April 13 - 24, 2022 - Hereford, England - Places
Let me start this story with answering the most common question I received when talking about my planned 10 days Vipassana Meditation Course:
"What?! 10 days not talking? Are you sure YOU can do this? I certainly could not do it..."
The answer: The silence, especially while being surrounded by nature, was definitely one of the parts I most enjoyed.
The blossom I observed opening over the 10 days. The only picture I took on the day of departure to keep as a visual memory.
Why is it, that we humans are scared of 10 days without human interaction? What happens if you add the rule of locking all digital devices, all books, pens, notebooks and my travel snack bag into a locker for 10 days too?
May I introduce story #8: „The Vipassana Meditation Course or learning Dhamma, a way of living a bit more beautifully“
Since 8 is the lucky number in Chinese culture, it feels kind of right to finally finalise and share this story out of bed in Bahia Inglesia, waiting for the sun to come out through a thick layer of fog. Wish us luck. It‘s 12 degress at the beach and Laura & I are desperate to play a round of Beachvolleyball in the sun.
As a little preface, this is not a detailed description of the 10 days schedule nor a full-fledged thesis about the theory of Vipassana. You can find a more detailed overview of the course schedule here.
It will be an attempt to put my personal experience into words.
To give a little context, let‘s with a short explanation on the most used terms.
In a nutshell, I would summarize it as the following: „Vipassana Meditation is a technique of systematically scanning the body without any reaction to the sensations arising and passing, which allows us to experience the reality as it is and through that the basic law of nature, that everything is constantly changing.“
Some key insights on the theoretical level that helped me to understand the emotions and experiences that arose during the 240h of meditation:
We can observe reality as it is through acknowledging our body sensations raising & passing, not through thoughts about the past or future
another often used way to run away from pain is diversion (Netflix, Candy Crush or Glas of wine) through which we however push negativity deeper into the unconscious instead of facing it
Whenever an emotion either craving or aversion starts, two things happen: The breath changes its natural rhythm and body sensations start to appear, like heat, tight knots in the stomach area or pulsing veines
We can choose to act in two ways: We can try to change outside, like your partners’ or your colleagues‘ behavior, or to start working inside.
The technique doesn’t teach indifference, it rather increases the sensitivity towards others and their challenges too
So, how was it?
The strict schedule with a wake-up bell at 4am and ending with lights out on the grounds at 9.30pm, a total of 12h of meditation theory and practice, the clear hours dedicated to eating tasty food twice a day (I was hungry yes, but surprisingly only once or twice a day for a few minutes) as well as resting, all of it helped to fully emerse myself in the path ahead of me. The clear schedule, yet not knowing what to expect day by day, actually helped to put my otherwise primed to be on alert brain into a mode of „whatever will happen, happens“.
Not talking was compensated by hours of observing the ridicoulous amount of shallow and deep thoughts that crossed my mind (from work emails to feeling love for my close one's), the most interesting dreams emerging my state of slumber (Harry Potter style stories) and by listening to my inner voice commenting on all that was happening and keeping me good company.
The thoughest part of the journey was definitely to find a proper seating position. Once I accepted the fact that the lotus position is not (yet) compatible with my level of flexibility, I found a seating position uncomfortable enough to not fall a sleep after 5 minutes, yet comfortable enough to endure a full hour and even more.
Yet the biggest insight was how an equanimity with the ups and downs of body sensations („my leg hurts, it's okay it will pass“ / „my body shivers nicely, yes this will also pass“) and the roller coaster of the mind ("I'm angry because I'm not allowed to use my hot water bottle in the meditation hall!“ / „I'm craving the peanut butter sandwich for breakfast so badly, but it‘s another 2h to go…") actually led to more compassion and true feelings for others and the outside world.
Moment of Yuanfen
The moment came towards the end of course, when we were allowed to talk again.
The first thing I did: Having a shower to hide from the chatter erupting on the grounds. I just didn‘t feel the need to talk to anybody just now.
However, it was a wonderful display of Yuanfen, once I did feel ready to face my fellow students: I was drawn to a handful of wonderfully inspiring individual immediately.
