Jim Jordan: Too Honest for the House of Representatives?
Three tries—considerably fewer than Kevin McCarthy’s fifteen—and a healthy, Trump-aligned1 Jim Jordan no longer qualifies as the GOP’s House speaker nominee. After McCarthy’s fall, the Catholic Church offered Steve Scalise, whose primary skill of bellowing unoriginal talking points remains unaffected after a gunshot wound and blood cancer diagnosis. Scalise’s2 failure to follow McCarthy enraged several GOP members, who were likely expecting kickbacks from foreign aid outlays. I suspect the process involves “aid” sent first to Ukraine, Israel, or Taiwan, then repurposed without any possible audit back to American companies “serving” the (proxy) war cause.3 No other logical reason explains the military-industrial complex and why Congress is perpetually pro-Israel4 while every non-Trump ally is fanatically pro-Ukraine. Native-born Americans like foreigners, but not that much, unless their bills are being paid or the rating is at least NC-17. (Palestinian politics is as corrupt as everywhere else, but until they can use “aid” to improve themselves and the West’s economy, a two-state solution will never happen.) More wars—preferably against smaller nations with natural resources—mean more foreign aid, more kickbacks, and more campaign contributions. Hunter S. Thompson wrote about a generation of swine, but he never imagined the complexity of the trough.
At the end of the day, Jim Jordan isn’t the problem—GOP inexperience promoting victimhood as a political and economic solution hurts public relations. Rather than complex and unpredictable social programs, the GOP has always preferred the consistency of petroleum and the lightness of natural gas. Mayors don’t host parades celebrating “Guaranteed ROI with the Right Expertise,” but the party of Big Oil, wary of the highs and lows of the 1980s, once preferred a practical approach to domestic and foreign affairs. If others peddled promises of peace and sugarplums, a GOP man could be counted on to nod solemnly and wince slightly, knowing true contentment awaited at home with his wife, two children, and wooden fence.5 Perhaps oil embargoes and Middle Eastern conflicts didn’t help, but the ballast of strong currency, hard labor and essential work proved insufficient to hold the American imagination.6 Pastors entered the void, selling their own versions of peace and love, and soon an alliance of ornate crosses and tax-exempt real estate believed it their sacred duty to replace the misbegotten sons of bankers and wildcatters.
Were it up to the GOP or Donald Trump, ExxonMobil, ConocoPhillips, and Halliburton would be as valuable as Aramco while Google, Microsoft, and Apple clamored for a piece of the pie. The genius of the Democratic Party has been taking finite, indispensable and tangible assets, then crafting regulations mandating lawyers as intermediaries. Were American law reliable, consistent, and affordable, no one would take issue with this form of checks and balances. Unfortunately, state and federal laws are anything but and will remain troubled as long as law school tuition is excessive.7 Though Americans are finally understanding prosecutors and even judges can be motivated by politics and partisanship, well-crafted Hollywood legal dramas8 deflect a reality in which Kenneth Starr can investigate presidential extramarital fellatio more successfully than John Durham examining FBI incompetence. In any case, if sugar, online streaming, and subsidies—far more addictive than the usual bread and circuses—fail to distract, some drug will be legalized, then another, until Aldous Huxley’s heirs request FDA approval for soma. Apathy comes in many forms, under many names, and waits patiently for us to grow suspicious of our leaders, then our neighbors. These days, it need not worry about integrity disrupting its feast.
The future, assuming honesty is prioritized, favors a reversal of the “natural resource curse.” One of the twentieth-century’s understated miracles was the success of countries lacking significant oil and gas deposits.9 If the foundations of democracy have cracked, revealing more chimera than concrete, then citizens are apt to demand more tangible results.10 Despite analog advances, just one month without oil and gas, and the Apocalypse hearkens, Moses, Jesus, Mohammad, Shiva, and every Buddha visible on the horizon. The intangibility of accounting, law, and morality having proven untrustworthy, voters naturally yearn for results they can touch, see, and use.
