Hi everyone.
A few days ago, I had a (very public) conversation, with my number one fan, and it made me realize that I have been behaving in rather a cowardly fashion.
Since most of you are family, (dramatic pause, to swallow my pride.)
Family with whom I regularly interact, (even longer pause, inhale deeply, and even more dramatic hair toss.)
I have to confess something.
Uhm… I know you guys don’t really know this side of me. No one does. I have kept this darker side of myself hidden away, bottled up, since I was a little girl in high school, battling to survive being a teenager. As you know, it’s been many years since then, and now this thing is starting to (holding thumbs) take off, I must admit that I am more than a little embarrassed to be bringing her out into the open.
But, the longer you deny a part of yourself, the harder it is to own up to it, and when I took the leap and started this thing, I committed to doing it no matter how scary it got.
For those of you who aren’t family, this Substack persona is the only ‘me’ you will ever know. I hope that my admitting my cowardice doesn’t make you think less of me.
I hope that the family members reading this will take it as a leap of faith that I am finally ready to let you all get to know the real Jenny.
I hope you can handle her.
Previously: Logan, Luke, and Tom finally return home after months of exile and find the manor much the same as ever, except that space has been made for the girl…
INDEX | Chapter 3 | Scene 1 | Scene 2 | Scene 3 | Scene 4 | Next Scene →
Stepping out of the shower, after spending my morning in the gym which still feels new and impressively kitted out after weeks of being home, I am summoned by Luke. I dress quickly and head down the hall in the direction of Elle's room.
Tom left early for the club to teach his 'class', something he recently just started doing.
I find the new gym's variable gravity enough of a challenge and whistle as I walk. Endorphins.
Luke greets me cheerily as I pass the pair of soldiers guarding the open door. It is strange enough for him to have asked me to meet him here, but I am shocked to find Planetary Guard uniforms and freeze when I see their leader.
"You remember, General Morgan?" Luke prompts, gesturing to the middle-aged man who stands across from him at the foot of Elle's bed, holding her chart. The General looks up, warmly extending a hand in greeting.
"Logan, my boy! Come here and let me have a look at you.” He says in cliche old man style. “How long has it been? Luke has just been updating me on your cousin's condition."
I hesitate blinking and look at Luke, expecting at least some guidance to flow via our private channel but find none forthcoming, his influence oddly out of reach. Luke has a fixed impassive look on his face and stands with his feet set and his shoulders squared, glued to the spot.
Clearing my throat with a frown, I step up to shake the old man's hand, hoping futilely the long pause may have gone unnoticed.
"Uncle Victor." I return the informal greeting, clasping his hand tightly. “We haven't had the pleasure for four or five years, if I’m not mistaken, though, may I say you look just the same, only perhaps with a bit more salt in the salt and pepper than last time,” I say, speaking a touch too fast, as I remember his grim, clean-shaven face and crewcut hair and notice that his black boots are laced up as tightly as ever.
"That's right,” He muses, “You and your brother were just little whippersnappers back then, look at you now, a strapping young man! Could do with a bit of filling out but that'll come." He chuckles, "You two still doing the kung-fu thing?"
"Mixed martial arts actually. Tom is at the club now, coaching the next-gen."
"Oh yes, I remember you two were pretty good, like your old man. We have had a few of your friends enlisting as well, I hear." I stare at him, my mind racing frantically for a reply that doesn't sound petulant.
"Well, good for sure, though not good enough to make the finals." Luke chimes in at last, saving me with a little snicker. We both know that Tom and I would have breezed through the finals if it weren't for the threat of being conscripted the moment we showed skills worthy of the Planetary Guard, just like those friends of ours and our dad.
I look at my adoptive father, trying not to make my gratitude obvious as he explains for the General’s benefit, "Didn't you say that after losing so many members you were thinking of closing up shop next year? College is always an option you know." His crossed arms and frown belie his blithe tone.
"Any idea what you want to do with your future, son?" Morgan inquires a little too optimistically, obviously not picking up on the subtext.
Luke shuffles slightly. His furrowed eyebrows and clenched jaw caution 'evade', so I pause again to make a good show of gracefully seating myself in the armchair facing Elle. Then smirking, with a longing peek back towards the guarded door, I answer, "I think this conversation is probably a little over my head."
"Oh well, there's time yet to figure all that out." General Morgan grins slightly, all the expectation of a few moments ago suddenly gone, and turns his attention back to Luke.
"So, this all looks up to scratch, just a few notes-" He announces loudly, his eyes back on the chart. He flicks through it as if he knows exactly what is going on there, nodding and critiquing, "Why this drug and not that one? Could Luke have tried X or Y approach instead?"
I don’t really pay attention. Sitting in the hideous purple recliner and trying to seem inconspicuous, I consider all I know about the old man who has always been a vaguely threatening figure to Tom and I.
Victor Morgan is a pure human, middle-aged, originally a surgical resident, turned psychiatrist, turned military man, who used to be one of Alexander McKeen's friends. As far as I know Luke didn't really have a superior during his time with the Planetary Guard, he reported directly to a senior member of the Authority. Morgan, instead, acted like an agent for him, a liaison, recommending him for cases worthy of his skills. There was some falling out between them when Luke broke away from the PG after adopting us so the General's involvement in our lives has always been minimal, however, his infrequent visits were invariably followed by a tightening up of "the rules."
Something seems to have shifted in their relationship now. Luke is peculiarly tense and nervous. He shows a subtle deference, almost resignation. I wonder if it is thanks to the General that our 'lab accident' was so easily kept quiet. It certainly makes sense that, that is why he is so curious about Elle.
He questions Luke about his numerous unsuccessful attempts to wake her up, apparently well-versed in the nuance and vernacular, which explains the absence of Luke's influence. The General seems to know exactly how it works and what all the jargon means. They use terms I've never even heard before, subconscious manipulation, memory augmentation. Listening to them discuss Elle in such clinical terms, I am struck by the General's formidable intelligence, and somewhere in my subconscious it dawns on me that he must know more than he lets on about Tom and I.
After some time, Luke nods in my direction and I realize that I have missed the last part of the conversation.
"So, your arrangements have been made then?" The General asks with an authoritative tone.
"Yes, yes, only one small detail left to clear up but we are more than ready. In fact eager to get started." Luke says with a slightly squinty smile, which the General doesn't seem to notice. We?
"That is great news, just great! We'll shuttle him over first thing Monday morning." He says grinning with his hands on his hips. "You're sure just a small contingent?"
"Definitely, he won't be a problem, I guarantee the security of my lab. As usual, my greater concern is how your men might react to my process, so, the smaller the better."
The General nods satisfied, "Oh don't worry about them. I'll brief the Lieutenant myself, and the grunts well, no one really worries what they think." He smirks bitterly.
As we all leave Elle's room, the heart monitor beeps its reassuring rhythm.
Next Time: Ever seen a Grismand? It’s great big bear thing with an animalistic mind and sharp claws. And then comes a nice little hormonal distraction…
Thanks so much for reading! If you like, please:
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and as always, I love hearing what you think so, feel free to:
Quick note to say I love it and am hurrying on to the next!!!
Good scene Jenny! Misty is now a cousin of the boys, at least according to Morgan. I don't kbow why but i was slightly put off by Tom considering the purple recliner 'hideous'. Likely my fondness of the color.