glom credit for.

“people don’t like talking about it because it’s so good” — what does that even mean?

now get ready for the triumphant return of Dr. Hannibal Lecter.

“the mental institutions and insane asylums, same thing. insane asylum is mental institution on steroids. that’s right. insa— I say, I used to say Dr. Hannibal Lecter, the great Dr. Hannibal Lecter is in a hotel room near you. and the fake news back there, lotta fake news here, by the way, fake news would say ‘why does he keep mentioning Hannibal Lecter?’ I said you know why? ‘cause I just we just won an election. we got a lot of votes because of because of Hannibal Lecter. we don’t want to have Hannibal Lecter in our country.”

this chucklefuck still hasn’t learned the difference between political asylum and an insane asylum. he’s never going to learn and he’s never going to care.

no commemoration of Women’s History Month would be complete without an adjudicated rapist blithering on about how much he’s obsessed with fertilization.

“we’re gonna have tremendous, uh, tremendous goodies in the bag for women too. the women, between the fertilization and all the other things we’re talking about, it's gonna be, it’s gonna be great. we’re uh joined today— heh, fertilization. I’m still very proud of it, I don’t care. I’ll be known as the fertilization president and that’s o— that’s not bad.”

whatever you say, Creepy Uncle Goody Bag.

meanwhile, the rudderless Sewer Clowns, devoid of any guidance or leadership whatsoever from Donny — or Hapless Vance — continue to fuck up spectacularly.

Private contact details of the most important security advisers to U.S. President Donald Trump can be found on the internet. DER SPIEGEL reporters were able to find mobile phone numbers, email addresses and even some passwords belonging to the top officials.

To do so, the reporters used commercial people search engines along with hacked customer data that has been published on the web. Those affected by the leaks include National Security Adviser Mike Waltz, Director of National Intelligence Tulsi Gabbard and Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth.

oh, that’s just lovely. a German reporter, using publicly-available data, was able to obtain passwords and phone numbers for Donny’s top security advisors — and if a reporter can do this, you know who else can? Russian spies. Chinese spies.

Most of these numbers and email addresses are apparently still in use, with some of them linked to profiles on social media platforms like Instagram and LinkedIn. They were used to create Dropbox accounts and profiles in apps that track running data. There are also WhatsApp profiles for the respective phone numbers and even Signal accounts in some cases.

you would imagine that an incoming administration would take care to make sure that everyone locked down all their data — and not use the same passwords for their personal and government accounts. but you would be wrong, because welcome to StupidFuckingIdiotGate.

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here’s your daily reminder that I can be found on Blue Sky at this link.

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this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:

practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.

to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.

we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.