Progressive politicians may not realize “inflation,” though abstract, denotes the numbers voters see at the gas pump, and “law and order,” also abstract, assumes a policeman on the corner. Once upon a time in America, the conservative understood his or her job was to determine which abstract concepts led to a stable and prosperous society, then make them visible. If unsure whether an idea could be made whole enough to feel with one’s eyes and hands, then at least the conservative knew not to make grand promises. Today, no one knows what model represents the GOP’s conservatism, but if the affable though intellectually-plain Jim Jordan isn’t good enough, then one wonders about the future of both the GOP and Western politics.11
In America’s next round of “Promises or Propaganda,” the party harnessing oil and gas has significant advantages if it improves the usual de-regulation spiel and rejects climate change denial. Fraying social cohesion can be repaired if resources are managed wisely and if the GOP understands more friends abroad are better than more enemies.12
Since some countries have more tangible resources than others, sovereign wealth imbalances will continue as existing leaders maintain or leverage assets while others strive to avoid their economic fates as mere consumers. The secret to better globalization and better nationalism is fairness grounded in truth—truthful numbers, truthful marketing, truthful banking, and reasonable promises.
Many of us have heard the term “plutocracy,” but few know its origin derives from Plutus, the god of wealth. Two thousand or so years ago, Lucian of Samosata wrote that everyone assumed Plutus was acting on behalf of Zeus, son of the supreme ruler, but in fact, Hades was his true master. In this version, Plutus has grown weary of his life and describes a morbid scene meant to garner sympathy not for the devil, but for the devil’s right-hand man:
The dead man lies in some dark corner, shrouded from the knees upward in an old sheet, with the cats fighting for possession of him, while those who have expectations wait for me in the public place, gaping as wide as young swallows that scream for their mother’s return.
I’ve not seen a more apt description of the House of Representatives these past two weeks. I wish the next Speaker the best of luck.13
© Matthew Mehdi Rafat (October 22, 2023, from Singapore, a country without natural resources surrounded by resource-rich neighbors)
Trump refers to Donald Trump, who is attempting a 2024 presidential run. Unlike most American politicians, Trump has criticized “aid” to Ukraine: “The Democrats are sending another $40 billion to Ukraine, yet America’s parents are struggling to even feed their children.” (Source: The Hill, May 13, 2022, by Caroline Vakil)
Having lost the title of “Most Corrupt State” to New Jersey, Louisiana now leads the nation in the following category: “Politicians of above-average intelligence who lack any and all concept of self-awareness.”
“The goal is to use Afghanistan to wash money out of the tax bases of the U.S. and of the tax bases of European countries through Afghanistan and back into the hands of a transnational security elite. The goal is an endless war, not a successful war.” — Julian Assange
In the middle of electing a speaker, House Rep. Derrick Van Orden decided to travel to Israel. California governor Gavin Newsom will also travel to Israel soon. California is home to USA’s most influential digital technology companies.
Want a name that summarizes this way of life? Try “The Mitt Romney Special.”
“Those who are truly decrepit, living corpses, so to speak, are the middle-aged, middle-class men and women who are stuck in their comfortable grooves and imagine that the status quo will last forever, or else are so frightened it won’t that they have retreated into their mental bomb shelters to wait it out.” — Henry Miller
As of 2023, California state law schools charge more than 50,000 USD annually for academic expenses, which does not include living expenses.
Prince Harry, Duke of Sussex, married Meghan Markle, an actress in “Suits” (2011-2019), a legal drama.
See Japan, Germany, Türkiye, South Korea, and of course, Singapore.
“The Constitution is paper. The sword is steel.” (Source: unknown)
2023’s GOP is so tragic, Texas, once a national bellwether, is unrecognizable in it. The land of Molly Ivins (from a conservative family), Ross Perot, Rex Tillerson, and Jim Hightower has gone more barren than the Trans-Pecos.
Such a statement should be self-evident, but the reader of the future must understand America and the West have been fighting hot or cold wars continuously since 9/11—more than twenty two consecutive years.
Update: on October 25, 2023, Mike Johnson (R-Louisiana), an evangelical Christian, became Speaker. In his opening address, he mentioned reasons his wife Kelly wasn’t in attendance: “She’s spent the last couple of weeks on her knees in prayer to the Lord. And, um, she’s a little worn out.”