I thought it might be worth another look and asking the questions again. How many 🪣 lists would you have, and what would be on yours?
Writing 🪣 lists?
I did at least write my list last year. It was a very different list to the one I would have written six years ago. South America was number one on our list, and we planned the details. It is not something I would want to do on my own. John, with a group of friends, did at least get to play football on Copacabana Beach. He enjoyed the game, the holiday and the company, even if he was exhausted when he got home. Definitely, one off his bucket list!
Procrastinating about writing my bucket list did get me thinking about my priorities, trying to enjoy things and getting on with life and how it might help me. I had got to the point where I realised I wanted to undertake new experiences. I can do things on my own and I am not scared of my own company. I have achieved things I am proud of in the intervening 12 months since my original 🪣 list. A writing retreat and workshop, a week long pastel painting, over 12 months on SubStack. The dogs are still as unruly and we now have a third monster, Bonnie. In fairness they are calming down and have been very good with me while I hobble around on my crutch.
When I was doing a bit of research, ok 10 seconds worth. I hadn't yet discovered rabbit 🐇 warrens or badger 🦡 sets in February last year. I came across some rather patronising advice from a personal alarm company about bucket lists, see link Bucket List Suggestions & personal 🚨. It actually suggests that maybe wrestling a lion is not a good idea, but going for a stroll or getting a personal alarm could both be added to your list. I was a bit insulted by the suggestion that doing your will and getting things in order should be there, that’s not bucket list stuff but common sense. There are some slightly more engaging ideas, like travelling on the Orient Express or travelling along Route 66, I can tick a bit of Route 66 off. I know it is an advertisement but please just because I am old it doesn’t mean I am an idiot …
In answer to how many 🪣 lists should we have. I personally would have three, so here goes:
🪣 list number 1 realistic, achievable but different things: these are reasonable and achievable, for a decrepit oldie like me.
I would like to - eat a dozen oysters at The Butley Orford Oysterage, with a glass of bubbly. The last time we went there was when Sarah was about 6 years old and I didn’t eat oysters, I do now - I did go to Orford in March last year, it was an unexpected trip. Unfortunately so did an unhealthy dose of Covid so I had to beat a hasty retreat home without my dozen oysters 🥹🥹🥹
The places I want to visit but haven't managed yet - Wales particularly where my grandfather was born, Belfast, Margate, Northumbria - go to Kelmscott Manor, William Morris’s home, no I don’t know why that’s on my bucket list either, but it is still there.
Go into London to the Tate and have a wander - I used to go to London at least once a month but I haven't been since Sarah died.
Do a plein air painting by the sea - sort of completed in Norfolk in June last year
Take a tour round Scotland for a month with both dogs and so it goes on.
🪣 list number 2 unachievable ones: These are totally off the wall ones, things I can dream about never happening. In some ways this is the easiest list as the imagination can run riot.
Wrestle a lion/shark/WWF wrestler
Drive a rally car (comments about my driving are not allowed below) - moved from my achievable list 😄
Sell five paintings people actually want to buy
Have a full day of pampering, ending in a makeover that makes me look sophisticated. Then be photographed and actually like the result
Ride a horse at a full gallop along a beach in Northumbria, preferably bare back, the horse not me
Like myself more
Stay at the George V Paris in a suite for at least three nights,
Have 3 perfectly behaved dogs - absolutely no chance
Win the lottery preferably the Euro Lottery on a week with 6 roll overs. If I'm honest one week would do very nicely thank you
Write and illustrate a book.
🪣 list number 3 just plain simple and/or silly things: As I am writing the cogs are slowly turning and moving the rusty brain, thinking of very simple things I could do on the spur of the moment. I could even buy a little bucket, put all these in and pick one out a random every so often. I could also use them as my artist's date as recommended by Julia Cameron in The Artist’s Way.
Making a picnic for myself and eating it somewhere peaceful and local
Paddling in the local river, probably in my wellies
Birdwatch regularly- it is so mindful
Finish my knitted jumper, at least for next winter. The hat on my original list was not finished and languishes in a drawer somewhere.
That’s enough of my lists. When should we do bucket lists? I know the definition is to identify things to do before you ‘kick the bucket’, implying you are either getting older or unfortunately you are ill. I would argue we should encourage everyone at any age to do one/two/three, ultimately we are all destined to kick the bucket, that’s life. Why don’t children think about bucket lists, maybe just a place to keep their ambitions, dreams, things they want to do in school holidays, or things before they get to the very old age of 12, then 18. It is not just about educational or career ambitions but things they dream of doing, things they think they would enjoy doing.
As you grow older in your 20s, 30s, 40s, you think about things you may want to do, sometimes they are only small, simple things, sometimes bigger. But then life gets in the way and they get forgotten. For example learning to knit or figure skate - build a lego camper van - sleeping under the stars - go skinny dipping in the sea at Repulse Bay, Hong Kong, I was still in my teens, and not sure youncpukd do it now - read certain books - go to places that aren’t mega trips but can help fill a day when you are bored or at a lose end - trek in Thailand, something Sarah did and absolutely loved.
The other thing about 🪣 lists is trying to make them alive and not allowing them to sit idly on dusty old shelves, or in the depths of the ether, which is where many of my work reports used to end up. I have done that by revisiting my list this month.
How many 🪣 lists would you have and what would be on them?
This seemed a very apt quote for this week:
“It is not true that people stop pursuing dreams because they grow old, they grow old because they stop pursuing dreams.”
― Gabriel García Márquez
What have I learnt this week?
It is good to revisit your 🪣 list. It gets you thinking.
A year can go very, very quickly
Little things please little minds - like going from one crutch to two and managing the dog poo puck up with Mildred and a crutch 😁
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I don’t so much have a Bucket List, it’s more of a Fuck-It List.
I.e. Fuck-it, if not now, when?
Like take a year off to focus on my writing. 😉✍️
Jo, you're an inspiration - you've really got me thinking about some ideas of my own. Thank you!