Who is Lazy Susan?
Misogyny in football and society is the subject of my second free ‘Football Fable’
Lazy Susan, my second Football Fable, has been released. It is free to read with the link attached to this artwork. I hope Susan will have some of the impact on you she’s had on me. Below, I explain who she is, and why I wrote it.
I actually wrote the story last winter, but recently Susan has been on my mind a lot. The misogyny at the heart of the story is sadly, particularly timely. Perpetrators are in the headlines, but usually these things happen away from the spotlight. And it’s sickening to see those who looked the other way rebrand themselves as part of the solution.
Before I introduce the characters, I want to explain why Lazy Susan is set in Scotland. It’s partly because I studied the history of the women’s game there, but also because it’s a country I have a deep fascination and a passion for. Culturally, there is nothing that comes close for me. I can’t fully explain why I love the people and the place so much. But I do.
From the early memories of cheering the Scotland football team when playing England because of my Liverpool idol Kenny Dalglish, slightly controversial for a boy from south London with no apparent family link to Scotland.
Music is a big part of it - over half of my favourite bands are from Scotland. From Idlewild to Biffy Clyro, and going back to Fiction Factory and Deacon Blue. Primarily, the Cocteau Twins. There is nothing in music, football, art, anything, that has the same heavenly effect as a few minutes of a Cocteau Twins song.
Scottish films too. Lazy Susan is far removed from the classic Gregory’s Girl, but the humour and warmth of the film had a big influence on me. It’s just so bloody lovely. The concept ‘something nice might happen’ inspired this piece a year ago:
https://open.substack.com/pub/leewellings/p/something-nice-might-happen?r=1mq3dz&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web
I’m not just an ‘armchair’ lover of Scotland. I formed special bonds during my reporting experiences north of the border over the years. Not least the humble heroism of a firefighter-footballer at The Clutha pub tragedy, when a helicopter crashed into a pub in central Glasgow on a Friday night a decade ago. I asked for this man’s trust to tell his story and he gave it to me. We still have each other’s backs. Frank is a legend and it’s a privilege to have his friendship.
But most of my work in Scotland has been on women’s football. I headed up there originally because I wanted to tell the story of female footballers dating back centuries. In 2017, I reported on the campaign for women’s football to be seen, to inspire new generations of girls to play through the main league having ore prominence and backing. Things have progressed – I’m able to the weekly highlights and some live matches on BBC Scotland – but the women’s game could still do with more attention, respect and prominence.
I started to learn more about Rose Reilly. Her story is incredible, and though it became part of Scottish football folklore, it really isn’t known beyond the borders. So you can imagine how pleased I was when fellow Horsham FC fan Neil came up and talked to me about Rose’s story, which has captured his imagination. He’d read about her in my book The Dilly Dong Bell – which was packed with stories from thirty years reporting on sport. Two Englishmen, at a seventh-tier men’s ‘non-league’ match, discussing a legend of Scottish women’s football. I only wish such conversations were more commonplace.
A key character in Lazy Susan is Irene, and though she is not Rose Reilly, the character was inspired by Rose’s story. Irene shares her indefatigability, courage and dignity.
In a perfect society Susan, the victim of misogyny and a rough childhood, wouldn’t need help, and she certainly has determination and spirit. But that’s not how it works. She needs a hand. Irene sees her. Sometimes everyone needs a hand to pull them up. If only the football coaches who dismissed and labelled Susan had shown her more respect. Davie sees it, eventually. It’s up to you whether you think that’s good enough, or it came too late.
The third of the main characters is Rif. She developed from a report on my favourite TV sport programme, A View From The Terrace, the weekly Scottish football fanzine that shows what can be achieved with humour and a heart. The report was about a girl who’d been the victim of a sexual assault finding her confidence and freedom of expression through football. It brought me to tears. Writing Rif’s story was an intense, emotional experience.
“Confidence and dignity, that Rif had forged, and brought others with her. The strength and talent within. What had been hidden, suppressed, but what that cowardly bastard couldn’t take away.”
I hope you take the opportunity to read Lazy Susan, I haven’t made it free by accident along with my first Football Fable - The Footballer Who Kicked A Tortoise. (link to read free at bottom of this article).
First and foremost, they are there to be read. Only in the past few days have I realised these two stories are more closely linked than I first realized. Elite football, social media and all media have responsibilities in dealing with misogyny and acting properly. But collectively they don’t.
Lazy Susan is a fable not a screenplay (though who knows where it might lead). So, there are no screen directions. But I ask a small thing of you. Please imagine a soundtrack of the Cocteau Twins and if there’s one song that was in my mind most during writing it’s the sublime and deeply beautiful Carolyn’s Fingers.
But the words of a song that feel most fitting for come from a song named Peach by American band Future Islands. You’ll see the link between the words and the ‘cover’ art by my daughters.
I’m not giving up.
Not today, not today…
Please if you see my hand
Just pull me out.
God bless you Susan. And may you all be seen, understood and supported, whoever you are, and whatever life is bringing you.
Lee x
Football Fables is the first collection of short stories by Lee Wellings, an author who spent 30 years in media working for companies including Sky, BBC and ITN. New stories will be released each month, usually on the first Friday. The first two stories are free to read. From November a small monthly subscription will be introduced.
More details about Football Fables at the bottom of this article. This is how the collection of ten looks:
The Footballer Who Kicked A Tortoise (free to read, link available on this site)
Lazy Susan (free to read, link available on this site)
The Check
The Man Who Murdered Football (Coming soon)
A Tale of Two Clubs
Ref!
Superstition
Tie a Yellow Scarf
I Wear Eleven
Golden Eras