Yes, I have to admit that I couldn't help but take sneak peaks at the other students during the 10 days and feeling a connection to some of them even without talking or any form of facial or body language communication:
Aiesh & I had a sync on our daily schedules, walking at the same time of the days in the forest or taking naps under the trees.
Rabia & I already sat next to each other on the coach bus where talking was still allowed and had our roums next to each other.
Geeta sat in front of me in the meditation hall and I couldn't help wonder which Asian background she was carring inside her and what life story was behind her air of calm yet strong determination during meditation (yes, I sometimes opened my eyes)
And finally Rahel, also one of the under the tree sitter, who was taking part in the course quite visibly for two individuals. I really wanted to know how this course goes along with pregnancy. (Perfectly well as it seemed!)
At this point a big thank you to you beautiful ladies, for your inspiration both in private as well as working context!
Whether as mothers, business owners, doctors, as partners in patch work, traditional, open or no relationships or as individuals, I could clearly feel that this course brings people from all walks of life together, regardless of Culture, background or skin color.
It also taught me that we humans all (or most of us) share a wish to live beautifully without harming others on purpose, that we thrive in helping others, listening and caring for our families and jobs and hobbies alike.
In a recent Beauty Shot, the weekly Newsletter of the "House of Beautiful Business“ Community it was mentioned that we spend on average 4000 weeks on this planet, in reference to the book „Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals,” by Oliver Burkeman. Businesses in the US survive on average for 300 weeks.
The article also mentioned that we sometimes run from one appointment to the next, trying to tick an never ending to-do list along the way, planning or worrying what might happen in the future, while analysing last year's company and life performance.
What if we really live more often in the very moment?
What if we stop worrying or craving for a future state or indulge in thoughts about the past?
If there is one thing I would recommend to any person that can afford to take out time for a 10 days experiment: Do a Vipassana Meditation course.
It definitely didn't change me as a person dramatically. However, being off the phone for such a long period, experiencing a few minutes of total "being in the moment“ and to be given a technique to continue afterwards was worth every single moment of the journey.
Yes, I still struggle to keep up a regular meditation practice. Travelling helps and does not help to establish routines such as 2h of meditation a day. Sometimes I manage 5min, sometimes 45min and some days meditation doesn’t fit into the schedule just yet.
However, the little sparks of just observing what is, instead of instantly reacting already helped in a few situations, eg. unfriendly car rentals personell or not working wifi connections.
And imagining that not only l, but also Rabia, Rahel, Geeta and Aiesh have these little moments where they too have their moments of living a bit more beautifully, by being less reactive to what happens out there anyway, well this gives me an incredible sense of power.
It doesn't matter how many of the total 4000 weeks we've already spent on earth. We all have the means to start today to live a little bit different, a little bit more beautiful.
And yes, it is totally okay to remain reactive in 95% of the cases. I still hate pushy cars on the highway. Or mosquitos that bite me during the night. But I do try to deal to them a little bit more patiently. And that is at least already something, isn't it?
To close with the words of Monica, Tim & Till from the House of Beautiful Business:
„If we’re terminal both as humans and businesses, what do we really leave behind if not the beauty by which we behaved? Perhaps this is the best way to prevent succumbing to the pressures of time—the conscious, collective memory to live and work beautifully today, and trust that it will still be here tomorrow.“
Links to further deep-dive:
If you do want to get a more detailed glimpse into the 10 days Vipassana Meditation course schedule and haven‘t decided to go full in with 240h of meditation just now, I highly recommend starting with this 26min podcast on BBC: https://www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/w3ct0wkg
The website to sign-up for the Vipassana courses: https://www.dhamma.org/en/index
or follow Jarin, a fellow House of Beautiful Business resident, who did the course as part of his 3 months sabbatical in Sierra Nevada: https://jarintabata.medium.com/on-sabbatical-ef08b90d2548
If you are curious about the House of Beatiful Business in general, as it was mentioned quite a few times by now: https://houseofbeautifulbusiness.com
…and finally, if you are new to the concept of Yuanfen, you find a short introduction here.
P.S. after 2h of editing this text, the sun is out now. This story was really meant to be published today. Thank you Yuanfen!