For decades, at year’s-end, I’ve read through “Notable Deaths of (Year)” in the New York Times. In 2023, almost 400 lives were included, although not the three women profiled below. This trio didn’t play on the national stage; their efforts were more focused. Yet I write about them because they did leave their mark on a community of their choosing. And they certainly left their mark on me.
Margaret (“Midge”) was born into wealth in 1952. I met her a decade ago through her generous support of a nonprofit organization Paula founded, “Friends of Ngong Road” (FoNR), which supports children in Nairobi, Kenya who have lost one or both parents to HIV/AIDS. For years, Midge successfully battled serious health issues. She distrusted conventional medicine and became an avid vegan. “Avid” might be the best word to describe Midge: avid, passionate, outspoken. She cared, she advocated, she acted. Her obituary cited her “vibrant, undeniable energy in every room she entered.”
Our last direct encounter with Midge came four years ago, a group trip to Africa, when she looked haggard but insisted she was healthy and cancer-free. Three years later, however, cancer won out. Shortly after her death, FoNR learned it would receive 10% of Midge’s estate. A $400,000 partial payment arrived last month; a final, slightly larger payment is expected soon. If there’s a downside to being outspoken, it can alienate some people… and Midge did. Had she lived another decade, she may have wearied of FoNR, or it of her, who knows? As is, her bequest will enhance a program already generating remarkable results. Kids who never knew Midge will benefit from her generosity, a positive mark, indeed.
Mary was born in 1935 and spent most of her life in Chicago. We met shortly after she moved to North Iowa in 2009, her mother’s home turf. Mary was intelligent and well-read, opinionated and committed to doing what she could to create community. She loved to host, to entertain, and to bring eclectic friends together… for drinks and dinner, perhaps an informal program, but primarily for conversation.
Every Memorial Day weekend, Mary invited extended family throughout the country to visit North Iowa and sample small-town charm. For me to be included – generally with the expectation that I’d lead a tour or make a presentation or sing a few songs! – is evidence that Mary supplemented her blood family with a local “family of choice”. Mary also traveled. Fifteen years ago, she fell in love with Canada’s Prince Edward Island, bought vacation property there, and invited Paula and me to visit. She told me in advance about her Canadian Independence Day party, asking me to lead in the singing of “O Canada” before we’d zealously defend Iowa’s claim as “Buffalo Bill’s” birthplace, dismissing comparable boasts from PEI. As with most of Mary’s requests, I complied.
A decade ago, Mary asked if I would join her on the board of the Iowa Barn Foundation (IBF), an organization dedicated to preserving Iowa’s rural agricultural structures. The Foundation was launched in 1997 by Jacqueline (“Jackie”), who served as IBF board chair for two-plus decades. In 1949, Jackie’s eleventh year, her father was named Dean of Agriculture at Iowa State University, which may help explain her abiding interest in Iowa barns. Jackie was a journalist and an author, committing countless hours to various causes and interests: folk art, cultural understanding, history, and historic preservation. In its first quarter century, IBF helped save and restore hundreds of Iowa barns. Throughout it all, Jackie served as impetus and instigator, investigator and insistent voice.
Mary passed away in May, Jackie in December. Along with Midge, I count these notable women among my 2023 losses, committed activists who would show up, speak up, and step up to help address critical situations. All three devoted considerable time, energy, and resource to leaving their mark, to making a difference. In ways both large and small, I’d say they succeeded.
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I’m pleased to be part of the Iowa Writers’ Collaborative. These are my colleagues: