Hope is a verb
and always requires action
Hello friend,
If you have followed me for any length of time, you know hope is a theme that comes up often in these weekly posts. I often wonder what drives this obsession, and I found the answer in my innate perfectionism.
Until this week, I believed this trait required purging or at the least control. I’ve read all the books telling me what I should and shouldn’t do, but nowhere did I find an explanation for why I always see the world as a place of endless opportunity.
Somewhere in the many newsletters I subscribe to, I came across The Perfectionist’s Guide to Losing Control: A Path to Peace and Power by Katherine Morgan Schafler. She is a psychotherapist, author, speaker, staunch supporter, and advocate for mental health. When I came across this statement, I finally understood more about how I move in the world.
Perfectionists never stop noticing the gulf between reality and the ideal, and they never stop longing to actively bridge the gap. The noticing and the longing last a lifetime, hence the psychical constancy to perfectionism. (p. 29)
I only wish I had read this fifty years ago. But would I have listened?
It doesn’t matter.
We all have unique traits that shape how we see life and experience thoughts and relationships. Thank goodness one size does not fit all.
Schafler reminds readers and her clients:
On the day you were born, you were worthy of all the love, joy, freedom, connection, and dignity in the world simply because you were in it. All of that is still true. Everything you achieve in this life is just the clapping after the song. You are the song. (p. 37)
My optimistic, hopeful, idealist self wants every child and every adult to know this truth about themselves. Schafler’s single statement holds the power to change perceptions, attitudes, and actions.
Hope? We all have it. Hope gets us out of bed in the morning.
Hope pushes us into the unknown.
Hope comforts when all seems lost.
Hope is possibility.
A poem and a poet inspired a daughter’s fervent question: Is there hope?
Look to our youth for wisdom. Student Ethan Hart speaks to the power of hope and self-worth. And, he is dyslexic, but that does not stop his spirit.
Three songs for hope: “Don’t Stop Believin’,” “Reach Out and Touch Somebody’s Hand,” and “I Hope You Dance.”
"Hope just means another world might be possible, not promised, not guaranteed. Hope calls for action; action is impossible without hope."
—Rebecca Solnit
If you want to read more from me, visit my website. I’ll be there waiting for you.
With gratitude,
Kathryn
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What a beautiful and inspiring piece of writing this is, dear Kathryn. I love that you have so much hope. I feel it encourages others to have similar hope in their own lives through reading your poignant post. I love, love, love the quote from Schafler - so much so that I sent it to a particularly kind and sensitive friend, who loved it as much as I do. Thank you for sharing your wonderful thoughts and experiences here. I so appreciate them, even if I don't always leave a comment. I can assure you I read each one. With love, Ellie Xox 😘