Hello dear readers,
My last post generated some deep conversations and sharing in the comments. One of my hopes when I started this newsletter last year, was to create space for thoughtful discussion and active participation. So, thank-you for being here. I’m grateful for the engagement. It fuels me.
I have a confession to make. We’re only four days in to 2024, and I feel over-stuffed already.
I’ve become a voracious reader. I’ve been reading newsletters and essays online, listening to audiobooks and indulging in reading (and marking up) real live ‘in the flesh’ books.
Discovering writers through Substack has been a true gift. However, I’ve been overdoing it at the Substack buffet and it’s time to slim down and FOCUS.
The reading I’ve done has sparked a lot of thoughtful reflection, learning, insight, creativity (I started painting and drawing!), but also doubt, regret and frustration.
Why?
Because it’s January, and you can’t escape the topic of setting goals, intentions, planning, calendars and how to achieve success in 2024 and beyond. It’s everywhere.
As a result, I found myself diving into old patterns of thinking and doing. Doing being the operative word here.
There is so much being offered online. In addition to reading, you can sign up for and attend workshops, courses, retreats, follow celebrity writers or wellness guru’s and it’s fantastic. It can also be too much.
Don’t get me wrong, I am participating in workshops and courses and I subscribe to great writers (well-known and not so well known.) And, I’m getting great value from each of them.
But, somewhere along the way, I started grabbing and snacking on almost every one I came across. I didn’t want to miss out. I wanted to discover what the ‘secret’ to success as a writer was.
Here is what I’ve discovered in the frenzy that is January goal-setting, planning and mapping out your year—which is really just another form of making resolutions.
There is a season. And some of us may not be in that particular season right now.
If you have spent a lifetime goal setting, strategy planning and communicating with people day in and day out, and built a successful career, business, family, life…. Then guess what? You already KNOW HOW TO DO THESE THINGS.
If you’ve come to Substack because you wanted to express your creative side, write, or experiment with different styles of writing—this can be your goal.
It doesn’t have to be about numbers—likes, subscribers, making money. Although, it CAN be.
It can also be a place of refuge from those things. It can be a place to write, reflect and engage with your fellow writers. It can be a place to explore new areas of interest.
AND THAT’S OK.
Being a businesswoman and in senior leadership positions for decades, I can clearly see the pattern and the formula’s being used to build brands, sell stuff and make money on this platform.
I start to get itchy and sucked into the vortex because I’m wired that way. Both to make money and buy stuff.
Someday, I may want to make money on here, but not TODAY.
And that’s OK.
The pull to do what I do best, jump in with both feet and GO, is very strong. I’m having to resist it because I know what I need to do right now, and it’s the opposite of that.
I need to recover and heal my body and mind.
And that’s OK.
Sometimes though it feels like I’m an alcoholic and I’m walking into a bar when I click into Substack. Or a kid in a candy store. I love it and I also recognize it’s playing with my mind.
Work is my addiction. So, when I see this turn into a work-thing, I fall into the vortex deeply, when what I need to do is step back and take a breath.
If you are finding your reason for coming to Substack is morphing into something you weren’t expecting or wanting, take a breath and stop for a beat.
Your season (and reason) might be to grow your business and expand your audience. This is a good thing. But, it may not be the right thing for you right now.
And that’s OK.
I can feel myself leaning into the pressure. I’m also understanding writers don’t make a lot of money, so the answer for many is to peddle their “how to’s” to other fledgling writers.
And that’s OK.
But, what I’m learning is you don’t have to go all in with every one of them. They don’t all have the answer. (Unless you’re learning to make sourdough,
has the answers.)Most of the time though, the answer is already inside of you.
After tasting a smattering of different dishes here at the Substack smorgasbord and getting those familiar feelings of overwhelm, I’m deciding to home in on two or three to focus my energy on. Not just in terms of parting with cold hard cash, but also in terms of time.
When I’ve COMPLETED what I set out to learn from those fine people, I will move onto what might interest me next.
I suppose I have inadvertently set a goal—stop gorging myself on everything in front of me.
It’s all so good, but… It has left me feeling stuffed, overwhelmed and not unlike laying on the couch paralyzed in a food coma after Thanksgiving dinner.
There are so many great places to visit, writers to read, courses to take, whether on this platform or others. And, depending on what you are looking for, you can find it. Even things you weren’t looking for.
I got off track at some point.
I’m going to find my way back to my original hope (goal?) for why I’m here—to improve my writing skills, find my writing style and voice, experiment with different genres, find a community of people to engage and share shit with. This is the season I am in.
Maybe, someday, if I can fire up on all pistons, I’ll launch myself into the business of writing again. But, not today.
I want to fail, make mistakes and not feel I have to hit it out of the park, every damned time. I want to flow freely without the pressure of constant expectations. I’ve lived a lifetime this way and it’s time to try a new way.
And that’s OK.
Keep (un)Learning. KVB. Xo
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This is supposed to be fun. Writing is always work, but it should fulfill you, not drain. Same for being in this community. ❤ It should be fun, not a drain. Happy 2024, Kim. xo
It's a great point. I definitely over did it as well, to the detriment of the number of books I read in 2023.