I’ve lost track of when I started moving toward a vegan diet. I’ll hazard a guess at 4 years ago. I made a lot of changes very quickly. I immediately cut animal flesh out of my diet, started experimenting with plant-based milks on my morning cereal and began collecting vegan recipes. With a start like that, I was sure I’d be fully plant-based in no time. But, 4 years on, I’m not.
Because things happen -
Sometimes, I get caught out and have to eat something with dairy in it because my blood sugars are low and there are no plant-based options accessible.
Sometimes, I tell people who are hosting me that I’m vegetarian (rather than vegan) because having to come up with something completely free of animal products would send them into a spin.
Sometimes, I simply can’t resist a sprinkle of cheese on my pizza or a decadent piece of baking from a cafe cabinet.
Doing these things used to make me feel guilty, hypocritical and a failure.
I decided to switch to a vegan diet for all the reasons - because eating more wholefood plants would be good for my health, because of the impact industrial farming has on our planet and because of the suffering animals go through in order for people to consume them & their products. I care deeply about all these things yet I still pick at the chopped chicken when I fry it for my son’s favourite dinner and I still have dairy milk in my coffee. When people ask, I say I’m “mostly vegan” because, strictly-speaking, I can’t say that I’m capital-v Vegan. But, recently, I realised that my lapses may be the very things that enable me to keep eating a 90-95% plant-based diet.
I’m an idealist and a perfectionist. I like to do things 100%, to do them properly. Yet, if I insisted on eating a 100% plant-based diet, I’d have given up years ago. I’d have declared it impossible to sustain and myself a failure. Likely, I’d have reverted to beginning my day with a bowl of cereal & milk and ending it with a family-friendly, mince-based dinner. By allowing myself the odd non-vegan product, I make it easier to continue on my plant-based path. Although not eating any animal-based food is preferable, I no longer consider myself a failure when I do. I just keep going, knowing the large majority of my choices are and will be plant-based.
My commitment is to make the most vegan choice I can in the moment. Sometimes my cravings or practicality get in the way of doing this perfectly.
Cravings, I’ve learned, are best not ignored. If I let them get too desperate, I’d throw in the towel. For example, most of the time, I have no problem passing on dessert but, occasionally, I just can’t. Such as when baked cheesecake is on offer (my favourite guilty pleasure). When I allow myself a slice, I don’t think about it again for months. Eating it a few times a year keeps me on track.
I usually take snacks such as nuts and fruit with me when I leave the house. Sometimes, though, I get caught short and, if I become light-headed while I’m out, I just have to eat whatever’s available. I can usually find something vegetarian to eat but, often, I can’t find a vegan option.
As much as I’d like to eat 100% plant-based for ethical reasons, I'm sure it’d be at the cost of my mental health. It'd require a level of diligence and social stress that I don’t have the bandwidth for.
Over the 4ish years I’ve been vegan-ish, I’ve made numerous choices every day in favour of my health and, more importantly, for the health of our planet and the animals living with us. Compared to the choices I’d have made if I’d given up on trying to eat a vegan diet, I’ve cut a lot of animal-based food out of my life, which will add up to a very significant amount over my lifetime. Rather than beat myself up over the few non-vegan choices I make, I celebrate the many more vegan ones I do make.
This experience of failing to go fully plant-based showed me the power of allowing myself to do things imperfectly. Once I digested this lesson, I began doing other things I’d been procrastinating over because I wouldn’t be able to do them perfectly -
Cleaning the car (I don’t insist on getting into every nook and cranny which used to make the job feel mammoth.)
Meditation (I let myself sneak a peak at the time or adjust my position if I’m getting uncomfortable)
Art (It doesn’t matter that I can’t draw, I just play and experiment)
Imperfection has gifted me with action and freedom.
What’s This Got To Do With You?
This piece is not to convince you to go vegan-ish (although I secretly hope it does). All this is to say that, whatever change it is that we want to make in our lives, let’s not be discouraged if we can’t do it perfectly. Failures are part of making change and accepting them enables us to keep going & to make significant improvements in our lives.
Imperfection helps us to succeed.
What’s true for you?
(Prompts for your journal or the comments)
What resonated with you and what ruffled you as you read this piece?
What would you do more of if you allowed room for failure, imperfection and doing things badly?
How can we support others who are doing things imperfectly (in a world that loves to point out other people’s stumbles)?
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I can so relate to this! I’ve used that phrase ‘mostly vegan’ and it’s mostly got confused faces in response 😂
Now I’m thinking about not using vegan as a label, and more as a descriptor of what I’d prefer to eat. A bit like those people who say they don’t eat greens ...
This arrived in my inbox at just the right time for me! I'm on annual leave this week and over the weeks since deciding I would take this time off, I've accumulated a mental list of cleaning jobs to get done while on leave. I know I'll feel better at the end of my week if I get a lot done imperfectly compared with if I get a few things done perfectly. Thanks!