Here’s a little about me to get the thread started:
Wife. Bonus parent to 2 adult kids. Dog mom. New grandma!
Call me LL! So easy to type!
Never met a carbohydrate I didn’t like, aannnd, I’ve had to go gluten-free. MY JOINTS THANK ME DAILY!
Skeeved out by bugs, giant puppets, people who vape on Zoom.
Started smoking and drinking when I was ten years old.
Tried to stop smoking for twenty years; I quit without trying by merely landing in India. (You can read the full story in Blissful Thinking, that event launched nearly a decade of earnest wellness-seeking!)
I taught yoga and meditation internationally before moving to Florida and becoming a healthy lifestyle talking head on the Home Shopping Network, my current “day job” which is really a 24-hour cycle and why scheduling sprints is tricky.
Believe it’s my calling to undo the damage done by negative self-help messaging.
I was hooked by self-help negging for a decade.
My sixth grade biology expedition was cancelled at the last minute or I might’ve become a marine biologist. I fucking love science.
Okay, now your turn! Tell us a bit about yourself with the following prompts:
Call me Trish, also known as Pat, Fatty Patty in middle school!
I love teaching, mentoring, learning and have finally learned to love myself
I’m terrified I won’t have the courage needed to find my readers. So many like me who believe courage skipped them, hiding their wounds behind a veil of perfection. Why is it so hard to drop the mask?
In writing my novel, PAPER BAGS, I exposed my own gender curiosities. Loving a trans femme character via autofiction, broke every rule, boundary, even catechism I followed all my life. Any pretense that I was a perfect Mom dissolved in the eyes of my children. Maybe they’ll get over it. Either way, it’s my story.
I wrote my story in the hopes it would be a bridge to open a conversation about gender fluidity, from the POV of a woman with a Puritan upbringing, driving a semi down the highway at 75 mph and slamming into a concrete wall draped in red lace lingerie. Desire, curiosity, forbidden love, perversion, the gamut of emotions—all in a dream of leaving a legacy of hope—here in the “Don’t Say Gay” state of Florida 🥹 As they say when they shake your hand at graduation, “Good Luck!”
At some point in my childhood I wanted to be a marine biologist too! I don't know why; perhaps because I liked octopuses? (I still like octopuses, but I'm quite uncomfortable around large bodies of water, so it would have been a bad career choice 😂)
What do I love? Apart from my husband and kids, I love reading and writing. I'm THAT exciting and original 😂
Well, I’ve never heard that story before, the marine biologist who feared being around large bodies of water? Sounds like the plot to classic hero’s journey story! Welcome, Zena!
Diana (NOT Diane!) D, diana moon by some old friends, & homie.
What do you love?
My wife, family, and friends, my fat cat Chester, quiet time, intelligent people, kindness, compassion, thoughtful open conversations.
What scares you?
Abandonment, failure, disappointing those I love, global warming, and war.
What have you given up to be who you are today?
Childhood confidence and dreams, fearlessness, alcohol,
Believe it’s my calling to…
Care for my mother until the end. Speak my truth without compromise, live my life wide open, live my life in such a way that helps others to find self love. (I’m a work in progress.)
I hope, someday, to write again, if only for myself.
Love- my three adult children, Amy (journalist in N. C. ) Carly (Finance in NYC), Andre (solar panel sales in Colorado), babies, shih tzus and other adorable little furball doggies, humor, Stephen McCauley, my brother David
Fears- Republicans and other greedy politicians, civil war mongers and other terrorists, hate speech, guns, climate change, mean selfish people, my financial situation, viruses, and sorry if it's irrational but I am afraid of pitbulls also
I've given up on my ex-husbands and men in general
I believe it's my calling to-- give love and help to kids-- I am a teacher
My question for you is --What do you mean by negative self-help messaging?
Hi Kim! I could’ve included politicization of all things, too, that is something to be afraid of! And you ask an excellent question.
Self-help messaging isn’t a genre like “self-help,” but can arise from the output, creating a perpetual hunt for what’s wrong with you or someone else or your environment. For me it had all the hallmarks of addiction, the thrill of discovery, the masochism of wanting more, the inevitable deflation. I could write a whole thing on this. I will! Thanks!
Thanks. I am grateful (through a lot of mutual work), we have the kind of relationship I never thought we could. We came from them, but we are our own.
My name is Emillio and I added an extra L because my mother’s name has two and I am my paternal grandfather’s namesake.
People think I am social because of what I do, but I am really an introvert passing as an extrovert.
I love creating a curated evening: food, people, decor for great conversations.
I had an eating disorder from 13-22 and I ended up working with food (part of my hospitality-special events services) l cook, design, and host private dinner parties and have won awards for it.
Stupid people scare me because they are dangerous.
What I gave up, when I was 16, was my mother’s approval so that I could create my own life, by my design. That’s when I left home.
My calling is to connect people and with them to start conversations, so that we can all learn from each other, to always move forward, and with health.
I am LOVING this! I relate to you even more now. Because giving up on getting Mom's approval doesn't equal giving up on Mom. And I know that's true for you, too, Emillio! xoxo
What a powerful read, Christy! I really needed that. I love how you put it Dash that you gave up your right to protect yourself, and that it makes for authentic, satisfying relationships. Hear hear!
Call me Trish, also known as Pat, Fatty Patty in middle school!
I love teaching, mentoring, learning and have finally learned to love myself
I’m terrified I won’t have the courage needed to find my readers. So many like me who believe courage skipped them, hiding their wounds behind a veil of perfection. Why is it so hard to drop the mask?
