Its been said that comparison is the thief of joy..
I have realized that it is also the thief of WHAT COULD BE..
I went to NYC for the us open, been back a few times and I realized that “New York is not the same.” I lived there, raised kids there, built a church there and loved living there..
But being gone and going back, nothing feels like it used to feel. Perhaps the question is has NYC changed? Or have I changed? If the latter is absolutely true, why then would I even expect or want it to feel the same? I’m different! it should be different! Realizing that helped me enjoy a new experience in NYC and build some fresh and new memories..
I relate all of this to my new life and my new marriage. We decided to not try to “save” our last marriage. Too much pain, too much heartache, too far gone. By starting a new one with the same person (key factor there!) we put ourselves in position to no longer compare anything to what was. For the good and the bad, and enjoy what is, for exactly what it is.. if you have ever struggled with trying to start something new and juggling old memories and comparisons and internal mental stories, I think it might be beneficial for you as well to let go of what was and be free to enjoy what is and what is “becoming”.. especially if you have endured marriage heartbreak, realizing in fact NO, things will never be the same, is actually a huge blessing and momentum builder. It doesn’t have to equate to that being a bad thing.
Here are some of the things that I’ve realized will never be the same and accepting that has given me newfound freedom.
