“Boundaries are basically about providing structure, and structure is essential in building anything that thrives.” Henry Cloud.
“The ice-cream metaphor has since developed a mind of its own in my conversations. It’s been used to negotiate intention and desire, contemplate the balance between complacency and taking a risk for success, and – of course – free will and determinism.” Jessica N. Class
For the last four or five weeks I’ve mainly being arguing with myself about eating ice-cream. Every day, more than once a day. Well, if I’m honest at least 3 times a day.
To be fair, this has been a really live and lively debate in my head (and occasionally out loud) because:
1. I’ve recently become freelance again SO you know, I can eat ice-cream whenever I want.
2. It’s been very hot.
3. I am working at home and the freezer taunts me with its tantalising ice-cream content. Vanilla? Magnum? Mint Choc Chip? Strawberry and Cream?
It would, of course, be flippant to say this is the major concern of freelancers and yet this ice-cream dilemma does exemplify and highlight a major difference of freelance vs PAYE, or freedom vs structure, solitude vs company, self-determinism vs company policy (or custom and practice).
Working for someone else, whilst more flexible than it’s ever been in some quarters in terms of hybrid vs remote (though NOT for everyone), nonetheless provides a daily structure – a negotiated time to start and finish, and if you’re full time a quantity of hours and expectations for delivery. And meetings. This might just be my experience BUT lots and lots of meetings – meetings that would make better emails, meetings where things are way bigger and need more time than designated, management meetings, meetings about potential meetings, meetings to look at the future, or the past. And many of these meetings generate actions that need to be accomplished before the next meeting.
But above all what this structuring does to your every day is keep your ice-cream issues in check. I mean you can make a beeline for the fridge (I mean they do have fridges in workplaces) but tongues would surely way if you’re always there rootling around in the freezer for a block of Neapolitan to slice and dice into wafers.
Freelance: ah freedom! Erm no, not really. Freelance (and I suspect remote work) is about a self-imposed structure, a thoughtful arrangement of time to deliver your competing commitments (not that different from the workplace then?) with the main difference being that you have to impose your own schedule. But the big upside is that you can eat all the ice-cream, and, largely speaking when you want to. (Is it tax-deductible? Is ice-cream eating a critical business expense? Health well-being – I’d say.)
There’s obviously fundamental difference between PAYE and self-employment but work values: integrity, timekeeping, efficiency, delivery, commitment, collaboration, and many others are all values held in common but how and when you deliver as a freelancer are more in your control. As is what you choose to spend your time doing. And all this makes the metaphor of the ice-cream all the more pertinent: when you eat it, in what quantities you eat it and the frequency with which you eat it is entirely your business to decide.
And metaphor aside, this issue of when, how, what, who with has been exercising me a lot. Because structure matters. Because structure is necessary for anything that thrives.
Last time I was freelance, I had this crazy over-working idea in my head about dividing each day into 3 (3 half days) or if you like 3 lots of ice-creams: which meant that I worked morning afternoon and evening and sometimes Saturday and Sunday too.
Two things: I was last freelance 12 years ago, and I was younger then. And secondly, these 3 half days a day thing no long feels sustainable.
Hence my pre-occupation with structure. I’m not averse to working ‘after’ hours. I’ve worked in theatre most of my working life and after hours is taken as read – and I know that my personality is the sort that works tirelessly at things that interest me and that matter. And even though I’ve not been a teacher for 30 years I still have to fight myself to not work on Sunday afternoon! But I also know that I will not survive if I don’t put clear parameters on my time.
So, ice-cream. Eating it vs leaving it in the freezer for a treat? Both. Because thriving means structure but also being flexible – eating the ice-cream when needed (if it could be said to ever be needed.) Thriving means doing what needs to be done in a measured, systematic way that doesn’t exclude the possibility of a nice cone full of salted caramel when you feel like it.