In writing my novel, PAPER BAGS, I exposed my own gender curiosities. Loving a trans femme character via autofiction, broke every rule, boundary, even catechism I followed all my life. Any pretense that I was a perfect Mom dissolved in the eyes of my children. Maybe they’ll get over it. Either way, it’s my story.
I wrote my story in the hopes it would be a bridge to open a conversation about gender fluidity, from the POV of a woman with a Puritan upbringing, driving a semi down the highway at 75 mph and slamming into a concrete wall draped in red lace lingerie. Desire, curiosity, forbidden love, perversion, the gamut of emotions—all in a dream of leaving a legacy of hope—here in the “Don’t Say Gay” state of Florida 🥹 As they say when they shake your hand at graduation, “Good Luck!”
I just bought your book I can’t wait to read it, Trish! Also, FL?? How did I have I no idea you were also in the Sunshine State?
I’m in Naples but I try to keep it on the QT calling it Southwest FL 🥰
And thank you for buying my book, can’t wait to get your feedback.
Ha, same! Southeast FL here, Tampa area.
At some point in my childhood I wanted to be a marine biologist too! I don't know why; perhaps because I liked octopuses? (I still like octopuses, but I'm quite uncomfortable around large bodies of water, so it would have been a bad career choice 😂)
What do I love? Apart from my husband and kids, I love reading and writing. I'm THAT exciting and original 😂
Well, I’ve never heard that story before, the marine biologist who feared being around large bodies of water? Sounds like the plot to classic hero’s journey story! Welcome, Zena!
What name do you like to go by?
Diana (NOT Diane!) D, diana moon by some old friends, & homie.
What do you love?
My wife, family, and friends, my fat cat Chester, quiet time, intelligent people, kindness, compassion, thoughtful open conversations.
What scares you?
Abandonment, failure, disappointing those I love, global warming, and war.
What have you given up to be who you are today?
Childhood confidence and dreams, fearlessness, alcohol,
Believe it’s my calling to…
Care for my mother until the end. Speak my truth without compromise, live my life wide open, live my life in such a way that helps others to find self love. (I’m a work in progress.)
I hope, someday, to write again, if only for myself.
Diana-- yes! Did you see the writing prompts?? Some really great starters to get you going!
I didn’t see the prompts. Where can I find them?
Scroll down this latest issue! https://llkirchner.substack.com/p/notable-september-what-is-self-help?r=b4lx&utm_medium=ios
Thank you, Lisa! I'll check it out.
love your work - so thrilled for you - can't WAIT to read the new book!!!
Name I like Kim or Kimberly
Love- my three adult children, Amy (journalist in N. C. ) Carly (Finance in NYC), Andre (solar panel sales in Colorado), babies, shih tzus and other adorable little furball doggies, humor, Stephen McCauley, my brother David
Fears- Republicans and other greedy politicians, civil war mongers and other terrorists, hate speech, guns, climate change, mean selfish people, my financial situation, viruses, and sorry if it's irrational but I am afraid of pitbulls also
I've given up on my ex-husbands and men in general
I believe it's my calling to-- give love and help to kids-- I am a teacher
My question for you is --What do you mean by negative self-help messaging?
I wrote about it! https://llkirchner.substack.com/p/notable-september-what-is-self-help?r=b4lx&utm_medium=ios
Hi Kim! I could’ve included politicization of all things, too, that is something to be afraid of! And you ask an excellent question.
Self-help messaging isn’t a genre like “self-help,” but can arise from the output, creating a perpetual hunt for what’s wrong with you or someone else or your environment. For me it had all the hallmarks of addiction, the thrill of discovery, the masochism of wanting more, the inevitable deflation. I could write a whole thing on this. I will! Thanks!
What name do you like to go by?
Lou
What do you love?
Dogs, making curries, writing, reading, roller skating, all kinds of music, looking at people who are looking at people
What scares you?
Dishonest people, underwater/out of my depth in the ocean
What have you given up to be who you are today?
The idea of being in control. As well as alcohol, cigarettes and bad boys
Believe it’s my calling to…
Help people be them best selves, share my writing so that folks can see themselves in there and have a laugh. Get to Buenos Aires before I die.
Lou! Hello, darling! Kudos on giving up the baddies, one of the hardest addictions to drop! Thank you so much for chiming in here. Xo
Thanks. I am grateful (through a lot of mutual work), we have the kind of relationship I never thought we could. We came from them, but we are our own.
My name is Emillio and I added an extra L because my mother’s name has two and I am my paternal grandfather’s namesake.
People think I am social because of what I do, but I am really an introvert passing as an extrovert.
I love creating a curated evening: food, people, decor for great conversations.
I had an eating disorder from 13-22 and I ended up working with food (part of my hospitality-special events services) l cook, design, and host private dinner parties and have won awards for it.
Stupid people scare me because they are dangerous.
What I gave up, when I was 16, was my mother’s approval so that I could create my own life, by my design. That’s when I left home.
My calling is to connect people and with them to start conversations, so that we can all learn from each other, to always move forward, and with health.
I am LOVING this! I relate to you even more now. Because giving up on getting Mom's approval doesn't equal giving up on Mom. And I know that's true for you, too, Emillio! xoxo
Thanks! I appreciate the explanation. I've been trying to think of an example, but I'm stuck.
What a powerful read, Christy! I really needed that. I love how you put it Dash that you gave up your right to protect yourself, and that it makes for authentic, satisfying relationships. Hear hear!
Also, I like sunshine toddler better than pandemic baby! ;-)