"Underestimated" author Chelsey Goodan on not always being able to control the narrative--even as a writer
"It gives me the heebie jeebies that I may be misunderstood, and I have to just accept that."
This week I’m talking with Chelsey Goodan, author, keynote speaker, and screenwriter whose new book Underestimated: The Wisdom and Power of Teenage Girls launches this week!
As the mom of a 16-year-old girl, I didn’t even think twice about inviting Chelsey on to Finding the Throughline. I literally read the title of her book and was like YES.
I’m not the only one who had an instant attraction to Chelsey’s work—in the last two weeks her brand-new book has been featured on Oprah Daily and in Time magazine. It is striking a nerve.
So in addition to being an interview with a writer about her creative process, this is also an interview with someone who in on the precipice of publishing a book that having the kind of impact every author prays for.
We unpack:
The seeds of self-doubt, impostor syndrome, and people pleasing that are sown during the teenage years
Chelsey’s recipe for connecting with teenage girls
The difference between being truthful and being blunt
What helps teens (giving them space to feel their feelings) and what doesn’t (trying to fix)
How Chelsey makes meditation doable, even delightful
How to listen for inspiration
How to keep track of those inspirations so they don’t fly away
“So many of the wounds and stories we start telling ourselves originate in the teenage years.”
The mistake most well-intentioned parents make
How Chelsey deals with her biggest fear about her work–being misunderstood
Dealing with a perfectionistic inner critic
Chelsey’s “intense” relationship to time
The one cultural belief Chesley would like to vaporize
The truth that Chelsey’s had to model for the teen girls in her life
The book and online personality assessment Chelsey swears by (and uses with the teens in her life, too)
The power of friends to keep you inspired
What teens AND adults can do to find their people and make meaningful friendships
The payoff that comes from paying attention to what in your life needs to change
Using a milestone birthday–even one that’s a ways off–as fuel
The Netflix show you should watch with your teen
Lightbulb moments:
Flying your quirky flag is the best way to draw your people—friends, readers—to you
Honestly I need all the reminders I can get to to not give in to the temptation to try to fix things for your teen!
The most important way we teach is through our example—which means we have to model trusting ourselves
“Parents can go into teaching mode, and it feels like a criticism to the kid. The parent just feels like they're trying to be helpful, but the kid feels judged. For any human being, if you feel judged, walls go up no matter what.”
Specific things we mentioned:
The book and assessment StrengthsFinder 2.0 (recently rebranded to CliftonStrengths)
Rick Rubin, The Creative Act
Andra Day’s song “Rise Up”
Connect with Chelsey:
Chelsey’s book Underestimated: The Wisdom and Power of Teenage Girls
Chelsey’s Instagram
Chelsey’s TikTok
Listen to Chelsey’s episodes:
Listen to parts 2 and 3 here when they drop on Wednesday and Friday of this week!
Listen to previous episodes:
Sarah Montana, part 3: The art of the ask, finding the right role models, and “horn-y” music
Jodie Noel Vinson, part 1: Saving time to stare at the sky + writing about the “shadow side of life”
Jodie Noel Vinson, part 2: Saying your big dreams out loud + so many awesome reading recommendations
Jodie Noel Vinson, part 3: Claiming the title "writer" + acknowledging your privilege