Talking about a taboo subject...
Warning: mentions death and grief.
If I were to say that recently I’d become fascinated with death, you might be alarmed. But I can assure you that I’ve never felt more alive and more aware of the preciousness and GIFT of life than ever before. I am truly grateful to be alive.
Recently, I’ve known several people within my wider circle of friends who have sadly experienced sudden loss - or they have indeed passed away themselves. Every time I’ve heard of this news, I’ve gasped. Been shocked. And sometimes even surprised at how much I’ve felt this grief. Sometimes, even feeling the need to justify why I am so sad (‘Oh I wasn’t super close to them but I’m still really upset’ - as if, only certain people can grieve?). But why, when I myself have experienced the most traumatic grief of losing my own Dad, do I never seem to gasp that we are never promised a tomorrow. Life IS short. Our time here is finite.
There’s something about the series of successive and sudden passings (really - sometimes it feels as if ‘what?! NO! Someone else?’) that has really sparked something in me. Not something dark and depressive. Quite the opposite.
I am of course a human with human emotions. I’m not talking flippantly as if death and premature death isn’t hugely traumatic. But Bonnie Wrare, a speaker on Fearne Cotton’s Happy Place podcast, recently summed it up for me: death is a tool for living.
Every day now, WITHOUT fail, as someone who believes in God and that in fact, our time is infinite and eternal life is very real - I start the day saying: this is the day the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad. What if - and I’m touching a lot of wood here on everyone’s behalf -- today WAS our last day? Would we really spend it getting worked up over the small things? Each day is a precious gift — how can we truly live without regrets? How can we rejoice and be truly glad?
Getting comfortable with the idea that life (on Earth at least) isn’t forever can be truly liberating. It’s certainly empowering me to just chill out, drop the worrying, and ENJOY each day - in all its simplicity and in all its glory.
My wish for you is that you too enjoy each and every single day. Enjoy the simple things (they are the big things). And use death as a tool for living in a way that’s liberating…
Note - if you are experiencing recent loss or grief, please know you are not alone - even if it feels like it. Talk. Open up. Take it from someone who really does get it - take it day by day, moment by moment, and you will be okay!